Thursday, March 22, 2018

你满意吗?我们都别说谎

So I kicked my wardrobe door which has a glass panel about a month back.
Not on purpose, of course, accidentally.
I’ve kicked it accidentally many times over the last 15 years, but this time - it broke.
Not like shattered glass all over the floor, more like a giant crack; starting at the point where I had kneed it, two long cracks going diagonally up to the right and diagonally down to the left, joining at the point of first impact and forming a sort of isosceles triangle balancing on a point.

Well I continued about what I was doing for a bit after that when I noticed there was a slight niggling sharp pain on my left toe - it was a shard of glass that had broken off when I kneed the glass.
I use my eyebrow tweezers and stuck it into my flesh where the shard was embedded and extracted it. There was quite a bit of blood and a little too much pain for such a small wound.

My dad has cancer. We found out about a month back.
He got it operated on - the doctor said he got out all the cancerous bits but there’s still some random cells floating around we think but in any case, he’s sort of all fine now, from the outside.... but just for now.

I haven’t put anything over the isosceles triangle over the past month because it looked like it was fine. I mean, it’s definitely broken, but it’s still in its place. Only that little piece of glass had fallen off and stuck me in the big toe.

The isosceles triangle and my dad have that in common, amongst other things. Broken, but not completely shattered yet.
Both will never go back to the way they used to be - and that is just how it is.

Tonight, after about a month, I dug out some duct tape and taped over the crack just so the isosceles triangle wouldn’t shatter. I put off doing this for a month, because maybe, I did not want to accept that the glass panel was broken and about to fall to pieces.

I have accepted it now. But duct tape and a pair of scissors are  all I have to hold my isosceles triangle together. I wonder how long will it hold... I wonder how long will I hold.