In Dire Straits.

Edit.


They say that there is a silver lining at every dark cloud.



I've been surrounded by a dark cloud these past few months,
and although there's suppose to be a silver lining here somewhere,
I don't see it.
I'm not the type to complain on how pathetic my life is publicly,
but I currently feel as if I have no one to turn to.
So much regret and dissapointment have been piled on me lately,
I don't know how long more it'll take before I crumble.

It was raining hard with a huge thunderstorm just now.
And everytime that happens, I have to shut down the whole house's power system
so nothing would get destroyed by the lightning.
Normally Dad would be home, and he'd do it, and I wudn't be alone waiting in the semi darkness.
But this time.. I was all alone, lying on the couch,
waiting for the storm to lift.
The thunder was horrifying.
The lightning which streaked the sky litted it up like it was morning.
And when the climax of the storm brew;
the lightning brighter than ever,
and the sound of thunder reverberating at its loudest through this part of the Earth,
I realized, that I was on my own.
And that I would be the one person, whom I could turn to no matter when or where.
The one person who is going to help myself pull through everything.
Everything.
I finally realized that when failure descends upon you,
weighing you down,
all you can do is swallow it, fuck it, and get back up again.




A silver lining at every dark cloud?
I wonder.
Perhaps.

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Shitty. The perfect word to describe my day.
I'm suddenly finding myself wishing the boil in my eye hadn't subsided so I wouldn't have had to go to school today to face so much shit.
I was sms-ing my transport lady to come pick me up after school,
and Norita had seen me "in the action" from all the way infront. (I sit quite far back)
I don't really blame Norita from taking it from me,
cos I kinda got caught before but at that time I was playing with Machi's phone.
She'd given me a warning and given back my phone.
But this time.. sigh.
GAH.
Shitty.
And Hamizan.. God, I wanna kill her.
But nah, I think all the shit she uses on her face will probably do it for me one day.
I swear the foundation on her face is at least 1cm thick.
She didn't have to be such a bitch. :(
Yeah yeah I know I kinda deserve it, as we all know that handphones aren't allowed,
what more sms-ing in class.
But still! There are SO many other people who sms all day long in class and don't get caught.
I, on the other hand, who was sms-ing her transport lady to come pick her up after school gets caught.
WTF? Where's the justice in that? >:'(

If I had an extra phone at home, I wouldn't be so frustrated now.
The problem is that I don't have an extra.
My handphone is like a part of my body,
I can't live without it!
And so far there's no one who has an extra phone/old phone to lend me.
I am, yes, in dire straits! And to top off the cake with icing,
its the frickin holidays! How am I going to live without my phone during the hols?
Gosh I sound damned bimbo, but I am as serious as the sky is blue.
I am desperate. :'(

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On a lighter note, its mum's birthday today. :)
She's old. Haha :D
I love my mummy.