Hands, biceps, penis

Hehe my stupid Aiman kena marah.

He was telling me about how much he wants this game Left 4 Dead or whatever (he plays CS and DotA (apparently he doesn't play this anymore, which makes him even more lifeless as he spends so much of his waking time on the same game =.=) every minute of his waking life when he's not in class, sleeping, eating or talking to me) and as usual, jokingly asks me to buy it for him. The game is USD39.99 or something.

We were on Skype when this conversation happened.

[5:49:33 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: eat my shit
[5:49:41 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: Boxing day
[5:49:48 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: Ima buy new duvet cover
[5:49:51 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: and new bed sheets
[5:49:55 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: a pot set
[5:49:57 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: a knife set
[5:49:59 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: a blender
[5:50:06 PM] aimanyusra: wa
[5:50:06 PM] aimanyusra: lol
[5:50:07 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: and maybe one or two new clothes
[5:50:13 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: I miss having good cooking utensils
[5:50:13 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: k
[5:50:13 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: k
[5:50:19 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: you and your GAMES ISH
[5:50:21 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: OH
[5:50:21 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: BUT
[5:50:23 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: I HAVE A GOOD IDEA
[5:50:29 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: You come here for Christmas la...
[5:50:33 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: THEN YOU BUY YOURSELF
[5:50:34 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: DIU

You know, when I read this conversation again it reminds me of how a mother tells her son off when he asks for things. Hehehe.

Love youuuuu bububuubububub!

Hello, don't tell me you know? Yeah, you've figured me out. Something gave it away.

I'll find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me, if it kills me


I lay on my bed looking at the clothes stand I bought from Wilkinson's for £7.99.

It's been wobbly for awhile now, in fact it fell over a couple of times already.

I looked at the legs, where a screw is supposed to be screwed in tight there. but because I was lazy and I didn't have a screwdriver I didn't bother.

So every time I take a piece of clothing off the rack, I have to steady it, so it wouldn't fall over. It's slanting to the side now, and the slightest movement will make it tip over.

There's a plastic joint holding two pieces of the metal together, and even that is cracking already because of the whole thing constantly slanted to the left side.

I think I could fix it if I got a screwdriver and screwed in the screws properly... before it really falls apart for good.


I think it might kill me



I need to go get a screwdriver.



All I really wana do is to love you...

If you be my boat, I'll be your sea

Hey baby.. this is a reply to your long sms to me this afternoon.


Dear Babykins,

When I found out that I actually had the chance to go to the UK to study, I called you up right away and asked you if I should do it. And the exact words you said to me were, "Do it la, you want it so much.". When I called you I was half wishing you'd tell me not to go. Wishing you'd have told me to go to Aussie instead, just so we could have a few more months together. But you told me to do what I wanted to. You supported me like I knew you would.

Well, the next few months are going to be hard, but nothing we can't handle. Every time I talk to someone from back home and they say things like, "it's gna be so long more til we get to see each other againnn" I always tell them that time will fly past really quickly, and before you know it, I'll be home already. But I won't say that to you, because every time I think of you, and seeing you and holding you again; 8 months feels like forever. And I'm sure you think the same way too.

But I know it will work out, I know that WE will work out; because first and foremost (I've probably told you this a thousand times before) you are my best friend. You are one of the people whom I hold closest to my heart, one of the very few people I actually cannot bear to lose, and cannot bear to live without. And I know that right now, you see me in the same light.

Though we may be 7800miles away from each other physically, I feel that spiritually we have never left each others side. Not even for a moment.

So on this day, the day you first kissed me in my car a year ago, I want to thank you for loving me the way you have, and for continuing to love me in the many years to come.


I won't give up; I love you.




Happy 1 year to you, too.

BIG HUGGEERSS

I think you should know by now how much I love you-

I saw you for the first time in three weeks, and I cried.







I love you.

=/

I am aching inside...


and I don't know what to do.

It must have been love

There are 2 things in life right now, that I know for a fact.

1. I am never going to get slimmer, or lighter.
2. My results are not going to be good.


About no. 1, I admit. I'm starting to feel insecure about my weight. I've never felt that way before, really. Never bothered about what people said or thought about my weight, never bothered imagining being one of those girls who fit into every damned thing and who look good in almost every damned thing.

But for the past few months... mostly today, I've been imagining myself with one of those skinny little figures. Imagine all the clothes I could wear!


And we'd also have one less thing to argue about.

I will always love you

Dear Aiman 'Bubukins/Bestie' Yusra,


I am sorry for all the fights we've been having the past few days, and I want to thank you for coming back each and every time, even if the last one took you longer to return.

I keep getting sensitive about small things, I think, because at the back of my mind I keep thinking about how I may have to leave soon. Leave my home behind, leave the rest of my childhood behind, but mostly leave you behind.

But I believe, that after being best friends for 2 years, and then a couple which shares everything with each other for the past 9 months; we'll hold on throughout the 9 months a year when we are apart. We'll hold on even with the distance separating us.

So... with this, I'm REALLY going to stop doubting whether we'll be able to do this, or whether I want to do this.

Because I'm going to screw the odds and go for it, for better or for worse.

Because right now, you are everything to me as well.



I love you.


x


Now a little ranting:


I've been feeling like fucking jealous for fucks man the past few days WHAT THE FUCK I mean I was never really jealous of her at all before and now I am I now feel really stupid for being jealous of the other person when this person whom I'm jealous of now has had a real long history with him and I know so do I but I I I I I don't know why I feel like that all of a sudden and no it's not like Im going to do anything I just feel like... like he may just... What the fuck. Jealousy is an evil, evil thing.

games

I was watching the first ep of the 3rd season of Ugly Betty just now.

"Listen, things between us.. they're not always going to be great. But I'm your father. You are my son. And we're in this together. So even when I have to say no.... I still love you." Daniel to DJ, Ugly Betty Season 3 ep1.


Tonight's events made me realize what a child I am around you.
I never cry at something someone says. I hardly cry when people treat me bad. And I NEVER cry when I fight with my dad.


But with you... at the slightest annoyance of your voice, immediately I feel hurt. At the smallest reprimand, I feel my throat choking up.

I am always in control of myself. When I am angry, or when I am arguing with someone, I know my points. I know how to put them in their place.

But with you... I lose all senses. I lose all defenses. With you I am like the crocodile without the scaly skin, without protection.


With you, I am a child. And you, the parent.


I was alright the whole time, until that scene in Ugly Betty. I cried while watching that scene...


and have not stopped.



I won't be the one to go to you. Because I need to know that you will come for me.


I will wait... and wait.


Even though I get the feeling that tonight there will be no more calls, no more messages.





I will wait.





With my heart in my hands;




I will wait.

and I don't want you to go to bed mad at me, and I don't wanna go to bed mad at you

I know how much you hate that song... but right now, the words mean more than you can imagine.

It's the 3rd night I'm going to bed with tears... and soon a third morning I wake up with my eyes swollen.


But I meant what I said.


And if you never come back... then I'll know that what we had was never real in the first place.



And I wonder if you notice that every time I don't get to say this to you over the phone, I'll either text it or write it here.

Tonight, once again, I'll write it here. Because you probably put my contact on your phone black list.



Goodnight, baby. And regardless of what you're thinking or feeling right now, of what I'M thinking and feeling right now;


I love you.




... I really do.

If I was a flower growing wild and free, all I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee.

"In my opinion, the best thing you can do is.. find a person who loves you, for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome; what have you. The right person's still gonna think the sun shines out your ass." - Mr. McGuff, Juno's dad.


You know that I'll always think that the sun shines right out your ass... and I hope that right now, you still think that the sun shines out my ass.

Damn regret?

So my A2 exams are in 21 days; and needless to say, I am fucked.

Haha what else is new right LOL.


Right so on April 14th, Aiman and I turned half a year! Yeah I know that was like almost a month ago and I'm only blogging about it now lol. I really don't know what I do with my time these days.
I don't blog, I don't really go out late at night much and I sure as hell haven't been studying so... what happens to all that time?

Owh hmm. Now that I think about it, I've been spending most of the free time on my hands sleeping (extra) and playing stupid dash games (diner dash, cooking dash, wedding dash) BAH.

And a few days ago I think God was sending me his last warning through that tag I did on facebook. You know, the one where you put your playlist on shuffle and then after reading a question you press 'next' on your player?

Yeah so after reading the question, "What is the story of your life?", I pressed next, and the song that came up with Damn Regret by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. HAHA.

Yes... 3 more weeks. I can still make a difference.



x



Anyway, I digressed. We celebrated our 6months as a couple in Chili's, our fav place to eat!

We know that 6 months together isn't that great... but we just like to find reasons to set aside money to go have yummy food!





WET 1023 hehe.




Hello Mr. Henskem :)




Don't know why my hair was so flat that day =.=




Act cute?








Triple Play






They used to use potato skin as the base for this






Buffalo wings!




Lamb Shoulder Steak






Beef Bacon Burger




Best mashed potato ever




Yummy FAT!













It'll be 7 months in a few days.... I love you, Bubuu!



x



Dad just came in and asked me whether I've got classes tomorrow.


And it hit me. I'm done with college. I'm all done with college.


The last leg of the race is here, yet again. This is the last 100m where you sprint as hard as you can in an 800m race.


I'm just afraid that like in running... I'll end up 3rd place, at most.

Because I didn't sprint hard enough the last 100m.

Longing and yearning

Such a fine line between love and hate.

I don't even know why I bothered.

Wait... I do. I just wish he did too.



Goodnight.... And I love you.

All I wanna do is find a way back into love...

My chest feels as if I have 4 sandbags attached to each corner.

I walk around feeling like I'm 7300kgs, and not just 73kgs.


You are the reason that I breathe, you are the reason that I still believe


I was eating chicken rice with siu yoke and I don't know if it was just in my mind or what, but it was tasteless.

Every song on the radio made me sad. I kept changing the channels, from 1 to 2 to 3 to 4 to 5 to 6.
And then back again. Finally I gave up and just turned it off.


Oh my beloved...


I just banged my keyboard again because the 'n' wasn't working. I hit it so hard my hand hurts like balls.

But the stabbing feeling in my stomach and chest hurts so much more.

I painted my nails olive green today, and I wanted to tell you how pretty it was.

I'm not going to say I'm sorry anymore, because I know the word has become a bit stale.


Being with you, is so dysfunctional. I really shouldn't miss you, but I can't let you go....


I don't know what to do, I don't want the next time we talk to end up like that again.

But then again, I don't think I even want to talk, because I'm so afraid we'll end up fighting again. I don't even know which one of us instigated the last one...


I don't live on the moon, drink martinis in the afternoon


Felt like just yesterday we were dancing to this song in each others arms in my room.

I know you tried really hard to make things better, and I know that I wasn't exactly helping.... every thing I said just made things worst.

But... I love you, and I hope we work this out soon. This bloody ache is killing me.



Oh my beloved.

love glue gun

I was at the Cyberfusion 2009 event thing at Cyberjaya last weekend.


Pictures, now!









They decided to extend it to 40 hours




Me, waiting for Aiman




I went and bought him the shirt which says "I survived the longest lan party ever"
Hehe damn good girlfriend right hehe






Spot the Aiman!

Pssst. Right in the middle, with the grey hoodie and white Siberia whatever headset haha.




The 40th hour finally came






Altogether 219 people played for 40 hours, I think.




I helped him carry his stuff out to the caarr




This is how a person looks like after gaming for 40hours straight with no sleep.


And today my baby is sick :(

Poor boy had diarrhea, headache and a feveeerrr.

Think it's the 40 hours of non-stop gaming coupled with unhealthy food and minimal water =/


I on the other hand woke up sneezing today and continued sneezing till the evening =.=

Oooh ooh and I watched the movie He's Just Not That Into You today and I LOVED it.
So cliche, but I totally bought it HAHA.


I think that's what being in love (see, another cliche tagline) does to you.
Or does it happen to every girl?

mmmoooooooo

This morning, Leysha taught me a song called "I Am Cow".





I am Cow



So the first two lines of the song goes;


I am cow, hear me moo, I weigh twice as much as you.
And I look good on the barbeque!


I've been singing the bloody song the entire day haha.


So at 9.30am this morning, I texted Aiman this:

I'm a cow, hear me moo, I weigh twice as much as you!

He replied me a short while later:

Wtf baby. Haha.

Just as I was about to reply to that, he sent me another reply:

I am cat, hear me meow, I love you my big fat cow!

I laughed, teared (just a little!), and then felt offended.

Big fat cow? SERIOUSLY? =P





Silly babykins. :-*

I'm a lazy bitch

Aaahhhh I'm SO lazy to go to the gym right now.

Think I'll go stand in front of the mirror and stare at my flabby tummy for awhile. And then think about how much mummy is paying for gym membership every month. And then think of Jessica Simpson's body.

Why did I chooce Jessica Simpson's body instead of any other celebrity?

It's because Jessica Simpson has a big natural chest. I think la haha. Too lazy to go google it. =P

So yes, I'd like my body to look like hers. Fat hope, I know but heck, miracles do happen!

I WILL GO TO THE GYM THIS MORNING!


In a few minutes la. Hehe.



x





May 2008


Today marks the 4th month of us being together as a couple.

And it feels like we've only been together for a month or so; it definitely does not feel like 4 months have passed.

I'm glad I fell in love with my best friend. You know me so well, and you are so patient with me.


I read another one of your super long smses this morning.... and I just want to say,


that right now, you are my everything as well.
I love you, too.


Happy Valentine's Day, Aiman "Babykins/Curlykins" Yusra; and may we brave all the obstacles that have yet to come.





Together.




November 2008.

I wake up every evening with a big smile on my face, and it never feels out of place

I did my last paper on Monday, and have been extremely bored ever since.

Between going out with Aiman, watching TopGear and researching on universities, I've been doing nothing.

I. Am. So. Fucking. Bored.


And researching on universities has gotten me VERY worried about my results.
What if they come out worst than I expected?

I can't be retaking SO many papers in June... and I need at least 2A's and a B.

Then there's the money issue.

Then there's Aiman.

Then there's the question of what I want with life.


I am boggled.






We went to Swensen's in SS2 for lunch last Sunday.
We went around in circles looking for Delifrance, but I think it closed down haha.

The food at Swensen's sucked.
Meat was too dry, coleslaw too wet, quite tasteless.




Chicken Ham cream soup

This was good though.






Looks good, yes? Looks are once again very deceiving.




The icecream was of course the best.
If you ever go to Swensen's, just stick with the icecream (which I find quite overpriced).




He pouts haha.




He was so tired, the poor boy.
We watched two movies that day; Inkheart (very cliche movie) 6/10, Underworld: Rise of the Lycans, 8/10. I like vampire werewolf movies.




Ate at Yoshinoya after Inkheart then went back to GSC for Rise of the Lycans.

I love Yoshinoya. YUMMERS.












The only few pictures in which he didn't look like a grumpy sleep deprived child. <3



Blah. Im going to go watch TopGear. And then take a nap.
Then go to the gym. My mother is being so annoying.

Oooh loveyy

So yesterday I did a really spontaneous thing.


But before I did that really spontaneous thing, I had a sandwich with ham that was in the freezer for over 4 months with cheese.


Have I ever mentioned that I used to golf?
Yes haha I even have a handicap; I did the seminar and the course exam.

My dad forced me to play with him and my mom every Sunday morning.
And after golf on Sunday mornings I'd go to Sunway for cheer gym. Can you imagine how fit (and slim, might I add) I used to be?

Ah... those were the days.
Now I'm just eating, and eating... and eating.

So after awhile, my dad finally stopped forcing me to play on Sunday mornings, because we'd fight all the time.
I hate people forcing me to do stuff I don't like, especially when it isn't the least important!
When my dad forces me to study; fine, because it's for my own good.
But force me to play golf?? I had cheerleading for exercise at the time, and would've continued if he hadn't forced me to stop.

So yes, I was pissed every Sunday morning while playing golf and thus us quarreling on the golf course every Sunday morning for about 2 years.

And needless to say, I sucked.


Right so I did something really impromptu yesterday- I went to play golf.
It wasn't planned, Serena called me at 12 asking if I'd like to accompany her to the gym and maybe swim a little.

And I said, "LET'S PLAY GOLF, SERENA!"

Yes. It was MY idea.








I pulled my bag through 7 holes.
Was supposed to be 9 holes, but er, let's just say that at the 5th hole I finally realized that we should've just went swimming and gymming.

The sun was H-O-T.




The 9th green.






Serena in the sand




The cold towel felt SO good on my face



Serena used to play more often than I did, until she started med school then she had no time.

But yes... she didn't lose even one ball. I lost 4.
Would've lost 5, but I skipped the holes which had ponds so I wouldn't lose my last one. =P


I think I wanna do it again.
In the evening, when the sun isn't so scorching. =.=


Then I had an upset stomach, from the ham which was in the freezer for over 4 months.


GG.



x



Aiman and I were at Paddington House of Pancakes for dinner just now. ^^.

I went to pick him up and we went to Tesco first to do some grocery shopping as my larder was empty.
No more bread no more eggs no more instant pasta no nothing :(

Sent the bags of stuff back to my house first before heading back to Curve for dinner, which was YUMMERISM MAXIMUS.






Baby!




Owhkay so I was posing. =P




Trying to get my old camera to turn on




He likes to pose too




I think he looks a lot like his sister here




I forgot what this was called, but it was YUM.
It's probably a breakfast dish (the the sunny side up, baked beans, salami, sausages and all), but it was filling.






Double Mexican Burger

Very yummy! The portion is a bit big, though.




Baby eating his veggiess




Empty plates!



After that I drove my baby home to get his gear and dropped him off at a cybercafe to play CS.



I am such a good girlfriend, no?