Dear Daddy,

I'm sorry I yelled at you last night.
I knew you yelled at me first because you cared about my health.

I'm sorry I always thought you annoying,
when all you wanted me to know was that I should take care of myself.

I'm sorry I troubled you this morning, and also yesterday morning, and also all those other times when you had taken me to see the doctor.
Yesterday night when we had our little quarrel, you had yelled at mum, and asked her to take me to the doctor instead.
I was hurt.
But this morning.. I knew what you said last night wasn't true.
The way you ran around to get me cream for my sores,
the way you rushed me to the coffee shops to get something to eat when I said I was hungry..
I knew you cared.
I just refused to admitt to myself, probably.


Dear Daddy,

I enjoy sitting with you, talking with you, laughing with you..
and sometimes I think you understand me more than Mummy.
And when we argue, it hurts me more than you can imagine.
I always want to cry when we do, but I promise myself that I will not.
Because I refused to lose the battle; that very pointless battle.

I remember when I was seven, I had fallen down and broke my front tooth.
You rushed to school, and carried me to the car,
although I had told you that I could walk and didn't need to be carried.
I was afraid you'd yell at me again for falling.
But you didn't.. I could see, even at the age of seven,
that you were worried. You were even more worried than mummy haha.

I remember looking at you, and saying the words, "I'm sorry", inside my heart.
I had wanted to say that I was sorry that you had to drop everything and rush to me,
I had wanted to say that I was sorry that I had made you so worried,
I had wanted to say that I was sorry that I had made you spend so much money on a careless 7 year old girl who had fallen down and broke her tooth.

I didn't say it, Daddy, because I didn't dare to, not because I didn't want to.


Dear Daddy,


It is the same as when I was 7 then, its just that now I am 16.
I still couldn't say those things I had so wanted to say.

Well Daddy, I'm sorry. I know you care about me, you just don't show it like Mummy does.
And I don't show it, either.
But you know, I do. :)
Perhaps one day you'll read this.
Perhaps one fine day...

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Went to see the doctor this morning about my lips and my eye.
I always thought my lips were just cracked and dry,
but it turns out that its some sort of allergy, which is why its inflamed.
Sigh Dad said its cos I'm allergic to dust.
He gave me a whole friggin lecture on how dirty my room is and blabla.
He threatened to throw all my babies (stuffed toys) away if I didn't send them for dry-cleaning.

My mum thought I had diabetes and made me take a blood test for it this morning.
She gave me a looooooonnnggg nagggiiinngg lecture on how terrible diabetes was,
how you'd have to amputate body parts when it gets worse,
and how it'll eventually lead to kidney failures,
how I wouldn't be able to eat what I like anymore yada yada yada.
When she said that I wouldn't be able to eat what I liked anymore,
I started to take the whole diabetes thing seriously.
I won't be able to eat yummy things anymore!
How is one to live without cakes, sweets, lamb chops?
Yeah, Monks and Nuns, but hellooo?
I ain't a monk or a nun.
I can't do that! :(:(
I even stopped eating so much sweets and drinking sweet drinks! (soft drinks, milo, basically any beverage that contains sugar)

So anyway, I took the bloody test this morning.
The result was 4.5.
I was normal. Any figure below 6 is normal.
Phew.
I can eat now yay. :D
Which means I can have my sweets during addmaths tuition later yay. :D

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Its about 5 weeks before the year end exams.
I am SO NOT PREPARED.
I should be memorizing Sejarah facts and practicing more Addmaths.
But instead, I'm watching more anime than ever.

Oooh, speaking of anime, there's another double release of Blood+!
I can't wait til it finishes, that way I can actually start studying..

I kinda miss going to school haha.
Its kinda weird, cos every morning when I have to wake up for school,
I feel that its such a drag and I'd find every excuse to not go to school.
But now.. I kinda wanna go back.
Sigh. I'm weird weird.

Saya
Blood+

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I just finished editting this new template last night.
I found this skin from blogskins.com, and since it looked pretty owhkay and edit-able,
I decided to just use it until I find another.
Besides, I like the theme: Afterglow

I looked up the word 'afterglow' in Britannica.com, and this was what I got:


Main Entry: af·ter·glow
Pronunciation: 'af-t&r-"glO
Function: noun
1 : a reflection of past splendor, success, or emotion
2 : a glow remaining where a light has disappeared


I chose the title Beneath This Facade: Bask In The Afterglow,
perhaps because I yearn for the past, when I thought I had everything I wanted.
I had gotten almost everything I wanted, and that was enough.
I guess I am still basking in its afterglow, refusing to allow the feeling to pass..

Hmm I don't seem to be making much sense.


Anyyywaayyyy, something weird happened to my old template.
It just sort of dissapeared.
One day, I had wanted to link someone, and so I clicked on the template button,
and only less than half of my template loaded.
So I thought mozilla was just lagging, and pressed refresh.
Still my full template did not appear, only less than half of it!
I was panicking. I went to my page,
and everything was still there.
I asked Slimy to check out my template, and he said that the full template was there!
I did not know why I didn't ask him to copy and paste the entire thing to me. =.=
So anyway, I thought if I just left it there, it'll come back after awhile.
You know, when it finishes lagging or whatever.
But it didn't! Instead, it got worse.
My page couldn't be viewed anymore, only the header (picture of the girl) was there.
Nothing else.
So I used one of the blogger templates as a temporary.

I noticed that when there was no cbox my comments seem to have increased..
Hmm perhaps I should remove the cbox. ;P


Wow, I noticed that this post is the longest I have written which is filled with words.
Cos normally when I have a long post, its mostly filled with pictures.



And this concludes the end of this post.
Til we meet again. :)