Is you big enough?

I got this song stuck in my head and I can't stop listening to it.

I'm not a big fan of Rihanna, as many of you well know... But this one is really addictive. Try it out if you haven't already: Rihanna - Rude Boy.

The temperature here in London has been increasing, telling me that Spring is on its way... I have already experienced 2 seasons here and am about to experience the next one. Can't wait to not have to wear a coat when I go out!

I've been eating in massive amounts... I had 4 pots of yoghurt, 3 eggs, a garlic baguette, salmon cous cous salad, 4 pieces of fried chicken with a side of wedges... oh, and a lot of elderflower juice. But no worries, I will lose the weight as summer comes along. Because my money would have run out (from too much shopping) by then. HA! Just nice.

K Im here typing out crap again because I am shit bored and you know your life sucks when the only things you look forward to are classes and work. Actually looking forward to work isn't such a loser thing because when you work you're earning so it kind of is something to look forward to unless you're one of those people who's obsessed with money then you'd just be a loser yes I am digressing...

Right so I spent the whole day eating and watching Cougar Town. How wonderfully unproductive. I really cherish and appreciate days like these because I'm pretty sure I won't be having many days like this in the future.

Which brings me to my next topic. Last night I was bored (haha when am I NEVER bored???) and decided to research a little on summer internships; check out requirements, how to apply, application processes... etc. And then I realised (yes, yet another realisation) that I don't fucking know what I want to do! I know I know, everyone my age is more or less in the same position. But seriously, how does one go about picking a department to intern in when one has no bloody idea what s/he wants to do as a career?

I think it'd be cool and interesting to be an economics journalist, but I think I would end up hating the job. Then I thought since I'm so into trivial things like celeb gossip and clothes and stuff, maybe I should become a journalist in that area. Then again, there are SO many other people aspiring to be one of those and the industry is really quite hard to break in to - but that's just it, what ISN'T hard?

Which brings me to the question: what in the world do I want to do????

I know adults who already have a career path will tell you "Don't worry too much... you'll figure it out as time goes by."

But you see, I need to decide NOW. I want to start working towards something NOW, I need to know NOW!

I really need to see a career counselor.


On that note, I shall end this post abruptly. Goodnight world.

1, 2, 3, 4?

My first paper is Stats 2, on the 1st of June.

This final exam will pretty much determine which country I'll go to.

It's either Aus or UK or.... here for another year. Haha.


Every time I tell someone I don't think my final grade is going to be good enough for the UK, they tell me "Can one laaa... don't worry!"

Seriously, these people.

I don't know if they're just being nice or they actually think that I "can one laaa".


And I am sort of stressed... but sort of not. Like I know I've still got fuckin shit loads to study but I just spent the last hour an a half on wedding dash.

Owh and while I'm practicing writing out my answers for Econs Unit 3 and 5 (I have not started on 6 HAHAHHA plan on cramming that whole unit in my few days of break), I tend to just stone there in the middle of writing and just... admire my own handwriting.

I am mesmerized by my own handwriting sometimes. It's so pretty and curlllyyyy. And so professional looking. HAHAHHAHAHA yes I know I'm going on about how fantastic my handwriting is... but really. Look for yourself:







My mom doesn't like it though. She said she prefers my std 1 writing when it was all fat and round, "like you!" she also added. =.=

That was some notes I scribbled down during one of Ms. Leong's econs classes so it isn't exactly my best handwriting, as Ms. Leong tends to explain stuff really fast and I had to keep up.



Right I should go study something now.

Discrete Random Variable

asdjksfljsdkfakjsksaasdjklasdjklasdjklfuckmepls.


I can't stop sneezing my throat hurts and I feel tired but can't sleep.


And I've a strong feeling that Stats 1 is not going to be kind to me later.


aaahhhhhhh I don't like probability aaahhhhhhhh cry cry cry I want my mummy or my babykins :(:(:(:(


And is it me, or is time passing quite slowly today?

I NEED TO MAKE TIME TO STUDY

Owhkay it's not that I have to make time, but rather I have to make USE of the time I have to study.


I've been taking things WAY too lightly I know that but WHY THE HELL AM I NOT FREAKING OUT YET bloody exams start in 17 days and I have 9 papers to study for even during SPM I started freaking out a month before the exam itself and right now I have barely a little more than two weeks and I'm IN THE HOLIDAY MOOD WTF fuck Christmas and New Year's and my birthday weiy I NEED TO START GETTING SERIOUS AAAAHHHHHHHHH eih? my hand is bleeding OMG WHY DO I GET DISTRACTED SO EASILY this sucks this really really sucks why did I take A levels again omg omg omg OMG OMG OMG omg omg omg and I SUCK in accounts what is it with me and doing things I hate during form 5 I told myself to never EVER take accounts again ever in my life and for some fucked up reason I went and signed up for it WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME LA every time daddy asks me if I have been studying I just automatically say yes I feel bad about that I do because he knows she knows you know and I know that I HAVE NOT BEEN DOING ANYTHING RELATED TO MY BLOODY STUDIES and I feel like going dancing hmmm OI FOCUS PLS LIM HWEE CHING aaaahhhhhhhhhhhh I need help. Srs. Btw "srs" is short for "serious", just in case some of you were wondering ha ha ha...







We prospered today!




Mr. Skinners took me to eat the Prosperity Burger at McD's (see baby you have to thank the Chinese for this, because if not for us there'd be no CNY and thus no orgasm inducing prosperity burgers) and then to Tesco to buy stuff for the Christmas eve dinner Jade and I are preparing.

We decided to do something different from the past two years; we've been clubbing the past two Christmases and so we decided to do something more conventional this year.

I hope it all works out though. =.=


Blah. Time to take a shower and get started on those econs past year papers.
I need those 3 A's!

OMG LAAAAA

Went for pedicure just now in the evening and then wore my new pretty shoes to Poppy and then came home and realized that my big toe nail colous is SMUDGE I'm DAMN SORE LOR mahai damn hungry.

I know karma's coming to pay me back

Mm. I damn lazy to type. So just pictures lah.

Went to Bar Club with Genevieve and her friends the previous Sat night.
Something about a full moon party, they had foam falling from the ceiling above the elevated dance floor.
Quite cool lah at first, then realized that it was slippery... yes, I fell. The bruise on my shin just below my knee has a diameter of 5cms I swear.






Yah I still damn camwhore




Genevieve and I with Justine and Catherine




Genevieve met this guy on FACEBOOK k and it was damn weird cos he was like just stoning on the dance floor haha but nice guy lah.






That's Gen's friend, Jonathan. He came to fetch me from my house.






Met these two fellars there again :)






The lights were so prettyy haha








Catherine and Justine









I know my face quite weird in some of the pics I think it's cos I can't really control my facial muscles when Im on alcohol HAHA! no lah that's bullshit I don't actually know why my expressions quite retarded in some of the pictures lol.


I'm damn tired. Went to MidValley and BV this morning to get my top and shoes (ended up not getting my shoes cos... sigh, don't wanna talk about it. I'm still damn broken hearted.) then had Econs class and then Moral Studies.
Woke up with a sore throat summore sigh.

I'm also damned frustrated cos there's this really good three part movie called The Lost Room and Daddy taped the first two episodes on Astromax but not the third cos it clashed with his golf competition =.= so I went to download the third part and was gonna burn it into a vcd so we could all watch but for some fuckshit reason my pc kept shutting down itself and my arsed burner takes FOREVER to encode the avi file and when it actually did manage to finish encoding and was ready to burn a window pops up telling me that my fucking cd doesn't have enough space IM DAMN FUCKING PISSED LOR.
Aish.


Went to Victoria Station for Daddy's birthday dinner just now.
Daddy is 54 today.

Took a picture, finally. The last picture my Mummy, Daddy and I actually took a picture together was when I was 6.
Yes, 6 years old. 12 years ago. Wtf right.

So yes, we took one just now and I looked damn fat. And Daddy looked retardedly happy. Mummy was pretty as usual.


And mahai I think I got the flu AGAIN I just recovered from it like last month (just realized I sent Aiman an sms with almost the exact same words haha) is my immunity THAT low?


Sigh. Hope Ms. Anu cancels accounts class tomorrow morning.
I need the extra sleep. Eih no, got C1 math test which I haven't exactly revised. =.=

Ish damn lazy. Serious.

I'm worth all the crap I put you through

Mahai I rotted at home the entire day.

Got up at 10 supposed to go to Curve with Leysh and Derrick to get Esther's birthday present ended up Derrick already got it himself so I got up so early for shits.

And then I couldn't go back to sleep.

Ish. So stone. Watch tv. Play my stupid hidden objects game (which is damn addictive I tell you). Watch Malcolm in The Middle. Sms Slimy. Tried to finish up Time Traveller's Wife (It's supposed to be very good but I don't know why I'm just not that into it). Fell asleep.

And that was my whole morning+afternoon. Now I'm trying to finish 16 mech questions on pulleys.

And now MSN's bloody pissing the shit outta me stupid messages cannot be delivered ARGH;LKAS;LSAKF;



Yay allowance.

Get nasty!

I have damn fricking a lot of homework weiy.
There's accounts, umpteen questions from c1, 5 ques from mech, and 4 ques from stats and err... owh crap I ponteng-ed econs class on Friday meaning I've to borrow Ms. Korea's notes to copy.
AAHHHHHH SO MUUCCHH WORRRKKK LAAZZZYYYYYYYYYYY.
And I'm feeling so worn out from the activities of the past two days; been out since I finished class at 12noon on Friday.

My undang test is tomorrow morning and I haven't even started reading a thing. Gah I wonder if it's too much to hope to pass...









I don't know what is it with me and studying.
It's really hard to get me to start, and it's even harder for me to keep concentrating... I keep getting distracted! =.=
I just started reading as I looked up and saw my camera sitting there and started taking pictures of myself.
Then I decided to post those pictures into my blog (hence the random pictures of myself ha ha), as well as update it.

And now I feel sleeepy... but I don't wanna fail! :(
So I shall stay awake long enough to read the notes he asked us to, and I'll do the questions tomorrow morning. Yes. Good idea.

Aaahhhh I haven't even washed my faaccceee....









Gah owhkay STUDY!

I'm longing for words to describe how I'm feeling

My first day of college is starting tomorrow, and I'm so dreading it.
I hate first days. Like, the first day of piano classes, first day of kindergarten, first day of primary school, first day of secondary school.. and now first day of college.
First days remind a lot of my younger, gawkier days.
The whole awkward make-new-friends phase, get-used-to-new-surroundings-phase... I do NOT like change.


Btw, May's selling off some of her damned nice tops for frickin cheap prices (at around RM20 to 25. Only one top is RM35.) so go grab them before they get sold out!
Most of the stuff are only worn once or never worn at all.

so CLICK!


Anyway, went for a omg-I-haven't-seen-you-in-God-knows-how-long-we-MUST-catch-up dinner with Serena, my neighbour and ex-golf kaki.

Ex-golf kaki cos I stopped playing golf haha.

We had dinner at Bella Roma, this Italian restaurant down at Damansara Perdana.
I love talking to this girl cos she always has a different view on things; she always gives me something to think about.
And most importantly, she gives me perspective.
That night... I saw everything I didn't see; about everything.
About the guy I'm obsessed over, about my studies, about my dad....
But this doesn't mean I'm not having any trouble accepting all of it.
But at the very least... I see things more clearly now, and in a better view.


We had soups for starters.
Serena found a piece of plastic in her pumpkin soup. I started laughing when she showed the piece of plastic to me; I don't know why I found it so amusing. =.=
The pumpkin soup was really bland, so don't have that if you decide to go there; unless you like bland food la then go ahead haha.

My fungi soup was alright. It wasn't creamy enough... but it was alright.

So anyway, we got a complimentary salad and free desert because of that HAHA!
I'm glad we had the free desert because the tiramisu that we had was ORGASMIC.
The BEST part of dinner that night.
The first taste left me feeling high up in the clouds and making disturbing moans.

We headed to Laundry for a few drinks after that.

Owh yeah, when we were leaving the restaurant, I slipped and fell down on the tiles outside.
It was raining and all. I turned around and saw a couple of guys in a grocery store laughing at me ha ha. Fucking embarrassing. Well not like it's the first time. =.=

I'm so bloody prone to falling down stairs la gah.
This is like the 6th time I have fallen down in public in the past 4 months!






The bland pumpkin soup with a piece of plastic in it haha!




Fungi soup




Complimentary salad




Serena's
Some pasta thing with cream tomato sauce with fresh basils and lamb. I don't remember the name of this dish.




Mine
Risotto. Not very good.




ORGASMIC TIRAMISU




Do you see the S and the C in the cocoa powder? :D



Then off to Laundry...





Chemicals
So pretty la; colourful!
NOW YOU SEE IT




NOW YOU DON'T!
Ha ha owhkay lame.




Serena and I






Yes I am a lobster




Round two

I died after round two. =.= Couldn't stand up.
WTF RIGHT. I didn't know my tolerance for alcohol was THAT low...






I'm so self-obsessed that even in my drunken stupor I still managed to take pictures of myself. =.=



Mmm so that was the last time I went drinking before my first day of college.
Gah first day of college. =.=

Banging on a heart of tin

I hate having no credit.

I hate feeling restless.

I hate having no mood to study when SPM is so bloody near and all my other friends are studying their asses off haha

I hate not having a proper home cooked dinner cos now I'm not having enough veggies and my bowel movement has not been smooth (haha bet you didn't wanna know that..)

I hate that my mommy is only coming back late tonight cos I want her here now now now nowwww :(

I hate not having transport anywhere.

I hate that our Nostalgia's are only coming out this Friday.
Why can't they release it on Monday la? I want to blame someone.


And I hate that there's nothing I hate anymore cos now I've to go back to forcing myself to study ha ha ha



:(

Will I be as lucky?

Omg. There's only 6 weeks left, 5 weeks and 6days to be exact.
Time to bloody freak out lor serioussllyyyy.

It's time to forgo everything for just 2months.
I don't want to be regretting... I HATE regrets.
Lord knows I've enough of regret to last me 2 lifetimes ha ha..


McD's buffet tonight.
I honestly don't care about getting fatter right now.

Tonight you're mine... completely.

Just finished watching the first ep of Grey's Anatomy season 4.
And I swear, if Derek falls for Lexie Grey I am SO not watching anymore.

Terry promised to give us RM50 if we can complete a whole book of form 4 past year questions by Sunday.
I've still 1/4 of it to go.
What do you think are the odds of me actually completing the entire thing by 12 noon on Sunday?
My differentiation chapter is 3/4 empty. Haha.

I wanna go for McD's buffet tomorrow.
Was originally supposed to go with Dina and MayMay and Xin but now it appears we're not anymore, then I smsed Curly to see if he wants to go (it's buka puasa time) and he didn't reply.
So.... anyone wanna go with me? Anyone? Anyone at all? *cricket sounds*
:(

I wonder if I'll be able to let go (yes it's the whole 'letting go' crap again, no I'm not over it yet) when the time comes.
These are futile attempts, I know, but perhaps... just perhaps, they might work?
Haha I know I'll read these posts once again and not even understand myself.

I've just realized that Grey's Anatomy is too damn drama for me.
May it's cos I can relate to some of the issues portrayed in that series...

I need to be rich or marry a rich guy when I come of age.
I just can't stop spending...



I think I really AM blowing everything out of proportion.

Paranoia

I've been feeling quite... emo and jittery these past two days.
And the thing is, I don't even know why!
It's like I'm anxious about something, but I don't even know what I'm anxious about.

I can't seem to shirk this feeling of... dread.
Like I am mourning ahead for something bad that's gonna happen.
Is this an omen?


***


Despite my sudden, weird paranoia I went out to have dimsum for breakfast anyway.
But ever since I came back... the feeling has increased, somewhat.
I feel so, so anxious. =/

OVER WHAT?? =.=









Yau Sueenn




Our driver




My retarded bestfriend and I



Ugh God, I hate frayed nerves.
And the best part is that I'm fretting about practically nothing.



I hope I'm not blowing everything out of proportion again.

Pay attention, God-frickin-damnit!

I think Sejarah would be so much easier to study if it were in English.
Sigh. I can't seem to just read, and not have my mind wander off elsewhere.

I feel so guilty. I know I did shit in my trials and yet I'm going out tomorrow.
I feel as if I should be punished. Haha... I guess I would, when my results come back. GG la.

My countdown timer says that there's only 74 days to SPM.
That's... not many days left.
I just don't understand myself. I fret about it almost every hour but yet am doing nothing about it.
Except whine... and whine some more.


Hehehehe omg going out tomorrow and fireworks! I LOVE fireworks!
Yeah, it's only dinner at the Curve but heck, due to my absurd 10.30pm curfew and the fact that tomorrow's Merdeka eve, Curve is pretty much my best and only choice of venue.


... OMG YOU SEE! THAT'S HOW BLOODY SHORT MY ATTENTION SPAN IS!
I was fretting about bloody SPM for like a moment and then I'm thinking of going out and having a good time the very next moment I am hopeless la HOPELESS.

Yeah I know my sentence was arranged incorrectly but sigh... Sej test tomorrow.
I know it's only paper I, but still. I'm the kind of person who gets 18/40 for Sejarah paper I's.

Gosh selltrade KL is making me broke. There's this new store at The Curve I don't know what's it called but the clothes are pretty nice...


A;LKDLSKJFLKAJDALJK SPM LA MAAAHHHAAAIII.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Edit.
12.33am



HAH. 17 DOWN, 19 MORE TO GO.


;LAK;LAK;FLKDSFJSKLJA;SKF;'sd'as gg la.


Omgomghungrycannotfail:(



***



I am feeling so angry.
My head is aching like a bloody bitch la omg.
And I've got 36, no 35 nilais to memorize for Moral.
I can only remember the first one.
Kepercayaan kepada Tuhan ha ha ha.

Yes la there's only 36 nilais to memorize and I can't even do that and even if I could I can't apply them properly cos I'm STUPID thanks Aiman.

I hate you laaaaaaa. You think you very smart ar stupid anorexic curly haired boy :(:(:(

OWHKAY CANNOT FAIL MORAL AGAIN!

Zoooommmbiiieeeeeee

I feel half dead.
I'm not even gonna bother wearing my contacts.

I'm gonna fail all of my subjects ha ha ha....


I wanna go back to sleep.

He says all the right things, at exactly the right time. But he means nothing to you and you don't know why.

Edit.
7.07pm


This is gay.
I can't seem to just sit down, and fuh-rick-in STUDY!
I get distracted SO easily. =/
Not to mention that I also get disheartened easily.
Like I just spent a half hour looking for the modal akhir and no matter what I add or subtract the answer is never correct!
A;SLDKS;F;SALDFLK;S;LASK';A'DFLJK;LDFLKFL;SDZK MAAAHAAAIIII.

I hate accounts la.... I seriously... omgggggggg.

I swear to the heavens above I am not gonna have anything to do with accounts after SPM.
Fuck weiy, I'd rather take history as a subject uring my A levels next year than fucken accounts GAH!


I want to cry.



***

You scored as French/Spanish/OtherLanguage, You should strongly consider majoring (or minoring) in a foreign language, especially French or Spanish as they have a greater use in today's world. But other languages could be useful to you as well, such as Chinese, Japanese, German, Italian, or many others. With a major in a foreign language you could teach, or work for a company as a translator or foreign correspondant. It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it. Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. A minor in a foriegn language is useful for ANY major. Also, business or political science are great minors for a foreign language major. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal. Visual&PerformingArts 88% French/Spanish/OtherLanguage 88% History/Anthropology/LiberalArts 81% Psychology/Sociology 81% Accounting/Finance/Marketing 75% English/Journalism/Comm 75% Religion/Theology 75% Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health 69% HR/BusinessManagement 69% Education/Counseling 63% PoliticalScience/Philosophy 50% Mathematics/Statistics 44% Biology/Chemistry/Geology 44% Physics/Engineering/Computer 38% WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU? created with QuizFarm.com

Found this at Sam's blog.
Well, at least I wasn't wrong about what I want to major in later on.

Hmm.. performing arts... Haha.

We can start this over

There's a huge pimple on the left side of my mouth.
I wonder whether it's from exam stress or the mass amount of rubbish I've been stuffing myself with haha....

It hurts. :(


I've been going on an anime rampage these past few days.
One would think that I'd put my head down and really get going with the books seeing as how trials are less than a week away.
But apparently not.
Instead, I've been searching all my trackers for a few of my old anime series' which I'd stopped watching cos the subbing was so slow and ended up picking up a new series in the process.

Champion la, I can now say goodbye to my future. *waves*

And this Monday, Hong and I are gonna catch The Simpsons at 1U and go for cheese baked rice at Wong Kok.

Hahahahahhahaha GG laaaaaa.

Next Tuesday is going to kill me: Accs II and Sej II on the same fucking day. =.=

I can't frickin do accounts to save my frickin life laaaa hooowwwwwwww.

And then there's BM II and Econs II the next day.
If Tuesday didn't already kill me then this would be the coup de grace.

I am so done for.....

Here comes my baby..

Haha so Aiman Fairuz and I are going to this Blogger's gathering and I just finished dolling up and am now sitting in my aircond room trying to cool my face cos for some reason it's damn hot and therefore is damn red I look like a lobster.

I am damn hungry lor I hope the food there is yummy :(

Duuduudeeedeeedduuummdummmdididididididiiiiiiiii~
Lalalalalulululululililililiololoololoolololalalalalalalalalal~

Hmmm so much time to kill where is Aiman laaaa :( yay Jia Wen's gonna be there too and she's also hungry we are really hungry and blah I no likey waiting omg my SPM countdown says there's only 114 days to SPM hahahhaha asdlkas;lkdak;LAD';LASD GG lor mmmm I wonder if my mommy's home yet I hope my daddy doesn't ask why I'm leaving so late haha gah this is gibberish nonsense I like Bailey's! my hair is so kembang right now but I don't wanna use cream to flatten it cos it'll look like really flat then and I don't like so hmmm wah my eyes damn dry they're gonna be red soon :(

Mmmm I wonder if Jia Wen's there yet.

I feel like eating McD's. Owh owh! Machi bought me an egg today.
A raw egg. Like, a 30cent raw egg.
What do I do with it?

Ahhhhh my eyes are red already eyeedroooppssssssss



OMG Aiman's here yay! :D

With me... eternally.

***


Trials are in exactly a month, and I've been looking for more distractions.


No one can help me now.