Tainted Love

Its in less than 2 days and I am not in the least prepared.
I had a whole load of time for preparation, but always ended up procrastinating.
And as usual.. I am going to embarrass myself in front of everyone this Friday.

Sounds fun. Weeee.


Owh and btw I switched to Maxis.
I only smsed it to a few important people cos I was lazy la haha.

Machi replied, "Owh Yay! Like finally."
Slimy, "Omg. Good girl."
Khai Sim, "Yay. Good. Maxis."
Aaron, "Wa. Shiok."

And this other guy whom I gave my number to online, "MAXIS FINALLY"


Hmmm. Whats with everyone and maxis la. =.=

Hehe Slimy and Machi you better start replying my smses!
No more excuses that I'm using DiGi and yada yada yyaaadddaaa heeeeee :D


Damn now calling my parents are gonna cost more. =.=

Killing with kindness

Holy mother of a's;dl;sldlkl;aks'f';sldfl;ka;lskd.

I feel as if there are maggots eating up my brain.
My eyes hurt.
I wish I watched more CNN with my dad.

Sometimes I wish I was contented with being mediocre.
Life would be so much easier then.

If I were,
I won't be trying to outdo myself all the time.
I wouldn't expect much from anything or anyone.
I wouldn't be too disappointed when things don't turn out the way I want them to.
I'd just be.. simply, happy.

Sure, life would be quite dull and pretty much void of emotion but sometimes I think I'd prefer a little boredom over an almost constant tumult of shitty emotions which take up a lot of my energy to contain and overcome.

Sometimes I wish I were a simple minded person.
Happy go lucky, y'know?

Gay la.
I hate this shit.

My new baby

Owh, Lord. Finally. FINALLY.



I will guard you with my life.





HEHEHEHEHEHE.




Haha fat thighs.





Exhausted.

Circle circle dot dot

You just know something is very wrong with yourself when Wong Su Han starts beating you in AddMaths.



Tsk tsk.
I've gotta put my act back together.











I wanna go clubbbiiiing laaaaaaa. GAH!

Losing grip

July 9th, 2006.

I am losing it.
We're all losing it.

You really don't wanna do that

GAH FUCK THIS LA OWHKAY?

I don't give a frickin DAMN about who he asks for or whether he fucking replies my msges or who the hell he thinks of at night or whether or not he fucking DIES tomorrow!


I am SO over this.

This will not be pleasant.

I've been reading a lot of 2006 recap posts on other people's blogs.
So I thought to myself, maybe it'd be pretty fun doing one too.
As I was halfway through it.. I realized that there wasn't much to recap on during 2006.
For me, anyways.
Life began to really suck last year.
But I am holding on.
Clinging on, more like.
Clinging on to a very thin rope called "hope".
I pray that it doesn't break, because it feels very high up from here.
I don't want to fall.

Haha funny how I wanted to blog about something happy and ended up writing a whole bunch of emo shit instead.


Caught a movie with my lesbo lover at Cineleisure yesterday.
Went to feed Machi before going for our movie.
It was friggin 4:30pm and that silly girl hadn't eaten yet. =.=
I blame her mother. Ha ha.





RM7.80 curry mee.




Candids



Machi and I went to watch 300 yesterday.
People kept telling me it was good and all, so obviously I had high expectations.
And I was not let down. ;)

My favourite character was the Queen of Sparta.
The coolest part was when she pulled the sword out of this guys scabbard and stabbed that
other guy and repeated what he had said to her when he got her to have sex with him for his favours in court DAMN COOL LOR.

K I don't remember that guys name.





All hail the Queen!




Seeexxxyyyyyy
Leonidas




The guy whose name I don't remember




Xerxes
He's got a really pretty boy face.




This is one uuugglllyy motherfucka




David Wenham!
*sigh* So handsome!




Had a small dinner at Sakae Sushi after the movie.
I say "small dinner" cos we were both very, very broke.





Looks good, dunnit?




Cha Soba



We were broke but wasted 10bucks on taking sticker pictures anyway haha.
Had a good time yesterday. :)

When you were young

My head is throbbing like a bitch.
For the past two weeks, life got bitchier.
There's been so much tangled up emotions inside me,
making me bitchy.
So many thoughts going through my mind, making me feel helluva bitchy.


Everything is just so bitchy.










There was sand in my toes.
And you were on my mind.

I don't like this feeling.

Edit.
2:06pm


I let my mom cut my fringe.
This is like, the 3rd or 4th time.
And you'd think that during all those other times she'd have learned not to cut my fringe so short when I told her not to.
But noooooooo...
I just don't get it.
Which part of "Don't cut it so short" COULD SHE NOT UNDERSTAND??

She cut it shorter than ever this time.
Like above my eyebrows.
So now I pinned everything up, with my wide forehead and my huge pimple which looks like a frickin crossover from a boil and a volcano bare for the world to feast their eyes on.


And life is just FANTASTIC.

I swear if it rains during 4 to 7pm today I'll take it as a sign to go kill myself right away because I can't take this shit anymore GAH.





***





Gah I hate this feeling.
I guess you could call it.. depression.
I just
I feel so severely alone.

I don't feel like doing anything, or talking, or whatever.
The only thing I wanna do is go shopping but I don't have much $$$.
I wanna go drinking.

I wanna move from here and never come back I wanna sleep and never wake up I wanna be a stronger person who's not so susceptible to emotions I wanna be more independent I wanna cry all these feelings out I wanna run run run run run run run awaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy





I miss being feeling-less.

RETAIL THERAPY

I NEED TO FRICKIN BUY SOMETHING OR I'LL JUST GO CRAZY REATIL THERAPY RETAIL THERAPY RETAIL THERAPPPPPPPPPYYYYYYYYYYY

I just need to get used to this.

Today was fun. :)
I missed going into shops and trying on a gazillion of clothes without buying anything and then seeing the shop assistants' pissed expressions hahahaha.

I almost forgot how much fun Machi and I can have together, too.
But today's outing reminded me. :)

We tried on so frickin many clothes weiy.
We were actually pretty moody at first, due to our own reasons.
Then I suggested we try on something weird!
Couldn't stop laughing. :D

Went to Rasta with Pik Yie and Yau Suen afterthat.
Haha tried shisha-ing for the first time.
We were all pretty high on God knows what and laughing all the way and gossiping it was fun funf ffffuuuuuuunn!

Hmm I just noticed that I sound damned bimbo.

Well yeah. I am not good with words.
So, pictures!






Stupid girls doing stupid things in the dressing room :D








Holy shit fat chic alert!
Knnccb damn fat weiy.




We met Vincent at 1U, too.







Why is it that there is never a decent picture of you?
Hmmm. Maybe its cos YOU'RE spastic!
HA HA HA.



Weeeeeeeeee.

Reaching out for human faith is like a journey I don't have a map for.

I need sleep.
My eyes are swollen again.
I am going to fail Econs.
And Sejarah.
And Accounts.

She said, I'm flying to the moon and back if you'll be my baby.
I've got a ticket for the world when we have belonged,
so would you be my baby?


I think the addmaths paper was owhkay..
I hope I pass.
I need to shower.

I am nervous about it.
I know what I'm doing isn't right, because nothing deep will ever happen.
I know that I am just going to hurt myself.
I know.





I know.

So take these words and sing out loud, cuz everyone's forgiven now.

I am like suppose to be doing addmaths sums right now so I won't fail but I can't seem to concentrate as usual la haha I haven't started studying Sejarah at all and its like 11:05pm already and the funniest thing is that I don't really seem to care ha ha ha ha and like you know I am scared of failing la but wtf la it ain't the end of the world but my parents are like gonna be so extra bitchy I mean my mom's been really supportive and all but I think she'll resort back to whining and nagging me again after she finds out about my multiple failures this term and you know I have a really cool eyelash curler which costed me 70frickin bucks but its like really good cos now my eyelashes are so pretty I think I'm gonna wear mascara to school tomorrow cos I think I'll just drop dead after doing my addmaths and sejarah exam so I thought if I were to die may as well die a pretty girl with pretty eyelashes la ha ha ha ha I am so cool right see Slimy you don't need to have curly hair to be cool you know and like I like pie and Im fat and I think typing Shuwen's way is damn cool so yeah byebye I am going to *try* not to fail anything now yeah I know Terry says try is for losers but whatever la and I am quite confused about what to do with him now ha ha ha ha owhkay intergration here I come!

Prolonging the inevitable.

I've got an add maths test at Terry's later at 2:30pm.
And I only started revising this morning.
Last night I'd planned to wake at 8:30am, so I told myself that I'd have to go sleep earlier.
And I did. I slept really early. Early in the morning. =.=
I'm damned terrorr laaaa....

I need to focus!
Exams start tomorrow and I am SO not ready.
This time I'm seriously serious. Last year I started cramming 4 days before exams started,
and this time I started 4 days before, too, only this time I didn't cram.
I just chilling-ly revised when I wanted to and watched tv when I wanted to.
And most of the time I watched tv and did other things. Ha ha ha ha.
I am digging my own grave and carving my tombstone lor. =.=







Holy shit why so big one?
I thought I resized it.. sigh, whatever la.


Come pai san at my grave during cheng meng this year, owhkay?
:(

Please don't.

I've been digging my own grave.
I just started studying today, and exams begin on Monday.
Champion la.
I just screwed myself in the ass.