Cheese mushroom omelette, anyone?

The first day of Chinese New Year will be on Monday.
And tomorrow is the eve of CNY.
But this year, it doesn't feel like Chinese New Year at all.

I don't feel the anticipation of seeing old aunties, uncles, grand aunties, grand uncles, married cousins for angpau.

I don't feel the anticipation for the food my mother's oldest sister cooks for the first day of Chinese New Year.

I don't hear enough of mandarin or hokkien being spoken around me, or my nieces and nephews singing those irritating CNY songs.


I'm not packing new clothes or any clothes at all to leave for Penang tomorrow.



In my 19 years of living, this is the first year that I am not going to Penang to celebrate Chinese New Year.


This Chinese New Year, I'll not be greeting distant relatives whilst sweating in my new clothes.
This Chinese New Year, I'll not be drinking beer like water and playing with the children.
This Chinese New year, I'll not be lighting up any fireworks...

Neither will I be sharing a bathroom with 230948309583 people, or eating steamboat two days in a row, or lining up with all the other kids to receive angpaus from a whole bunch of people whom I only see once a year, or sleep with another 398535 people in the same room.






But instead, I'll be spending the eve studying industrial economics test, and the day itself doing the test.




I want to be young again, when I could do all these things.
I want to go back to Penang for Chinese New Year. I want to see my grandmother. I want to sweat in my new clothes in the sweltering CNY weather. I want to sit in the corner with Tze Lin and count the money we both collected. I want to eat the food my tua ee cooks.
I want to feel like it's Chinese New Year, and not just any other time of the year.



I want to be little again. :(