Fickle Pickle!
I am confirmed.
My mom's so stressed all she talks about now are preparations for me to go study in another country.
And I've been trying to stop feeling homesick (I know, I'm feeling homesick even BEFORE I've fuggin left home) but then again, I'd rather feel homesick now and feel less homesick when I get there.
Life is gay. The reason why I wanted to go to the UK is also now the reason why I want to stay.
Fucking fickle pickle.
I was in between sleep and wakefulness the whole 6 hours last night after I'd gotten that confirmation e-mail. Then just now I was trying to take a short nap just now, but the same thing happened. I need to put my mind at ease...
I've to keep reminding myself that this is inevitable. I have to leave the nest some day at some point... and I wanted this. I really wanted this. But now that I have it, I kind of don't want it anymore.
I suppose one of the reasons I feel like this is cos it all came as a shock to me. I thought with my crap results for A lvls I wouldn't be able to go anywhere till next year or a few years down the road and hence wasn't mentally and emotionally prepared.
And then there's the people I have to leave behind... Mummy, Daddy... Leysha...
Aiman.
My current circumstances have made me glad that I had turned into a hermit during the last 3 years. I am so glad I don't have any other can't-live-without friends besides Leysha and Aiman. It would make leaving here so much harder...
Looks like I'll be spending yet another birthday alone.
How apt, I always told my mum I'd become responsible and start taking responsibility seriously when I left my teen years.
And what better way to embrace responsibility than to turn 20 in a very culturally different country with only me to fend for myself.
Well then, goodbyes dinners/lunch/suppers/yumcha sessions/shopping trips are in order.
I want to see MAY YIII, Ashley, Mag, Caryn, Ying Xian, Steph, Syafiq (cute fat boy, now cute SLIM boy), Ken and all my other favorite people whom I grew up with.
K Terry's here so BYE!
My mom's so stressed all she talks about now are preparations for me to go study in another country.
And I've been trying to stop feeling homesick (I know, I'm feeling homesick even BEFORE I've fuggin left home) but then again, I'd rather feel homesick now and feel less homesick when I get there.
Life is gay. The reason why I wanted to go to the UK is also now the reason why I want to stay.
Fucking fickle pickle.
I was in between sleep and wakefulness the whole 6 hours last night after I'd gotten that confirmation e-mail. Then just now I was trying to take a short nap just now, but the same thing happened. I need to put my mind at ease...
I've to keep reminding myself that this is inevitable. I have to leave the nest some day at some point... and I wanted this. I really wanted this. But now that I have it, I kind of don't want it anymore.
I suppose one of the reasons I feel like this is cos it all came as a shock to me. I thought with my crap results for A lvls I wouldn't be able to go anywhere till next year or a few years down the road and hence wasn't mentally and emotionally prepared.
And then there's the people I have to leave behind... Mummy, Daddy... Leysha...
Aiman.
My current circumstances have made me glad that I had turned into a hermit during the last 3 years. I am so glad I don't have any other can't-live-without friends besides Leysha and Aiman. It would make leaving here so much harder...
Looks like I'll be spending yet another birthday alone.
How apt, I always told my mum I'd become responsible and start taking responsibility seriously when I left my teen years.
And what better way to embrace responsibility than to turn 20 in a very culturally different country with only me to fend for myself.
Well then, goodbyes dinners/lunch/suppers/yumcha sessions/shopping trips are in order.
I want to see MAY YIII, Ashley, Mag, Caryn, Ying Xian, Steph, Syafiq (cute fat boy, now cute SLIM boy), Ken and all my other favorite people whom I grew up with.
K Terry's here so BYE!
Labels: random update
posted by hweeching at
7:25 am
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