A spoon of sugar, sweetens up

While I was in the shower just a while ago, I had this paranoid thought that I would not be let back into the country (UK) because I overworked one month. And now I'm freaking out HAHA. Ok like Im seriously freaking out.

It would really suck if that happened... like, REALLY suck.

Random thought

You know that email/blog posts about a research done by this person, where s/he asked a bunch of little kids what they thought love was, and they came up with all kinds of cute answers?

After I read that post (a few times) I always asked myself the same question: What do I think is love?

And whilst watching this Jap drama, which was completely unrelated to what suddenly popped into my head, I suddenly remembered something that had happened maybe two or three years ago.

So... I now know what my answer would be; what I think love is.

Love is when a man steps into a pool of urine on the bathroom floor, picks up his wife who has passed out into his arms and carries her out the bathroom to the doctor's.

Reminders

1. Call up the stationery supplier and order stationery
(a) Files
(b) Paper Clips
(c) Marker ink refills

2. Take out the trash

3. Stop fretting about my results. I didn't start studying early enough, and I ain't that smart. SO STOP FRETTING.

4. If my results are crappy, don't be too disappointed. It was to be expected.

5. Start planning after getting results. No time to lose.



Sigh.

CAN YOU PUT THE PAST AWAY WISH YOU WOULD STEP BACK FROM THAT LEDGE MY FRIEND

The title is in caps because I am singing this song at the top of my lungs at Terry's place.
I think the Kian Huat aunty is going to come upstairs and ask me what's going on soon HAHA.

Hmmm I should blog. Since there is now wi-fi at Terry's place, and at certain hours I do have some free time. Just SOME. You know? Like a little. (just in case, Terry - who is the boss of me, finds my blog hahaha though I doubt so hehe)

Alright, soon! And I shall change this blogskin as well getting a bit boring. Actually no Im not bored of it cos I haven't come to my own blog in a long long while HAHAHA it's like I've been evading life working 2 jobs and trying to have a social life (I use the word 'try' because right now I'm kind of like a hermit) really doesn't give you much time to sit down and think because all the other free time I have when Im not working or going out with friends or hanging out with Aiman is used for sleeping and I suppose when I say I'm 'evading life' I suppose I've been putting off thinking about the more important things like the future I've just been focusing on right now like getting a new phone cos I lost my old one =.= and my camera has finally spoiled so I have nothing to take pictures with anymore and I suppose it's time I sat down and thought about what Im going to do with my life instead of typing out all this crap when I should be working haha.




I shall blog tomorrow. And go on a diet. And exercise more. And stop complaining.

Owhkay this is crap.

I've been in this bloody library for 3 hours, and have not done much studying.

I need help with stats 2, and I can't stop thinking of mashed potatoes.


Can you imagine? Constantly thinking of mashed potatoes? It's KILLING ME.

Mmm declining terms of trade... more imports to buy the same amount of exports... maybe I should go down and have some mashed potatoes... nono it's more exports to buy the same amount of imports... due to low income elasticity... mashed potatoes... wtf? owhkay owhkay errr... right, fluctuating prices of primary products... are the instant mashed potatoes unhealthy? owh right barriers to trade... most countries have significant barriers to trade for their own agricultural products so even exporting is difficult... what happened if I press button 3 on the instant mashed potato machine? BLAH WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

It's like my mind is another person. I just keep thinking of bloody mashed potatoes!


This is NOT going well. Econs mocks are on friday, and I can't seem to practice writing out my answers properly without some sort of distraction whether external or internal (HAH!).


Think I'm just going to screw this and go have some mashed potatoes.

有些愛只給到這真的痛了

[12/11/08] Jay Chou bags hat-trick of World Music Awards

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jay Chou bags hat-trick of World Music Awards

Source: Channel NewsAsia
Credit: noreen (www.jay-chou.net)

The World Music Awards was held in Morocco's Monte Carlo recently. This prestigious annual event attracted numerous Western big name stars such as Beyonce and Mariah Carey.

And Taiwanese pop star Jay Chou became the biggest winner of this year's award by once again bagging the best selling album for the China region.

The World Music Awards is currently the only Award in the world that gives recognition to artists based on their album sales. Jay Chou performed exceptional well this year with his cowboy album "I Am Busy". Therefore it came as no surprise that Jay was announced the winner yet again.

This is the fourth time that the talented song writer snapped up this prestigious award. Impressively, by bagging this year's award, Jay also achieved a unique hat-trick of titles in this Award. He had previously won it in 2004, 2006 and 2007.

In the process, Jay also managed eclipsed Hong Kong's "God of Song" Jacky Cheung's record of two consecutive awards.

Jacky was given the award in 1995 and 1996.

Note: 2004 (Qi Li Xiang), 2006 & 2007 (Still Fantasy) and 2008 (I Am Busy). Congrats Jay! Next year, Capricorn!

Coming back to Penang really helps me get in touch with my chinese (lala, as Aiman and May would put it) self.

The past two days have been a whole process of rekindling love for my husband-






*SWOONS*



I purposely chose an act cute picture of him so as to send Aiman (or any of those people who think he's "lala") into a heart attack.


He just came up with yet another new album, which I am ashamed to say I did not know about till I came back here.

My top two favourite tracks from this new album would be 説好的幸福呢? , and 蘭亭序.

I say top two favorite, because I like ALL his songs. Hehehe.
There's none that I would mind listening to over and over again aaahhhhh he is a GOD I tell you. A GOD.


So for all the Jay fans who read my blog and the non-believers, please do listen:











I'll put a playlist in my sidebar so you can listen to his entire album there!
SPREAD THE LOOVEE!



x






14th Oct - 14th Nov




Right after that, we fought. Haha.

When I was a child, even now actually, my dad always told me that I had a penchant for getting very carried away.
And when I get carried away; I stop thinking, stop keeping myself in check.

This enitre month I've been on a I-love-my-boyfriend high.

So much so, I got carried away.

I got clingy, am still clingy... and I don't like it. Not one bit.

When we started I told myself that I will not repeat the same mistakes, one of them being clingy.


Because right now, I know I've said this a few times already-


I feel so vulnerable. In fact, I AM vulnerable.

Extremely so.


I don't like fighting, I'm still worn out from last night.



So... what I'm trying to say is, from now on, I won't get carried away anymore.

I'll keep myself in check.

Happy 1st Month, Curlykins.

We'll take one step at a time; there's no need to rush, it's like learning to fly. Or... falling inlove.

Owhkay yes so there have been a lack of updates.

I've just been caught up with so many things.

TOO many things, so much so I've been neglecting the really important shit (SAT test in about 2 weeks, 9 papers to study for for my Jan exam FUCK)

And I haven't been doing anything happening lah.

Omg come to think of it I haven't went partying for a long... long time.

Mmm must make it a point to.



And I can't believe I'm feeling this way, again.

Kind of.

In college library right now.


Supposed to be studying.


I'm damn sleepy.


And broke. RM3 left in my pretty Cambodian silk purse.


I don't know what the holy mother is going on in all my subjects.


Parent Lecturer Meeting this Sat fuck.


Accounts mock results going to be given to my mom. Fuck fuck fuck.


I'm still damn sleepy.


Malaysian Studies presentation later. Damn lazy.


Stupid facebook poker not loading.


Dad said he burnt my hard drive this morning, hope to God it isn't true.


I wouldn't mind a new hard drive. Current one is so ancient.


And it lags. Zzzz


Classes straight till 6.30pm. But I skipped Stats la.


To study. Ha ha.


Ooowhkaay should be studying...


MAHAI DAMN LAZY!

Is it over, now?

An hour ago, I woke from a dream-filled sleep.
My sleep was filled with random scenes in college, movie days in 1U, Adam, movie days in Cineleisure, Wai Chuen...


But I feel.. alright.



Like last night's events really were just a... bad dream.


My eyes are still double lidded despite my long emotional let-out from a few hours ago, and I feel... light.


Like nothing really happened.





But if nothing happened last night;



Why do I feel so... numb?

I am dying

I. Can't. Stop. Buying. Clothes.


Especially Maxi dresses.
Im going crazy here lkajd;akd';aslf;ALDsdl;fkskfjal;KJKLX;l;ALKDSADLFskdjksljfslkjfsdkj


And broke. Yes. SOMEBODY SAVE ME

So, pick me. Choose me. Love me.

Mmm. I am finally coming home tomorrow night.
I've missed my bathroom and my room so so much (no, I do not miss my window, Slimy).
So much for thinking of completing all my math homework on this trip. I barely even did half of it. =.=
What mother always tells me is true, every bone is my body is a lazy one.
I think I've put on quite some weight just sitting here infront of the desktop and lazing around on the bed reading the entire time I've been here.
I SWEAR my ass has gotten bigger.
And my tummy... don't get me started.

I was reading an article on the 7 deadly sins.

And I thought to put in order starting from the sin that I least commonly commit to the one that I most commonly commit.


7. Sloth
6. Envy
5. Greed
4. Pride
3. Lust
2. Wrath
1. Gluttony


Yes, my number 1 sin would be gluttony. I LOVE food. I definitely live to eat.
And I hate being fat too, but not enough to stop me eating the way I do.

I need to take up some sort of sport before I really become a real beached whale.

Anyone wanna go jogging with me on Monday and Thursday mornings? Cos my classes only start at 10 on those days haha.

And sigh, I've been plagued with the too-much-time-and-nothing-to-do syndrome so much so my mind has been running wild.
I've been thinking so much about everything that I've become so overly sensitive and I almost did a lot of silly things which I would later regret. Almost, thankfully.


Ah, one more night. Just one more night and I'll be home where I belong.

Now I know I've got to run away; I've got to get away...

Life has been BORING.
Same old shit everyday (with very minor variations): wake up, college, evening nap (sometimes I do homework at this time =.= ), homework and poker (poker is more of a bonding time for baby and I), sleep and then repeat cycle.

Then the weekend comes along.
Same thing with same people.
Sigh. I need some excitement.







Dina got UWC; Armand-Hammer, New Mexico, USA.
I am SO proud of her. I knew she'd get it when she told me she applied.
I do admit that I am envious too.
She'll be gone in August... soon, very soon.
Time is running out.

Slimy asked me to do this personality test, and it put me in this category which tells me more about my personality.
Everything that's written there... so fucking true man.
So true it's scary.
After you've been categorized, go to http://www.personalitypage.com/
to find out more about your category.
Tells you many things you never really noticed about yourself.
And also things which you've been trying to deny. Damn cool.

It also recommends careers which suit your character, and all the careers recommended to me are not what I'm studying to be right now.
Nothing. Nada.
The first one recommended was performing arts.
Which tells me that I should be taking Eng Lit instead of frickin Further Math...







Sigh. So many bad decisions. I don't even know exactly what I should do right now.
Drop further math? Or go on with it? Take it till I can't take it anymore?
Sigh.


Sigh.








My eyebrows need to be shaped.
And I need to stop waiting for people who don't even know I'm waiting for them.

If you don't shoot it, how am I supposed to hold it?

I set my iTunes on shuffle yesterday night, and this song played.
It's one of those songs which I downloaded like 983739847 years ago but never really bothered listening to it.
I have a lot of songs like that, cos when I like one song from a band/singer I download a few of their tunes to listen to, and usually don't have the patience to listen to all of them. =.=

So anyway, my iTunes shuffled to Damien Rice's 9 Crimes.
I never knew I had such a good emo song man.
I was skeptical about Damien Rice cos his songs aren't usually like the mainstream shit (haha yes I think it's shit but I like it except Simple Plan omg hate Simple Plan) I listen to.
Anyway, if any of you haven't heard of this song (I doubt so la haha quite old already) go download.

Tonight I was supposed to go partying with my college friends (thus marking the end of all my shitty loser nights) BUT I CAME DOWN WITH A FEVER YESTERDAY mahai.
Super soredog.

So I was thinking of doing homework cos I got DAMNED a lot of it but damn lazy.
I've been sitting here in front of my com since 8.30 til now.
Sigh... damn stone. Nothing to do (besides homework). I feel as if my tummy got even bigger from sitting here since after dinner not budging.
I'm rotting laaaa omg.

And I want McD's breakfast sigh... you'd think that I'd have McD's a lot since there's a McD's at college but I only had it once since I started March 24th.


And when is my period gonna come laaa enough of pms lor JUST COME ALREADY DAMNIT!

And I'm so glad my econs lecturer is gna be replaced soon I get SO annoyed when she calls me LIM I mean you'd think she's all chinese educated that having to pronounce a Chinese name would be easier all but noooooo Hwee Ching is too difficult a chinese name to remember so LIM it is!
Gah. Confinement on a Friday night when I should be partying is killing me.

I knew that the lights of the city were too heavy for me

My dad quite emo.
I told him I was going to be back abt 9 or so, but I should have anticipated the peak hour jam la. =.= Sigh I'm so un-streetwise.
And we couldn't find the bloody bank so I called up to tell him I'll be late.
He was like "owhkay take care of yourself k" but I should've known he'd be quite emo la.
I feel guilty haha..

I googled Bank Pertanian Malaysia to find the nearest one around, cos I don't see ANY Bank Pertanians around. Should've asked Fairuz from the beginning...
Anyway, I googled and found one in Taman Sea. SS23/15.

So I got Aiman to take me there... we went round and round but no fucking farmer's bank I was damn emo.
Then after a few calls all Aiman took me to the Subang one to withdraw my money.
I don't know what I'd do without that skinny tapeworm slimy boy la.
I didn't actually want to ask him to take me all the way to Subang but I really needed my money and he offered la anyway... HEHEHEHE I LOVE YOU LAAAA SLIIIMMYYY. :) :) :)

Dina came with us too and we had quite an overpriced dinner at Dharoos.
Even mamaks are getting expensive man.
My dinner was like 8.70 just for nasi goreng ayam and bandung.
Jelutong it'd only be like 6 bucks.. mmm cut throat. :(






Banana Fritters


I really need to start controlling my spending.
If I continue like this I'm gonna be in debt when I get older and that is gonna suck.
Have to start working on keeping my money from going out mann... and I keep feeling sleepy WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I slept 2 hours in the evening before going out on a road trip to look for farmer's bank and now I'm feeling sleepy AGAIN.
I need to exercise. I look like Im 6 months pregnant sigh.


And I SUCK at mechanics and it's only the basic of the basic right now and I can't even do this HOW THE HELL AM I GONNA COPE??

I should quit being a hero and just drop it.


Yes, I should.


And I've been thinking; what is it with us girls that makes us so weak?
I know SO many girls who are being treated like shit in their relationships but they still hang on to those guys.
They want to let go, but yet they can't. And then they end up holding on for years.. myself included.
Some don't even acknowledge that their boyfriend's an asshole.
A lot of us girls keep talking strong and stuff, but when the time comes, WILL we be as strong as we said we would?
Many of us say things like "if he lies to me multiple times Im just gonna leave him, so not worth my time" or "If he's not treating me well, I'll just end it"or "How can those girls STAND that kind of attitude? If it were me I'd have dumped him a LONG time ago" and everything else along the same lines;

but when they themselves (me included) are in this kind of more-hurt-than-it's-worth relationships, they become weak.
They gather up the courage to walk away, but yet keep turning back.
Why are we like that?

We KNOW that we're just gonna get hurt further but we still hold on.
We KNOW that they're not worth us but we still try to accept the shit they throw at us.

And why? All because we're too attached... some may use the term too "inlove".

I wonder if guys actually go through this kinda shit too.


I hope they do. =P

Cos I'd give you my heart, if you'd let me start all over again.

My life currently revolves around my homework, and my social life is quite non existent during the weekdays.

Dina calls it, the First-Two-Weeks-of-College Syndrome (FTWC).


What is FTWC, you ask?
Mmm well, lemme explain.


The symptoms of this syndrome are:

1. You NEVER wanna be late for any class.
2. You wanna wear something different to class everyday.
3. You pay attention in class (some even sit right in the front row)
4. You finish ALL your homework ON TIME and SELF-DONE.



Many go through this syndrome for a period of two weeks and then it will slowly start to wear off; like they stop caring what they wear to classes anymore, they start sitting in the back of class and not paying much attention and who cares about doing homework and being on time anyway.

Yes. I am going through FTWC right now.

I've successfully worn a different outfit to college since I started last Monday.
I've not been late even once.
I've been sitting in the front row with my Korean friend and actually paying attention. My old friends know I NEVER do that. (If I was ever in the front row in secondary school was cos the teacher probably got pissed at me and forced me to sit in front)
Last but not least... I've been finishing all my exercises. ALL. (haha I remember the times when the first thing I'd do upon arrival in class was AMELIA/SING RU I NEED YOUR HOMEWORK! Ah... secondary school days. I do miss it.)

Actually, I'm dreading the time when FTWC wears off.
The past two weeks I've felt like someone new, responsible and may actually have a shot in scoring in my finals come next June if this continues.
I want the part where I wanna wear something different to college everyday to wear off la, cos I absolutely despise thinking abt what to wear in the mornings after getting up; it's like I want to not care about what I wear but I care anyway. You know?
Mmm I miss my very figure-unflattering uniforms. :(


Anyway, change of subject.

While doing my core math homework just now I got bored, so I went on facebook awhile. (haha yes my attention span is VERY short)

Was scrolling through my profile page briefly when my ex-boyfriends name caught my attention.
I clicked.

His primary display picture was of him holding an adorable little boy who had a huge smile on his face.
Well, let me just say that I think I'm going through PMS now (easily angered and annoyed and irritated, been going on an eating marathon the past two days) so I did something quite childish.


I wrote on his wall: Whose cute kid is that? YOURS? HAHAHAHAHAHA


What I was trying to imply to him was that he knocked up some chic and had a kid.
It was a sarcastic remark; I thought it quite obvious!
But instead,

He replied me this: haha... super adorable lo.. xD how i wish it was mine le... but nope nope... its my cousin's sister punya anak... always bully me to buy stuff for him wan....


Sigh. Daft. =.=

It's no wonder I look for brains in a guy now.
Not his parents' money, not his car (but it would be really convenient.. HAHA), not his social standing and definitely NOT cos he looks good.


Haha owhkay perhaps it's quite mean for me to diss him publicly in my blog but I don't think you people know whom Im speaking of anyway (if you do just pretend you don't la k haha) so no biggie!
Besides, he doesn't read my blog anyway.
Let me be a little more bolder and say that he probably doesn't like reading or maybe he CAN'T read... owhkay fine that was the bitter part of me speaking.


Eiiih cooool the sky is now a shade of amber! My whole room is filled with an orange light...


Anyway where was I? Right. The bitter part.
It's not that I'm not over him and the bitterness already, just that sometimes I can't resist allowing myself to feel a little resentment towards him.
You know, I think a girl never stops hating the guy whom she once loved who dumped her.
Even though the circumstances at the time may have been a two-sided thing; meaning both were responsible for the break up, a girl forgets her pain mostly by hating and blaming the guy completely. It's way better than thinking of the good times and trying to treat him as a good friend because that we're-good-friends-shit will never happen. So let's not be delusional, shall we?

And somehow I think a little of that hate stays even after a lengthy period of time.

Hence, my sudden urge to write my ex-boyfriend a sarcastic remark on his facebook wall.

Which he didn't even understand. =.=


Mmm... now the sky is a strange hue of purple; violet, I think.



Pretty.

I've got that boomboom

Think I've got a fever.
It's like all the blood in my body's rushing up to my head; even my eyes are blood shot..
It's been like that since 10 something but I've been playing poker on facebook while wearing my beret ha ha ha...

I'm still wearing my beret and looking like a retard but whatever la owhkay.


Good luck to those going for NS second batch tomorrow.
I sure hope you guys enjoyed it more than I did.

Not that I didn't enjoy NS; I just think it wasn't that fun.
It wasn't unbearable... but it wasn't that fun.

I'm still wearing my beret.


May and I went to watch Spiderwick Chronicles a few days ago; I don't remember my memory's all fuzzy right now I think it's too much blood in my head.

I did not slim down after NS, my tummy still looks as if I've a 4 month old foetus in it.
But my mother says I'm toner... ?
Haha GG.

Gah I've got so much forms to fill out, essays to write.
I'm so lazyy...

And Curly boy is coming home tomorrow yay!


Do you think I'm boring?
Cos I think I'm boring. I keep writing about the same things, posting up pictures of the things I do which is damned similar each time and repeating the same routine all the time...
Even if I may not bore you, I'm sure boring myself man.


And omg I'm such a bad friend.
I was chatting with MayMay at McD's when we were talking abt squeezing blackheads and stuff and then she said she missed Jonathan and I was like where's Jonathan I haven't seen him at all and she was like JONATHAN'S WENT TO UK TO STUDY ALREADY LA DEAR and I was like WTF then MayMay said remember that bbq thing he had the day before you went to NS that was like a farewell bbq thing and I just stoned.

Sigh. I didn't even say goodbye to Jonathan.
I hope he's happy there, I hope he still thinks about his tai bo ching (I do NOT like that name it's just... Jon used to call me that and it pissed me off EVERY TIME I miss that short fuck laaaaa) :(:(:(

Does anyone know when he's coming back to visit? :(

Other than that I'm also quite emo about other things so I've been downloading a whole bunch of cry movies and series' like JoyLuck Club and Meteor Garden (do NOT judge me) to cry over.

I don't know whether I've mentioned this before but a good way to let out all that pent up emotion and still be in denial is by watching cry movies and series'; that was you can let out everything, and still not admit anything is wrong when everything IS kinda wrong.
Get me?

Try it.


Nyeh. Pictures.



WTF? still haven't upload finish omg fuck slooowww.



dudududududu.



lalalalalalalalala



dududududulalalalalalalala



duladuladuladuladuladula




Did you know Shinchan in Malay is Dik Cerdas? HAHAHAHAHHAHAAH I KNOW QUITE HILARIOUS RIGHT!



Smart Dick hahahhahahahahahahahahhaha





OWHKAY PICTURES.






Baby, I and a turtle










We think we're cute ha ha






Unleash the lalaness




Oooh yessss




Uhuhh summoorrreee




Er, you can go all the way by yourself May ha ha ha... =P




Hahhahaha no one wanna teman her be lala hahahhahahha




Owhkay la friend la friend la...




Then the retarded-ness set in..




Yes. Absolute retardedness.




Owhkay I think I need to lie down now...

Illusion never changed into something real

Mmm yes so I haven't been blogging often.
I know you read this a lot in many other people's blog which were abandoned/deleted shortly after that.
But rest assured my blog will not be abandoned/deleted when I say; I think I've lost my blogging mojo.

Owhkay fine some of your are probably exclaiming vehemently, "WHAT MOJO? SHE NEVER HAD ONE IN THE FIRST PLACE!"
So I'll rephrase and say that I think I've lost the urge to blog. For now.

There are quite some things I did want to blog about but somehow can't really remember what they are...

So just now I spilled a whole pot of soup.
When I heard the clash of the metal against the thermoplastic of my refrigerator my gaze flickered to the noise and I saw my mum's favourite black pot overturned with it's contents soaking into the floor mat and some of it dripping off the refrigerator door.

Don't ask me how it happened because I don't really know either.

My midnight snack turned into a half hour cleaning session instead.


And then there's this person.
Observing recent actions and lack of attention I finally got the hint.
So why am I still waiting?


I look like a Malay.
May says the tanner me looks better. I still think I look like a Malay.

My tummy got a little smaller from NS.
But now it's back to it's full roundness in all it's glory.
Haha disgusting, I know.


Mum took me to sign up for college a few days ago.
Im growing up so quickly. Or rather... the years are going by so quickly.
I've not "grown up". I know I'm still quite immature.

My father hates the smell of my new perfume.
But I like it.

I'm sleepy right now but I don't really want to sleep.


That person didn't say goodnight.

Maybe we're trying; trying too hard...

I am back from Cambodia.
The sun there was murderous, but I don't think I got any darker weirdly.
Owh yeah maybe it's cos of the layers of sunblock I buttered my face with.
I'm SO not going to be hero and end up suffering one hell of s shit sunburn like last year during Leo Leadership Camp.

I'll be updating about prom and the after party tomorrow or something.
If I feel like it la haha.

I've 100+ pics on Cambodia to post up too, so my blog will be quite happening for awhile.
That's if I stay home long enough to feel bored to blog haha.
I'm so bored now.
No one's home....

Just unpacked all my shit.
I was so tired this evening, but now I feel so wide awake.
May, Ash, Caryn, Mag and Slimy and the others planned me a surprise birthday gathering hahaha.
I love them la. No one's ever done something like that for me!
So so so so touched lor.
I LOVE YOU GUYYYSSSSSS!

Didn't take many pics cos I looked LIKE SHIT.
Literally like shit.
I hadn't showered and was wearing my pyjamas with my hair pinned up and bunned with my geek specs.
Haha. You get the picture.
Slimy's a damn good actor lor haha.
And I was damn blur. =.=

So all of that in posts to come.
Mmm what to do now...
Unpack, right. I'm lazy.

I'm such an... attached person.
Like, I get so attached to everything, even objects.
I don't like to clean my room because I don't like to throw stuff away.
I feel like going to Sunway now because I don't want to leave my friends.
But I don't want to regret in the future so I'm going to do what I must...
I hate saying goodbyes.
I suddenly don't want to go overseas anymore because I don't want to leave my mother.
I want to keep everything and everyone beside me all the time... I knwo I've always said that I wanted to go somewhere and start over, but I didn't know leaving things behind would be so difficult.
Just thinking of it is making me... berat hati.
I wish I could be like some people I know, who go forward and only forward; people who don't look back.
I realize now that by doing that life would be a little easier to live.
I was hurt and disappointed when those people didn't look back... but now I know that it's just a way of protecting themselves.
Whether consciously or unconsciously.
I hate that I'm so attached to everything around me.
I've to learn to disengage.
Just... disengage.

Haha suddenly so emo.

And Ash, I'm sorry I've been so mean about your boyfriend lately.

I'm getting over you... most of the time.

Tomorrow's prom.
Then afterparty.
Then Cambodia.



I'm emo.

Like, emo sad. Not emo angry, as I usually am haha.

And I don't know why! Period la I think.

Ha ha.


Ha ha.

CAN YOU CLIMB THIS MOUNTAIN

I HUNGRY HUNGRY WATCH THIS:






Owhkay I know no relation but whatever.

HEHEHEHHEHEHE PRISON BREAK HEHEHEHEHE


still no fucking internet la.