Life really sucks right now. Part II

After a little encouragement from today's events and from the fella who says I'm psycho I have decided to post back up what I removed yesterday.


I also have never liked guys who think they're heroes and that their so great when they're not even a centimeter close to being any of that. Actually I hate all people like that.
And I don't give a shit that he's going to the UK, for good, in all honesty. Yes, I realized that this morning as well.
I also realized that I never did harbor any feelings for him, and all the making out was just that; making out.
All those things I said to him while we were making out, was purely lust.
I knew from the beginning what he was (see, I'm already using past tense) like, and decided to play. Then I found out that he has mood swings, thinks he's damn good with his tongue (which is not true. I'm not saying he's bad at making out, I'm just saying that he isn't as good as he says he is. Please. Even if you are, no one likes a braggart.) and he thinks I'm so in love with him.

Yes, there was this incident when I got jealous that he had some other girl's pictures in his phone.
But shortly after the jealousy started, I realized that I haven't exactly been honest about everything either. I never told him about the guy I've liked since last December and that when we were making out I was thinking of that guy most of the time.

Aside from that, I also discovered that he is quite narrow minded.
Hey, just 'cause the (quote) love of your life(unquote) played you out that does not mean that each and every member of the female gender is the same, owhkay?
P and J gave it a shot. P felt like it wasn't working out for her; and thus not working out at all, so she ended it.
THAT'S HOW DATING WORKS, HONEY.
So stop calling J the "victim" and looking at P as if she cheated on him or something (which would be grounds for actually terming J as the "victim") unlike SOMEONE I know, who kissed one of his best friend's girlfriend (with tongue, btw).

Oops? Did I strike a chord on your expensive electric guitar?

Anyway, my point was, that they gave it a shot and it didn't work out.
That isn't called playing.

Playing is when one party in the situation knows that he/she does not want a relationship with the other party but goes on leading he/she on anyway.

That's NOT what P did. She realized that it was a no-go (and at an early stage too, they were only dating for 2 weeks or so) and then told him straight off that it wasn't going to work out.
So she was not playing. She was being honest and she did the right thing.
What? You think J would've liked it better if she led him on because she was afraid to tell him that she didn't have feelings for him and in the end let him find out that all this while she'd been lying? Wow, that would be SO much better!

Hah.

Or maybe you prefer to live on lies. I'm sure you remember all those times when you outright lied to Leysh and I. No doubt some of those lies weren't big ones, but they were lies nonetheless.
No one likes being lied to. Especially not me. I took your word, and you broke it.
It not only annoys me, but it makes me lose respect for you. Amongst the other things you say and do.

And the worst part of it all is that you supposedly regard P as a really important friend.
But yet when she tries to explain herself you hear her out, but you don't bother listening.

You just keep going "I know I know I know" when you don't freaking know a thing because you aren't listening to her. Or I, when I try to help her explain herself.

In fact I think P should not have to explain herself to anyone. She did what she did. She does not need to prove herself to you.
But she tried anyway. WHY? Because SHE regards YOU as an important friend, and it is important that you understand her actions.
But no, you brushed her reasons off AND continued harping on the thought that she supposedly "played" J out and rubbing it in her face.
Seriously. You're such a good "friend".

Owh now when I think about it, maybe Ms. LoveOfYourLife didn't play you out.
Things probably just didn't work out for her and so she ended it.
And you, in your pain and bruised ego just registered it as "playing" because it'd be so much easier if she were the bitch who played you rather than the girl you loved who didn't love you back.


It doesn't matter that I'm stating all of this here, maybe he should know.

Hah. Speak of the devil. Just as I'm typing shit about him, he appears.

"Hey, where's Leysh?"

I smile back and say, "Over there."


Right now I'm such a hypocrite and I don't deny it.



So sue me.

Life really sucks right now.

And it would be much easier if I just jump off the 5th floor window.

I'm using the college library to blog again.


Supposed to be studying for my Econs mock test tomorrow; I got the past years questions book and was going to read the questions and then the answers when I realized that there are no answers. Fuck.

So I sat there, and tried to answer the questions myself (to not much avail haha) and then suddenly Kar Yan comes along and tells me that you can buy the answer book from the same place where I got my past years questions book. Fuck.

Then there's mech class in about 20mins time and I have a very strong feeling that Mr. Anuar is going to give us a surprise mock test. Double fuck.

This morning my lecturer gave us the answers for the mock test we did on Monday, and I realized that 90% of all my answers are wrong. Fuck.

And the test only covers C1 and C2. Fuckx10.


I've also just realised that I cannot accept hanging with people who are into things like that, and take life so lightly.
At first I thought I could, but this morning I realized that I seriously can't.
And so I will cut myself off. I have no bond with these people, and do not intend to form one.



Other part of this post removed. I regained my right mind right after Mech class.

And almost killed my dad and myself 3 times rushing home to remove this.