Is this what success is supposed to feel like?

If this is what success feels like, why do I feel so desolate?

If this is what it means to be successful, should I not be feeling... happy? Driven to achieve more? Proud?

Why do I feel like I’m constantly in trouble?

Why is there such a heavy weight on my chest?

Why do I feel so alone? 

Why do I feel so trapped?

Why am I fighting the urge to crumble to the ground in a heap of tears and utter sadness 

Why is this happening?  

And 

What do I do now?