I can hear my lover call, "Come to me"

I'm lying in bed wide awake.

The song "River of No Return" by Marilyn Monroe is playing over and over in my head.

When I close my eyes and try to sleepp, I feel even more awake.

"Oh, there's a river, called The River of No Return... Gone, gone, forever... To be lost in the stormy sea."

There was this CNY thing in the market place outside where I work today. They were playing CNY songs (the irritating kind) and old chinese songs; like the Wong Fei Hong theme song (which reminded me of daddy) and Teresa Teng's 'The Moon Represents My Heart' (which reminded me of mum) and they also had lion dances (which reminded me of my grandma - I felt tears prickling.

Funny how you never know that the last time is the last.

"You'll never return to me..."

Is you big enough?

I got this song stuck in my head and I can't stop listening to it.

I'm not a big fan of Rihanna, as many of you well know... But this one is really addictive. Try it out if you haven't already: Rihanna - Rude Boy.

The temperature here in London has been increasing, telling me that Spring is on its way... I have already experienced 2 seasons here and am about to experience the next one. Can't wait to not have to wear a coat when I go out!

I've been eating in massive amounts... I had 4 pots of yoghurt, 3 eggs, a garlic baguette, salmon cous cous salad, 4 pieces of fried chicken with a side of wedges... oh, and a lot of elderflower juice. But no worries, I will lose the weight as summer comes along. Because my money would have run out (from too much shopping) by then. HA! Just nice.

K Im here typing out crap again because I am shit bored and you know your life sucks when the only things you look forward to are classes and work. Actually looking forward to work isn't such a loser thing because when you work you're earning so it kind of is something to look forward to unless you're one of those people who's obsessed with money then you'd just be a loser yes I am digressing...

Right so I spent the whole day eating and watching Cougar Town. How wonderfully unproductive. I really cherish and appreciate days like these because I'm pretty sure I won't be having many days like this in the future.

Which brings me to my next topic. Last night I was bored (haha when am I NEVER bored???) and decided to research a little on summer internships; check out requirements, how to apply, application processes... etc. And then I realised (yes, yet another realisation) that I don't fucking know what I want to do! I know I know, everyone my age is more or less in the same position. But seriously, how does one go about picking a department to intern in when one has no bloody idea what s/he wants to do as a career?

I think it'd be cool and interesting to be an economics journalist, but I think I would end up hating the job. Then I thought since I'm so into trivial things like celeb gossip and clothes and stuff, maybe I should become a journalist in that area. Then again, there are SO many other people aspiring to be one of those and the industry is really quite hard to break in to - but that's just it, what ISN'T hard?

Which brings me to the question: what in the world do I want to do????

I know adults who already have a career path will tell you "Don't worry too much... you'll figure it out as time goes by."

But you see, I need to decide NOW. I want to start working towards something NOW, I need to know NOW!

I really need to see a career counselor.


On that note, I shall end this post abruptly. Goodnight world.