I don't want to let go

But I have to. If I am to keep what I still have, I have to.

I think what frustrates me most is that I can't do anything about it. Besides let go.

And feel angry and disappointed and mostly.... helpless.

So bloody helpless.

But this time I refuse to cry anymore. I refuse.

I am selfish, so what? I don't care anymore.

He doesn't know what he's missing out on, it's his lost entirely.

His lost, completely.



This will be my last post regarding this issue.
I am above this. And by hook or by motherfucking crook, I will move on.

He will not get a second chance.



My nose is red.

Green and grey

Supposed to be on the way to La Bodega right now.
Leysh said she'd come get me at 7.10pm, and it's currently 7.28pm.

And my mother is currently poking around my top like a vulture and whining.

Hehe owhkay I can't exactly blame her as almost the entire expanse of my back is bare, and it has a cowl neckline.

So since I was ready since 6.30pm, I decided to take pictures of myself, something I haven't done since 13th April. Haha.

Oooh I got a pair of grey contact lenses for free.
Freshlook had set up a booth in Help mainblock, so Leysh and I went to fill up their survey forms for a free pair of contacts lenses haha.

I think I prefer my blue ones better though.







I took like 40 pictures and deleted 23 of them after looking at them on the computer.
=.=

Camwhoring is tough business, owhkay.

Kind of.

In college library right now.


Supposed to be studying.


I'm damn sleepy.


And broke. RM3 left in my pretty Cambodian silk purse.


I don't know what the holy mother is going on in all my subjects.


Parent Lecturer Meeting this Sat fuck.


Accounts mock results going to be given to my mom. Fuck fuck fuck.


I'm still damn sleepy.


Malaysian Studies presentation later. Damn lazy.


Stupid facebook poker not loading.


Dad said he burnt my hard drive this morning, hope to God it isn't true.


I wouldn't mind a new hard drive. Current one is so ancient.


And it lags. Zzzz


Classes straight till 6.30pm. But I skipped Stats la.


To study. Ha ha.


Ooowhkaay should be studying...


MAHAI DAMN LAZY!

And it's like taking a guess... when the only answer is "yes".

Been having too much comfort food (KFC) lately.
Leysh suggested that starting tomorrow we will go on a healthy diet with lots of fruits and vegetables. Wonder how long that will last. HAHA.
Oooh but I think it would if I could have Caesar Salads with smoked salmon from Ms. Read Cafe for breakfast every morning...


Haha. Anyway, pictures from May Ee and Cheryl's thing last Friday night.


We had three tables in Courtyard Garden, one for Cheryl's friends and classmates, one for the DJ-ians, and one for May Ee's classmates.






Sarah Chan. Long time no see woomaaan.






Birthday Bitch.
Her real birthday's on the 25th though.




ThinFat Sisters.












:)




"I haven't fixed my haiiirr WAAIIITTT" - Sarah








Three Puay Chai boys




Jooonnnn




The guy whose face is almost as round as mine!






with Meng Leong and Yao Hui (Is that how you spell your name?)




Love this pic of them, depicts how they really are hahaha






What's with the peace signs man =.=




Better






Hehe so cute






Pretty Yienny




A supposedly "Scout Photo" ha ha




The Other Birthday Girl :)

Eih sounds like The Other Boleyn Girl haha!




Tsk tsk Ethan...












Time to blow the candles on the cake!




Barbie cakes!
















Seriously, Jesse.






Yao Hui and Dexter; two of May Ee's, Siang's and Steph's classmates




Group picture!


Yup so that's it. :)


I will go see Jon again tonight for the last time in a long time.



Time sure flies.




x




I don't know when I'll be able to accept the fact that I wasn't the one he chose.

hiding

This is for you.

It's been a while since the two of us talked
About a week since the day you walked
Knowing things would never be the same
With your empty heart and mine full of pain
So explain to me, how it came to this
Take it back to the night we kissed
It was Dublin city on a Friday night
You were vodkas and coke, I was Guinness all night

We were sitting with our backs against the world
Saying things that we thought but never heard
Who would have thought it would end up like this?
Where everything we talked about is gone
And the only chance we have of moving on

Is try to take it back
Before it all went wrong

Before the worst, before we mend
Before our hearts decide
It's time to love again
Before too late, before too long
Let's try to take it back
Before it all went wrong

There was a time, that we'd stay up all night
Best friends talking till the daylight
Took the joys alongside the pain
With not much to lose, but so much to gain
Are you hearing me? Cause I don't wanna miss,
Set you a drift on memory bliss
It was Grafton Street on a rainy night
I was down on one knee and you were mine for life

We were thinking we would never be apart
With your name tattooed across my heart
Who would have thought it would end up like this?
Where everything we talked about is gone
And the only chance we have of moving on

Is try to take it back
Before it all went wrong

Before the worst, before we mend
Before our hearts decide
It's time to love again
Before too late, before too long
Lets try to take it back
Before it all went wrong

If the clouds don't clear
Then we'll rise above it, we'll rise above it
Heaven's gate is so near
Come walk with me through
Just like we use to, just like we use to

Let's take it back
Before it all went wrong

Before the worst, before we mend
Before our hearts decide
It's time to love again
Before too late, before too long
Let's try to take it back
Before it all went wrong

... and me.

I've got an icebox where my heart used to be... I'm so cold.

Spent Friday and Saturday night with old friends.
It was nice feeling like old times, all of us talking shit, taking pictures (Siang: eiiih take picture take picture then post on facebook k!), some people glaring at other people across the table (hehe Steph Steph Steph..) and eating crazily expensive food. =.=

Seriously, what is with us and expensive food? Everywhere we go, one main course is at least RM25 or more I no money laaaa.

So, being the cheapo I am, I had only appetizers.
Lamb Cheese Koftas. Which were... well reading the name already kind of makes your tummy rumble, no?

And of course, I went around tasting other people's food as well lah. Haha.


Courtyard Garden had a nice ambience (and it's near college wtf =.= In Lorong Dungun, to be exact) but it was really warm. Me no likey warm.
And I wore a long sleeved square necked red cotton dress summore waaahh so warm.


I shall post up pics from both nights now, seeing as I've an unit3 econs test on Thursday and SAT's on Oct4th.

And of course... I haven't started studying lah. What's new right.



Pictures from last night's dinner first, cos pics from the other night is taking more time to upload.
Oooh we had dinner in Paris last night! Damn cool right.
We flew there ha ha ha.

And as always in a DJ group dinner, someone always comes late. This time it was Jon lah.. and since Jon picked Wei Kit, Kit Weng and I up, we were all late with him.
Wei Kit could've been there earlier, and so could I (I managed to persuade daddy into fetching me hehe love my daddy) but um yeah. Haha.

Steph and Dillion were the piss-est.

Jon looked like a young irresponsible teenage son (eih.. he actually is HAHA) getting screwed by his trying-not-to-be-too-hard-on-him mother (Steph), and a very-VERY-pissed-and-disappointed father (Dillion).

The food was damn good and damn cheap (yeah that was one of the very rare occasions when our food was actually quite affordable =.=) and Jon footed the bill. Hehe.
The food was so good I actually ate like how I used to eat before all the shit started happening.

Kit Weng accidentally toppled tea into the lemon sauced fried chicken but the chicken was still good man LOL.

And then we reminisced about high school and how we used to do illegal things without getting caught and the bitchy teachers in form 1 and form 2 and the funny teachers and the old dramas... ah good times la.








I was Jon's lucky star that night, yes I was!
I like to play poker when it's not my money I'm putting into the pot HAHA!




So blur




Better!

MayMay looks like she just had (in Steph's words) SEXYTIME!
She and Siang DID come late.....




Mata Sepets haha.

Jon looks so happy cos he was winning hehehehe
Steph looks happy cos er, I dunno lah haha
Yong Meng stressing hehehehehe








Ethan won the most that night, I think.



Omg damn gay there's still like 30 pictures to go I'm gonna go watch Charmed first haha!

Check in later for more pictures.

Yes Joe Shen, come back later. =P