I NEED SOME FUCKING CLOSURE

K I am pissed. Pissed with anxiety.

Honestly, I don't even know why I'm so anxious.
I know how much I studied (or rather lack thereof), I know how well I did the papers (or rather how badly done), I know every damned thing!

Which means I roughly know what I got. So why am I still so nervous when I know my results are going to be crap?

Isn't nervousness because of the unknown that has yet to be known?

Maybe... maybe it's because I hope, wish and pray to be proven wrong. And when the page finally loads, and I see just what I thought I would see I know that the disappointment isn't going to be any less; even though I pretty much know what Im going to get.


And now I pray. I pray for the strength to cope with disappointment once more, the strength to go forward, despite my fucking up.

I pray for peace within my soul, for sleep to be calm and easy. I pray that my parents would be strong as well, and not too disappointed with me...


Bah. Time to clean, then take a nap. I think 6am GMT meant 2pm local time.