The smell of Carlsberg.

Happy Birthday Malaysia.
Had a pretty long night last night.
I thought I was just gonna watch the fireworks by myself,
but ended up watching it with Zac, Machi and Jessica from DU, and PikYie and Yau Suen.
We had Carlsbergs, Mamee's, a whole load of dirty talkin', and of course..

The beautiful fireworks.

Haha I was so afraid that the fireworks would be shot into a different area,
since I had told all of them that they'd have front row seats to watch the fireworks if they came over to my place.
Imagine if it was shot into another area and we couldn't really see it,
I damn diu lor haha.

Gah mum bugging me to go 1U with her.
Yes, at 10:23am in the morning because there aren't many people there now.
More updates later when I come back. :D
But no pictures. =/
My camera was sent for repair.. so yeah.
Pik Yie and Machi have a few pictures, so don't fret!
Haha. See you.

I have an enemy.. and its name is loneliness.

Frickin' school is starting again.
We only had like, a week off, and it feels like a month.
Feels so long.. yet so short.

I have a strong feeling tomorrow's gonna be real shitty.
I'm gonna get fucked for not completely my homework/work in class, wearing too many earrings, having a white polished nail-
You know what? I don't just have a feeling my day's gonna be shitty tomorrow;
I KNOW.
Gah.

And to top it all off,
bloody year end exam is approximately 23 days away.
And I haven't lifted a finger to do anything.
Owhhhh yeaaaaah. I'm fucked, so fucked.

There's been only one good thing to look forward to..
Hari Merdeka is on Thursday.
Which means no Pn. Soo and..

NO CHEN! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I feel a tad bit happier already. :D:D
But actually, I kind of pity her..
The Pengetua is so hard on teachers.
And I guess some teachers just can't take it. =/
I know how it feels when you're being pressured by someone.
I feel sorry for you, Pn. Chen, I really do,
but I just can't help disliking you just a tiny little bit.

I am such a mean person.
Which probably explains why I'm also such a lonely person..
Sigh.

Take Me Away

Gah shouldn't have drank so much beer last night.
Having a slight headache now..
I had fun being tipsy though.
Cos when I'm tipsy I'm extra happy haha.
Its fun, really.

Went for some AIA dinner last night.
The theme was Hawaiian Night (but we decided to screw the theme and just wear whatever we want. I mean, they can't kick us out, right?)
I was invited by my mum's friend;
to teman her daughter, Serena.
Serena and I are golf buddies haha.
She plays MUCH better than I do, thankfully.
And she has a cool English accent since she used to live in London.
Haha anyway, the food was pretty owhkay. I liked the chicken.
And they had sharks fin soup, too.
We missed the first course due to our lack of sense of punctuality.

The whole night consisted of us talking about lesbians,
Serena thinking I'm lesbian/Bi,
Us watching this woman sitting opposite us acting like she was drunk, (shouting, laughing REALLY loudly, kissing her husband in public, laughing REALLY loudly)
I say acting like she was drunk because she didn't drink any beer;
Serena and I had 2 glasses of beer each at the time and were more sober than her,
Us eating,
Us eating even more,
Us eating almost everything..
Eiih, if we didn't eat up everything, the food would've just went to waste.
And that pretty much sums up what we did last night.























Haha I bet you're so sick of seeing our faces now.
Gosh almost ALL the pictures turned out ugly..
Owh well, its not like I'm very pretty anyway haha.

Hmm Im saying weird things again I wonder whether I may still be a little tipsy even after so long..

The ride home was fun.
Serena's mum was a little tipsy, too and she was saying weird things,
which cracked us up.
Hmm yeah. Then I went home to sober myself up.


I am going to go eat now.
Where the hell is my mum..

Here we go agaiiinnn..

Its been such a boring past few days.
Yeah.. and you'd think I would've gotten around to pondering books,
but it seems that I haven't. SIGH.
I see my Dooms Day up ahead..
And here we go again.

I wonder when the time will come when I will finally grow a hardworking bone in my body.
And put my brains to better use than just makeup and clothes and things which I shouldn't be thinking about.
Gah.

Enough of that..
May Yi came over yesterday, and we did.. shite.
Yeah. Since I was using the computer, I told her to go camwhore with my digital cam.
I didn't think she'd actually do it.. but I shud've known better haha.
I found these pictures in my camera this morning when I turned it on.















LOL Machi, Machi.

You're all probably wondering why the pictures are so big-assed.
Thats cos its easier for me to upload them one shot in photobucket instead of using dumb blogger which keeps being bitch.
And when I upload them into photobucket, their extra large because thats the original size of the picture.
I resized it abit la.. if not it won't be big-assed anymore,
it'd be damnchatbig-assed.

I've got a free dinner tonight at Mandarin Oriental,
and I had completely forgotten about it and promised to go for someone's party.
Sigh how blur can I get?
Sorry huns,
I got you something, though :D

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

This little section is for you.
You're 20 today, and I wish you a very Happy Birthday.
I don't think you visit my blog anymore,
much less even think about me on this day.
But I cannot bring myself to swallow my pride and wish you personally.
So I'll just do it here.

3 years ago, on this very date, we spent the day holding hands.
And I had given you a cup with writings on it.
Such sweet memories.. I don't know if you still remember them.
But it doesn't matter anymore.

Happy Birthday, Bear.
You will always have a place in my heart. :)
No matter how much we don't get along anymore.






It hurts to be with you..
Do you want me to leave?
No.. stay.

Blast From The Past

Edit.
1.34pm


Him and I, we had a long, long talk just now.
He started it.
It was painful at certain parts,
but I'm glad we finally talked things out, after all these years.
I guess in a way.. this was how he finished it.
I think this way, I'll finally be able to let go of what once was.



long time ago.. were you angry at me?
Angry at you?



I also found out that the reason he had stopped calling during that time was cos of a certain somebody.
A certain someone who had told him untruthful things..
Untruthful things which had made him think the worst of me,
and refused to talk to me.
I have not spoken to that person in a long, long time;
and so I will not take into account all the shit she had said to him,
which left me with a broken heart.
But the most terrible thing was that he had actually believed her;
and had not confronted me about it.



if that was the real u.. wuts the point -_-



You asked me what were we;
friends? just a cousin's cousin? strangers?
And now, after discussing everything..
I wonder what we are.
We talked about it.. but didn't come to a conclusion.
I asked you the same thing, later on in the conversation..
and you gave me one of your silly answers.



Now that everythings settled.. what are we again?
Human Beings.



After so long, we've finally closed this book, or rather just this section.
I can finally stop thinking of what could've been.
Or rather, what should've been.
Tonight's been a real blast from the past.
And everything went back to how it was before we started this whole lets-clear-things-up conversation.



Find a girl for me you know.. one who is cute and would pose like that for me.
Go away you perv.
Sigh, some people just cannott understand art.



A pretty good ending to this part of the story I'd say. :)






Haha I was abit free.
If only I used the time to study..
Gah.

I just want..

Here I am again,
late at night; or rather early in the morning,
writing; or rather typing, out my thoughts.

It really disturbs me the way he acts around me.
I've always felt that him and I have some sort of a thing.
Yeah its this topic again haha.
Maybe it was because he was sort of my first love,
and the first person I had ever felt strong feelings for.
Its been a long, long time since then.
And now we're just friends.
We once talked about the past. A few times infact.
And when I asked him if, perhaps, there was still a little.. something (?) between us?
He said he didn't know.
And as much as I hated it, I was affected by those words.
He didn't know.

Well.. we've been neither here nor there since then.
Had little.. I wouldn't call them arguements, perhaps disagreements?
Well, disagreements on very silly things.
But he'd always have a way of making everything work out in the end.
He'd always make me smile at the end of it all.

I wonder when he'll finish what he started.
I thought I had stopped waiting a long time ago.. but it seems I haven't.
I've been through so many other guys since that time.
Since that very innocent time, when we both didn't know what we were doing..
until the pain started kicking in.

Sometimes he says things which confuse me.
Yeah.. that dance.
He pushes me out, and then he pulls me back in again..
and sometimes I am left hanging.
Like now.

Cecilia Ahern's Where Rainbows End is really getting to me.
They both never told each other how they felt when they had the chance,
and when they finally got together.. they were already in their fifties.
And they had been with so many other people so wrong for them,
gotten hurt and torn apart countless times before they finally really found each other.
I don't want that to happen to me.

I guess I'll just have to stop waiting.



Me and you.. no more chance?
All the more I won't ask.

Field of Tiger Lilies

"We were strangers, starting out on a journey.. never dreaming, what we'd have to go through." - Richard Marx and Donna Lewis


Yeah, coming back today.
Gosh I can't wait.
I need some alone time;
had a little too much of family drama last night.
*coughdadbeingextremelybitchytomymumcough*
*coughiwasbeingextremelybitchyinreturncough*
Sigh. Too much for my heart to take.
I think I'LL die from a heart attack before he does gah.

Did alot of things in three days.
Less than three days actually. Went to this patriotic day thingy with my cousin.
Was supposed to help makeup, but ended up making up only one girl HAHA
It was pretty fun, met alot of people. Girls la haha.
There was this damn cute fellar, who was helping out with the make up.
He has this cool hair, like those hairstylists kind (my cousin tells me he's a hairstylist too)
And he had this unique style; with the striped button down shirt and leather shoes.
GOD, he was SO HOT.
He was so gentlemeanly, too! Held the door open for my couz and I and all.
but guess what? I think you've guessed it already haha.

Yeah. He's fucking GAY.
Gah. What they say is true.
Guys who are gentlemanly, handsome, unique.. (the list goes on)
are all GAY. #$@^%$*%*&P)(^%$$@#@!^$*IN';

I'll update more on that later on, after I've come back.
Parents will be coming soon to pick me up and we'll be heading home.
Pray that there will be no more family drama.
Owhkay fine, there can never be NO family drama;
so just pray that there will be less.
*praypraypray*

Toodles. :):)


I didn't get to eat my fried oysters. :(:(

Love Me Tender

I've always wondered why guys like to treat us girls this way.
I mean, they always do the same thing, dance the same dance.
They push you out, and then they twirl you back in in a flourish.
And we girls, just, fall right back in to their arms;
eventhough we know we're just going through the same cycle..
and we'd get hurt again.

One of my close friends (I won't mention who) met this guy about 4 months back.
He was sweet and all and they clicked instantly.

She was always excited when she was about to go and meet him,
made me feel excited for her, too haha.
The first time he came over to see her was a Thursday.
She was jumping up and down and making funny faces out of excitement.

After that they really got into it. As their relationship grew,
she was happy everyday. They did almost everything couples did,
took pictures of themselves kissing..
And then the shit started.
They argued.. she cried, he didn't care.
She waits for his call, his sms, even a "hi" on msn would do.
And slowly.. he just stopped everything.
Stopped comunicating completely.. everything.

But my friend, being the strong person that she is, and also the fact that their little rendevouz didn't exactly last long, got over it soon enough.
As I, and outsider witnessed all the events happening..
it reminded me much of my own experiences.
I always manage to brush them away, but as I was looking through my picture folder,
I came across this photo that they (my friend and that guy) had taken.
And I started to think about how they had felt during the climax of their short time together,
how she felt when everything started going downhill,
how he felt when everything started going downill,
and I also wondered, perhaps, had they ever thought of what would've been?
Or what could've been?

Then I start to hurt again.. that same hurt I felt when all that shit happened to me.
I mean, I'm totally over that guy. I don't think of him anymore..
just that at times like these.. I am suddenly at a lost for words.
No matter how much I am over him, he will always, always own a part of me.
And that small part of me still hurts because of him, sometimes, albeit very seldomly.
That small part of me still thinks of what would have been, and what could have been.
And that small part of me, will always want him.
Eventhough he always does that dance with me..
Pushing me out, and then twirling me right back into his arms.



I love you.
Don't say things you don't mean..
especially when I know you don't mean them.

Breath

Edit.

at 11:33am


The hols have begun again.
But I wouldn't call this one week holidays.
They're more like study study-break rather than the usual party holidays,
which are what holidays are supposed to be.
I'll be in driving to Penang with Mum, Dad and Aunty tomorrow evening. (or rather this evening)
Change of plans. Will only be driving to Penang tomorrow morning.
I love going to Penang, but I HATE the drive there.
Especially when I don't have my music. =/
Its already so cramp in the backseat when I am the only one there,
but now we have an extra passenger. =.=
Had planned to go pierce my ear (again) with Mag and some others at 1U tomorrow,
but I guess that'd have to wait.

I'm glad I'm leaving for Penang actually, just not tomorrow.
Was kinda looking forward to piercing my ear again haha.
Yay so now I'll be going to1U to get my ears pierced (again) haha. :D
LOL I sound so masochistic.

I'm looking forward to getting away from everything.
Do a little soul searching, and a little studying too, (haha)
while enjoying good food. :)
Omg I just thought of fried oysters.

Was on the phone for an hour with Machi just now.
It was like, the longest phonecall I have had for ages.
It felt good, just talking nonsense and laughing for no apparent reason. :D
I'm glad I got Machi.

Sigh. I know I probably shouldn't rub it in anymore,
but the year end exams are coming, once again.
GAH more stress and more pressure sigh.
I'll be downing a LOT of caffeine when the time comes.

Owh yeah. I wanna thank Shi ChingChing and Vanessa for lending me their phones.
Although Vanessa's phone can't be turned on haha
and Shi Ching's phone doesn't have its 'on' button.
I ended up using May Ee's old 8310 because it was in the best condition haha.
BUT, thank you ALL for your help, nonetheless. :D
Loooovvee you people!
Owh and thanx Mr. Slimy for going to get the phones for me, too. :D:D
And yeah, thanks Jesse for lending me your mp3 player.
You have just made my upcoming drive to Penang a whole much more easier to bear. :)

Sigh, I haven't packed my stuff yet, and I gotta bring some of my books to study there.
And not to mention a whole load of AddMaths excercises for practice when I'm there.
I'll still be blogging when I'm there, using my cousin's cacat old computer haha. :)
I'm suddenly missing Eugeney. :(


Well, til the next post.
Toodles. :D


I didn't get to post a picture of mum in the previous post when I wrote about her birthday cos blogger was being bitchy.
So here's one now:

LOL Mum :D

In Dire Straits.

Edit.


They say that there is a silver lining at every dark cloud.



I've been surrounded by a dark cloud these past few months,
and although there's suppose to be a silver lining here somewhere,
I don't see it.
I'm not the type to complain on how pathetic my life is publicly,
but I currently feel as if I have no one to turn to.
So much regret and dissapointment have been piled on me lately,
I don't know how long more it'll take before I crumble.

It was raining hard with a huge thunderstorm just now.
And everytime that happens, I have to shut down the whole house's power system
so nothing would get destroyed by the lightning.
Normally Dad would be home, and he'd do it, and I wudn't be alone waiting in the semi darkness.
But this time.. I was all alone, lying on the couch,
waiting for the storm to lift.
The thunder was horrifying.
The lightning which streaked the sky litted it up like it was morning.
And when the climax of the storm brew;
the lightning brighter than ever,
and the sound of thunder reverberating at its loudest through this part of the Earth,
I realized, that I was on my own.
And that I would be the one person, whom I could turn to no matter when or where.
The one person who is going to help myself pull through everything.
Everything.
I finally realized that when failure descends upon you,
weighing you down,
all you can do is swallow it, fuck it, and get back up again.




A silver lining at every dark cloud?
I wonder.
Perhaps.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Shitty. The perfect word to describe my day.
I'm suddenly finding myself wishing the boil in my eye hadn't subsided so I wouldn't have had to go to school today to face so much shit.
I was sms-ing my transport lady to come pick me up after school,
and Norita had seen me "in the action" from all the way infront. (I sit quite far back)
I don't really blame Norita from taking it from me,
cos I kinda got caught before but at that time I was playing with Machi's phone.
She'd given me a warning and given back my phone.
But this time.. sigh.
GAH.
Shitty.
And Hamizan.. God, I wanna kill her.
But nah, I think all the shit she uses on her face will probably do it for me one day.
I swear the foundation on her face is at least 1cm thick.
She didn't have to be such a bitch. :(
Yeah yeah I know I kinda deserve it, as we all know that handphones aren't allowed,
what more sms-ing in class.
But still! There are SO many other people who sms all day long in class and don't get caught.
I, on the other hand, who was sms-ing her transport lady to come pick her up after school gets caught.
WTF? Where's the justice in that? >:'(

If I had an extra phone at home, I wouldn't be so frustrated now.
The problem is that I don't have an extra.
My handphone is like a part of my body,
I can't live without it!
And so far there's no one who has an extra phone/old phone to lend me.
I am, yes, in dire straits! And to top off the cake with icing,
its the frickin holidays! How am I going to live without my phone during the hols?
Gosh I sound damned bimbo, but I am as serious as the sky is blue.
I am desperate. :'(

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

On a lighter note, its mum's birthday today. :)
She's old. Haha :D
I love my mummy.

Dear Daddy,

I'm sorry I yelled at you last night.
I knew you yelled at me first because you cared about my health.

I'm sorry I always thought you annoying,
when all you wanted me to know was that I should take care of myself.

I'm sorry I troubled you this morning, and also yesterday morning, and also all those other times when you had taken me to see the doctor.
Yesterday night when we had our little quarrel, you had yelled at mum, and asked her to take me to the doctor instead.
I was hurt.
But this morning.. I knew what you said last night wasn't true.
The way you ran around to get me cream for my sores,
the way you rushed me to the coffee shops to get something to eat when I said I was hungry..
I knew you cared.
I just refused to admitt to myself, probably.


Dear Daddy,

I enjoy sitting with you, talking with you, laughing with you..
and sometimes I think you understand me more than Mummy.
And when we argue, it hurts me more than you can imagine.
I always want to cry when we do, but I promise myself that I will not.
Because I refused to lose the battle; that very pointless battle.

I remember when I was seven, I had fallen down and broke my front tooth.
You rushed to school, and carried me to the car,
although I had told you that I could walk and didn't need to be carried.
I was afraid you'd yell at me again for falling.
But you didn't.. I could see, even at the age of seven,
that you were worried. You were even more worried than mummy haha.

I remember looking at you, and saying the words, "I'm sorry", inside my heart.
I had wanted to say that I was sorry that you had to drop everything and rush to me,
I had wanted to say that I was sorry that I had made you so worried,
I had wanted to say that I was sorry that I had made you spend so much money on a careless 7 year old girl who had fallen down and broke her tooth.

I didn't say it, Daddy, because I didn't dare to, not because I didn't want to.


Dear Daddy,


It is the same as when I was 7 then, its just that now I am 16.
I still couldn't say those things I had so wanted to say.

Well Daddy, I'm sorry. I know you care about me, you just don't show it like Mummy does.
And I don't show it, either.
But you know, I do. :)
Perhaps one day you'll read this.
Perhaps one fine day...

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Went to see the doctor this morning about my lips and my eye.
I always thought my lips were just cracked and dry,
but it turns out that its some sort of allergy, which is why its inflamed.
Sigh Dad said its cos I'm allergic to dust.
He gave me a whole friggin lecture on how dirty my room is and blabla.
He threatened to throw all my babies (stuffed toys) away if I didn't send them for dry-cleaning.

My mum thought I had diabetes and made me take a blood test for it this morning.
She gave me a looooooonnnggg nagggiiinngg lecture on how terrible diabetes was,
how you'd have to amputate body parts when it gets worse,
and how it'll eventually lead to kidney failures,
how I wouldn't be able to eat what I like anymore yada yada yada.
When she said that I wouldn't be able to eat what I liked anymore,
I started to take the whole diabetes thing seriously.
I won't be able to eat yummy things anymore!
How is one to live without cakes, sweets, lamb chops?
Yeah, Monks and Nuns, but hellooo?
I ain't a monk or a nun.
I can't do that! :(:(
I even stopped eating so much sweets and drinking sweet drinks! (soft drinks, milo, basically any beverage that contains sugar)

So anyway, I took the bloody test this morning.
The result was 4.5.
I was normal. Any figure below 6 is normal.
Phew.
I can eat now yay. :D
Which means I can have my sweets during addmaths tuition later yay. :D

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Its about 5 weeks before the year end exams.
I am SO NOT PREPARED.
I should be memorizing Sejarah facts and practicing more Addmaths.
But instead, I'm watching more anime than ever.

Oooh, speaking of anime, there's another double release of Blood+!
I can't wait til it finishes, that way I can actually start studying..

I kinda miss going to school haha.
Its kinda weird, cos every morning when I have to wake up for school,
I feel that its such a drag and I'd find every excuse to not go to school.
But now.. I kinda wanna go back.
Sigh. I'm weird weird.

Saya
Blood+

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I just finished editting this new template last night.
I found this skin from blogskins.com, and since it looked pretty owhkay and edit-able,
I decided to just use it until I find another.
Besides, I like the theme: Afterglow

I looked up the word 'afterglow' in Britannica.com, and this was what I got:


Main Entry: af·ter·glow
Pronunciation: 'af-t&r-"glO
Function: noun
1 : a reflection of past splendor, success, or emotion
2 : a glow remaining where a light has disappeared


I chose the title Beneath This Facade: Bask In The Afterglow,
perhaps because I yearn for the past, when I thought I had everything I wanted.
I had gotten almost everything I wanted, and that was enough.
I guess I am still basking in its afterglow, refusing to allow the feeling to pass..

Hmm I don't seem to be making much sense.


Anyyywaayyyy, something weird happened to my old template.
It just sort of dissapeared.
One day, I had wanted to link someone, and so I clicked on the template button,
and only less than half of my template loaded.
So I thought mozilla was just lagging, and pressed refresh.
Still my full template did not appear, only less than half of it!
I was panicking. I went to my page,
and everything was still there.
I asked Slimy to check out my template, and he said that the full template was there!
I did not know why I didn't ask him to copy and paste the entire thing to me. =.=
So anyway, I thought if I just left it there, it'll come back after awhile.
You know, when it finishes lagging or whatever.
But it didn't! Instead, it got worse.
My page couldn't be viewed anymore, only the header (picture of the girl) was there.
Nothing else.
So I used one of the blogger templates as a temporary.

I noticed that when there was no cbox my comments seem to have increased..
Hmm perhaps I should remove the cbox. ;P


Wow, I noticed that this post is the longest I have written which is filled with words.
Cos normally when I have a long post, its mostly filled with pictures.



And this concludes the end of this post.
Til we meet again. :)

Lemon

My blogger template went haywire.
Yes, the one I took hours to edit, the one I took so much pains to add in the post title, change the font colours, etc.
Sigh.
I chose this template as a temporary one.
It doesn't look so bad.. maybe I'll just leave it this way. Since Im so lazy to go fall inlove with another and waste hours editting it.
My eye hurts. Skipped school because of my eye.
Feel like eating some maggi mee to salve my wounds..
hmm that doesn't sound like a bad idea after all.

Im gonna get fatter..

I seek solace.

Everytime I have negative thoughts,
I always try to brush them away, because, you know,
it'll affect you and all, as Terry always says haha.
Hmm lets try brushing them away now.


My right eye is swollen
My blogger template has gone haywire
My brain can't seem to do addmaths anymore
My eyes hurt just looking at my monitor
My mum says I may have diabetes
My lips are still bleeding
My library book is 7 days overdue and that means I owe the frickin library RM3.50
My tummy is getting bigger
My burners screwed and pissing me off cos I really wanna burn songs into a cd so I can listen to them on my hifi cos my desktop speakers are shit
My soul seeks solace, just a little bit will do
My conscience keeps telling me to start studying but the only subject I've started on is AddMaths
My brain is telling me to go change the song on my hifi because its becoming pretty anoying hearing the same thing over and over again (hey isn't that a song)
My body feels tired by just thinking about my looooooooooooooooong schedule tomorrow
My whole self is at the verge of shutting down by itself now I can just drop dead onto my desk infront of me and wake up with a bad headache because of the position I slept in so..


Byebye. So much for positive thoughts.
But you know.. at times and conditions like these,
there's just nothing poitive about the whole thing.
Ah Ha! Another negative thought!
Gah. Goodnite.

Leave Me Alone

By The Veronicas.
A pair of funky twins from Aussieland.
Learn more about them here.
Great song, great band.
Click here to have a listen to their songs.
They're my new true love.
Besides Jay Chou, LinkinPark (Although they've already broken up) and Kylie Minogue.

The Veronicas

Its been a pretty owhkay day. Pretty boring, since I'm blogging when I've nothing to blog about actually haha.
Did some addmaths, was suppose to go lose some weight by playing vball,
but ended up goin over to Machi's for Pizza (Cheesy bites!).
Gosh, my daddy's been so nice to me these past few days Im feeling kinda guilty.

Went to Ikea with Mum today.
Was suppose to get shower curtains only,
and spend the minimal amount possible,
but ended up spending RM200 buying a rug for my room haha.
I feel kinda bad.. but heck!
I have a new red round rug for my room :D:D
&^*I&$%##$@the carpet's broken.
Gah. Gonna go back to Ikea to change for another.
didn't get the rug in the end.
When we went back to change it, most of them were like that.
With a really really small (you can't really see it) hole in it.
But according to the mother, she says the hole will get bigger.
And that it wasn't good quality,
so no new ruggy ruggy for my roomie roomie. :(
Owh wellll.

And I'm so jealous of MayMay!!!!! (Note: MayMay is May Ee, Machi is May Yi)
So so so so so sososososooosososososoo soososo x 100 JEALOUS!
Gah. She went offline just as I was about to ask her to send me a picture of her
GOLD COLOURED WEDGES (5inches!) FROM ZARA.
It costed her RM130 though.
Or rather it costed Siang RM130.
But she'll pay him bacckkk.. (kononnya! hehe :D)
Owh yeah, for those of you who are thinking,
"Huh?? Gold Potato wedges which cost RM130? Got such thing wan meh?"
No, they're not potato wedges. They're footwear.
Just thought you shud know haha.
Oooooooh! Double release of Blood+ today!
WhEeeEEeeEEeeeee~





Taz. :):)

The Skeletons Hidden In My Closet

Post removed due to personal reasons.

Hide.

Do you see it?
The reflection.
It looks into the mirror,
Sees what it doesn't want to see;
what it does not want to believe.
Those eyes, torn mouth.
The face of a failure.

It looks away,
Unable to face truth.
"Perhaps I should tell them? Tell them that I had let them down, again."
No. No, it could not.
Too much pain; too much dissapointment.
It crouches down,
The weight of not knowing;
Not knowing what to do,
Pulls it down onto the floor.
The burdens of a failure.

The tears, at first
Would not flow.
But when it did,
it continued, and continued, and continued;
Never stopping.
Even as it cried,
the burden was still there.
But it had to do something;
albeit ignorant to what,
What was to be done?
The decision of a failure.

"I cannot tell them. No, I cannot.
Too much pain, too much dissapointment."
Will a failure, always be a failure?
It was afraid,
very afraid.
A failure is always afraid.
Always.

Its here.. almost here.

Bloody year end exams are like, what?
5 weeks away?
And I'm like so unprepared.
Sejarah.. looks like Ima have to crash study again, as I did during midyear.
Although it turned out alright, I have a feeling LadyLuck won't be on my side anymore.
Econs. I managed to pass the previous term;
and I definitely wanna get something better this term..
Sigh, gotta start reading everything up. =/
Accounts; managed to scrape through with a 50 something the previous term,
don't think I can do it again. Been daydreaming alot lately.. =/
ModMaths.. gotta do more practices.
And finally, the real killer.

ADDMATHS.

I hate the feeling of sitting there,
staring at the sums and not knowing how to do most of them.
I hate the feeling of not being able to get the f%$#^%king answer no matter how hard I try.
I hate the feeling of my bloody percentage dropping because of one bloody shit-ass fail.
I hate the feeling of feeling stupid.




And suddenly I don't feel like blogging anymore.

Its either you do, or you don't.

Gah. I was suppose to be at 1U an hour ago.
Finished golf early, I thought I could straight come home and dress then head straight there,
but my dearest daddy.. taking his own sweet time. =.=

Pictures when I come home. : )

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Edit.


Quite a satisfying day, today. :D:D
I managed to con persuade my mum into giving me RM50 to get something.
And I spent half of it on a skirt from WH which was at RM29,
and a pair of slippers from Nose, which was about RM24.
There were so many tops I would've bought if only they'd look good on me.
I am so fat now!
I mean, fatter than before! I weighed myself today and I put on..
I shan't say. Embarass myself only. :(:(
I seriously have to stop eating has and when I like and how much I want lor.
Have to excercise more, too.
Anyways, the taxi fare was murderous.
You see, we cabbed back to Machi's house (because she didn't wanna walk and it was dangerous anyway)
And then I took the same cab back to Xinhui's. (Was gonna walk to the vball court with her)
The taxi fare costed me RM10++.
Then my dad made me pay for my own dinner cos he had no cash with him and was lazy to go to the bank. =.=
Sigh.. I shall be broke til the end of this month.
AGAIN. GAH.
Owh wellllll...
I guess it would be good for me.
That way I wouldn't spend it on FOOD (junk food, icecream, sweet drinks, etc) anymore.

Had a class outing today. We had some money from the Carnival during June,
so we spent it eating at Pizza Hut! :D:D
You know, its weird to think that when I had first tranfered over to 4Merbau,
I was dreading every moment of it.
And now we're so close..
I mean, certainly their different from the friends I have always mixed with,
But I guess you could say I'm happy with them just the same. :)

I arrived late haha.
Due to golf and my time taking to get ready and also my dad watching his Tiger Woods.
But I still came in time for the Cheesy Bites!
It was why I had suggested to go there in the first place.
So I am thoroughly satisfied. :):)
After we ate, Machi and I; we dragged along Shafiq and Su Han (haha)
to come shopping with us.
We only went into a few shops as I didn't have much time.
We went to the normal la: Wh, Forever 21, TopShop, etc.
But spent most time at Wh.
Wh hardly has any sales, so this was the best time to get clothes from there. :D
I actually didn't know, 'til Machi told me about it since she had went shopping with her mom the other day.
I tried on like SO many things,
but ended up with only one skirt.
Haha the people working there must hate me. =P
I particularly liked this shirt which said "Touch Me" across the chest,
but didn't get it since my arms and the rest of me looked so HUGE in it.
=.=
I REALLY HAVE TO STOP EATING SO MUCH.
Sigh. =Owh yeah, there was this half jacket cloth thing that I had seen and wanted at Wh since a few months ago.
I went searching and searching around for it,
and when I had finally found it, there was no discount at all.
Damn shit lor...

Hmm yeah. And Shafiq (my "lingling" haha) bought me Ice Blended Chocolate at Starbucks! :D:D YUM.
Pictures!
I look so terrible in all of them. =.=
FAT ARMS FAT ARMS

We are damn hao lor. :D

We were doing all that shit in the dressing room and they were patiently waiting for us outside haha. :D

Hmm thats its.
Gonna shower, do some homework..
or maybe not HAHA.
I'm dead beat.

Cya. :):)

WTF?

Edit.

Gah.
I need to rant somemore.
If you're using Mozilla Firefox, do you notice that all those words which I had inserted tags for them to be bolded, italic or underlined,
aren't there anymore!
WHY IS THAT?
I've tried everything possible to fix it,
but nothing seems to work!
At first, when I had changed my purple template to this,
I wondered how it would look using the IE (Internet Explorer)
and it turned out REALLY ugly.
Its like, at the sidebar where my profile is (and also the part where my posts are), the font size is HUGE.
I have absolutely no idea why, since the font size had been set uniformly.
And besides, the font size was the size I had programmed in the template and turned out perfectly the way I wanted it to on Mozilla.
WHY IS IT THAT WHEN VIEWED IN IE IT TURNS OUT LIKE THAT??

^%$%#$^%$*(&^(*^%$%^$#$

So, people using IE to view my blog all this while,
try using Mozilla to view it.
Grrrr.

I've a notion to changed my layout again,
into one that would look the same in Mozilla and in IE.
But you think I got so much time ah? =.=

Gosh I am feeling SO annoyed now.


*


I've been watching the Taiwanese Drama series, "At The Dolphin Bay"
for the past few weeks.
I haven't watched for a week and a half now, cos I've been busy with other stuff and all.
So today when I FINALLY got to come back from school in the afternoon, (I usually come back in the evenings)
MY DAD DECIDES TO COME HOME AT 3-F**KING-30.
WTF?
Gosh I tambah annoyed only.
And the worse part is I can't show him my frustration.
My Daddy maarr... GRRR.


*


You know how it is,
when you gotta tell someone something,
but are afraid to hurt their feelings?
Gah. Exactly what I'm going through right now.
I can't get myself to go up to her and tell her that I have to stop.
Just now, when I saw her approaching from the other end of the corridor,
I steeled my nerves and waited for her to walk by.
And when she finally approached nearer.. I ran back into my class.
DAMNIT. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THIS.
This sucks cock la.

BOBO LETS GO TELL HER TOGETHER LAAAAA.
:(:(:(


*


I'd went for Terry's tuition yesterday for AddMaths.
And I had came back and tried to do the questions on Differentiation.
Sigh... I couldn't do it.
I mean, I refered and all to the other examples,
but I still couldn't comprehend why there was another fricking term there!
WHYWHYWHY
I had written and erase written and erase written and erase written and erase til the paper is at the verge of being torn now.
Thankfully its quite good quality paper.
I had followed the formulae RELIGIOUSLY,
and tried to apply it as best I can,
but still...

GAH IM STUPID.

And the most ironic thing was, before I left class yesterday, he had said to me,

"I can see that you're good at Maths. Maybe at the end of this year you may get an A1 for your Addmaths if you continue to do your sums and come for class."


I wanna cry.


Guess I'll go give it another try..
Hopefully I won't tear the paper.


*


This whole post sounded more like complaining,
rather than ranting.



Owh wait, are they the same thing?
Hmmm.


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I. NEED. TO. RANT.

WHY IS IT THAT WHEN THERE'S A MEGASALE EVERYWHERE,
I HAVE NO MONEY?

WHY IS IT THAT WHEN THERE ISN'T A MEGASALE ANYWHERE,
I HAVE MONEY? (Its not exactly a bad thing but still.)

WHY IS IT THAT MY MONTHLY ALLOWANCE NOW DOESN'T SEEM TO BE ENOUGH?

WHY IS IT THAT EVERYONE ELSE GETS TO BUY NICE CLOTHES DURING A MEGASALE,
AND I ONLY GET TO WATCH THEM BUY NICE CLOTHES DURING A MEGASALE?


Life is so unfair.
Or maybe I should try saving.

Owhkay I know already.
Every midyear (July-August), there will be a sale.
NEXT YEAR I SHALL STARVE MYSELF AND NOT USE ANY OF MY ALLOWANCES (only if they're emergencies)
TO SAVE UP FOR THE MEGASALE.
And then continue to starve myself after the megasale ends,
only to spend the money again during the NEXT megasale which is at the end of the year.

What a GREAT idea! That way I can become slimmer,
and have nice new clothes to wear, too!

Gosh it sounds so easy.
But much easier said than done..


*CRYCRYCRY*


BUT NEVERTHELESS,
I SHALL TRY.

Nono, trying is for losers, Terry always says.
I SHALL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES!


And now I shall begin OPERATION STARVE FOR THE MEGASALE!
Sounds pretty lame, but I can't think of a better name. (Any suggestions?)


Gah. Wish me luck.
Its gonna take up alot of willpower and determination.
Sheer hardwork.
Operation Starve for the Megasale will start now,
to be in time with the end year sales.
I CAN DO IT!


Better get some rest.
I've got Chen first thing tomorrow morning.
Sigh.


Owh yeah, Happy Birthday Yienny. :D


After re-reading this post, I realized that I've embarassed myself pretty badly, besides sounding pretty Bimbo. BUT SCREW IT LA.