Fuck fuck fuck fuck

New Year's Eve is so overrated. It is just a landmark in time to show just how long time has gone by; nothing happy about it. So I don't understand why people go "Happy 2010!" or "Have a good 2010" and acting like it's a huge deal when it really isn't. Most of the time, nothing actually changes.

And why "Happy 2010"? How sure are you that 2010 is going to be happy? As well as "Have a good 2010" how sure are you that 2010 will actually be good?

Oh new year's resolutions... _|_ I don't see why people even bother making new year's resolutions when 90% of it doesn't happen anyway. Just a way to assuage a person's guilt for not doing things they were supposed to; with a promise that they will do it in the coming year, when as I've said, probably doesn't happen after that.

Alright fine, some argue that they get all psyched about new years because it's a time to change oneself, to start anew, to adopt better habits and etc well if we go along those lines why don't we celebrate every fuggin day, then? Well as they say, every day is a new day. So why do we choose this one day, the 31st of December to lie to ourselves and make pretense on supposedly future efforts to be better people? Why the hell do we even bother?


I don't know when I became such a cynic.


I have got 8 essays to write, one Library workbook thing, a Micro test and I have not started on even one. I have 14days to finish them, but in actuality I only have 6 days because Jade's coming and we'll be hanging out a lot and yeah I could do it even but honestly, I just can't be arsed. Like right now, I could be using the time to write my essays but here I am, writing crap that's on my mind. As per usual.

I am only beginning to feel the I-may-not-get-them-done-on-time pressure, but it's not big enough to actually make me get down to anything right now. Which sucks... because I do want to, I just... don't want to. I am making sense.


Right, so goodbye, 2009. Goodbye, teenage years and all the rights to irresponsibility. Goodbye, carefree days. Goodbye, childhood.



Hello, Big Bad World. I am ready.

Always remember that you can never change a person... they have to want to change themselves.

Agh. Today I did something I swore I would never do; and that is attempt to change a person.

I've always had this little rule where if I can't accept him smoking, then I won't want anything to do with him besides being friends.

Yes, the smoking really bothers me.

And today I unconsciously tried to make him stop.
Obviously my efforts, albeit unintended, were thrown right back in my face and I was asked to "grow up".

Well yeah. I guess that's what I get for involving myself with someone who has habits I obviously can't stand. Those habits being mood swings, sniffing and of course, smoking.

Sigh, why don't I ever learn. Seriously.



Went to Coco Banana with May Ee and Dina on Friday the 13th.
Just as I mentioned that it was Friday the 13th while walking to the club a black cat appeared out of the shadows and Dina said "Don't cross my path don't cross my-" and it ran right across our paths.

Haha luckily nothing really bad happened besides this weird fella following us around and I got burnt by a cigarette butt. =.=








Next morning I skipped Terry's to go to the US Education Fair.

When I stepped inside the MCA building I just felt so... lost. Haha, yes. Lost.
I saw Alison, a UWC USA scholar whom I met last year... and I felt even more scared.

But worst of all, incompetent.

In the first hour I was so lost I didn't even know what to look for. I didn't even know what I wanted to do anymore.

I wanna have a big, on-going career by the time I'm 30, a career that I like; and I've never actually seen myself having less than that.
Not until that day, when I suddenly realized how lost I was.

And then I thought to myself, at the rate that I'm going now, when I'm 55 I'd probably have 5 kids and a useless husband who can't do nothing else but love me and we'd have a combined income of RM7k a month (This is probably the 9043850934853rd time Jebat has probably heard me saying this haha).

The following thought was: Will I be happy with that? CAN I be happy with that?

At this time... I think I could. But I don't think I could as well.


Well, could you?





Sin Seanne, Retardina (haha quite cool right!), Jane and Wei Ping




Jebat and I
Thanks for listening to my shit the entire time we were there haha




Dina and I




You've probably read the previous previous post on our sort of failed attempt to take public transport home haha.
We waited a whole freaking hour for a bus that never came. =.=
As we were walking across the jejantas to get to where the Ikano bus would stop, we saw it already there.
So Dina said "Ching if we get on that bus we'll get into Swarthmore!" and so we ran with all our hearts.

Not even halfway, the bus left.


So we stood there, and then sat down on the pavement.
Waited, waited, waited.

Then took pictures.





:)



Finally we took the bus that headed back to 1U, and walked to Ikano from there.
Had good conversation at Dome Cafe, with really expensive Caesar Salad and really expensive drinks. Haha.





The Caesar Salad at Ms Read is WAY better



Then we walked back to my house and Dina took an hour to type the post you see below there WHICH SHE ALMOST DELETED luckily I clicked the undo button.







Come to think of it, this is one of the last few DinaChing times.
After so many years... our time is coming to an end.

You always hear people talking about how everything will end one day, and you go "yeah yeah yeah" and yet when it finally happens, you are still caught unaware.



Agh. Calculus.

Stress?

Had a little get together dinner at Little Penang Cafe in The Curve with Dina and Aunty Farah, Xin and her mum, and Steph.
Dinner talk was mostly on scholarships and uni applications and other stuff relating to that.

I started freaking out just a little. I thought I had it all figured out already.

And just a few hours ago Xin smsed to ask if I was going to the US education fair (which I am btw) and whether we should take the SATs together.
She also said that we should take it NEXT MONTH cos uni applications start around Oct-Nov and I was like WTF SO FAST I was only planning on applying like next year after I'm done with A levels and then she says something about that it's better if I get a conditional offer now and get started on all the preparations like testimonials and essays and OMG MY MIND IS REELING??


K. I need to regroup here. Well, least I found out about it now, right? I can work towards this.
I can. Yes.. I can.


*fuh* owhkay. Pictures.

























I'm taking my driving test tomorrow.
... finally.
No more people laughing at me just cos my birthday's on January the 3rd and I haven't got my license when Jane who's born a whole year later than I already got hers and is cruising around in the new Saga her parents got her whilst I'm still going around asking people for rides to places and constantly having to plan how to get home it's always errr can you send me home or I kinda need a ride home or OMG PLS PLS TAKE ME HOOMMEEE :(:(:( or dad can you come pick me up pls (and then get a long lecture on the way back) but once I'm done with this test there will be no more of that crap how am I getting there and going home? I'M DRIVING.


The day has come. Yes, the day has FINALLY come.

A little bit is not that much to ask to make things right

I skipped school today to study.
And ended up watching Lemony Snicket Series of Unfortunate Events.
The baby Sunny Baudelaire the the most adorable little girl I have ever seen!







I absolutely love movies like that, don't know why it didn't occur to me to catch it on the big screen when it first came out.

Yeah so other than watching a movie, I also ended up finishing my novel and playing with facebook. =.=

I have so little willpower; if not none.
Sigh.

I've been doing the same question in my Econs past year questions book for the past three days!
What the hell have I been doing?
I really, really, reaalllyyyy have to stop slacking off.
And buying clothes...

Gosh that's another problem.
I'm already in debt and instead of saving up to repay my debts I am buying more clothes!
I just can't stop buying omg!

I think I need to remove my modem and hide it somewhere.
The internet is killing me.
It's giving me access to facebook, selltrade, msn... owh dear.
I NEED to do something before I ruin myself!


Now if only I had the guts to unplug my modem and give it to my dad...


***


Today is Tan MayMay, one of the Fat Sister's birthday.
She turns 17 today!
Lol she's just turned 17 and I am turning 18 in abt 3 months haha.
I am old.

Well my dear Fat Sister, I'm sorry I couldn't make it to your hse this morning,
but I hope you enjoyed this other surprise. :)

AND MAY THE FAT SISTERS LIVE ON!
We survived PMR... we are gonna survive SPM.
If anything, we have our back up Fat Sister, Dina, to continue on our legacy.





Fat Sister looovveeee <3



***



Owh and DBSK FANS!
If you have not yet signed the petition to postpone the concert dates till after SPM, then please, please do so right now. It will not take even 5 minutes of your time.


Sign the petition