Driving away from the wreck of the day

This the ultimate emo song. I suppose the wreck of MY day was the lamb stew which I burnt after almost 3 hours of stewing.

Oh, and all the other shit which I leave unaddressed because I just can't be bothered. And then when I look back and think of all the things I could've and should've done but didn't do I ask myself: Why? When the reason is clear really. I just couldn't be arsed. So now I have to live with the memory of what could have been.

I miss Grace. I am ashamed to say that I am feeling lost and alone without her. I have got no one to ping when Im feeling annoyed or when I've discovered some good food, no one to ping when I'm bored, no one to tell me not to do things I shouldn't be doing.

And as usual, I am losing touch with the people who matter. Happened with May when I went to college, and now with Leysha. I will make more effort, I promise.

It's 1.05am, and I don't feel like sleeping. My mind is on a roll tonight, whole bunch of random things going around in my head. I am feeling strangely numb, and a little empty.

I know I should stop feeling like this, because it brings Aiman down. I need to stop feeling so shitty. I need to start looking forward, and stop faltering.

Since I got here, I've just been trudging ahead. Looking straight, lifting one foot forward and then the other and not stopping to look around, because I know if I do I'll notice that I'm actually really quite lost. So I just keep walking.

Even this blog, which has become deserted. Feels like you were once in a room telling the many people gathered to listen, but now the room is empty, and only your voice echos off the walls.

Then you sit there, by yourself.


Listening to the sound of your own voice. Reverberating, loud and clear.



What do you do now?