If this is giving up, then I'm giving up.

I've been pushing everyone away lately; both consciously and unconsciously.
I think there's just something about me these days that's been making all my old close friends inch further and further away from me.

Is it me? Or is this a natural phenomenon that happens to most people?
Will I learn to let go?
Should I let go?


Its like there's this really strong current pushing us apart,
and I am trying my best to swim towards you.
But you're at the other side of the river with your back facing me.

I keep swimming, flailing my arms, kicking hard.
I am tired, so very tired. Physically and mentally.
I want to cry so badly, I want to give up so badly, but no.
I keep trying. And trying, and trying.

You're climbing over the riverbank now,
I call your name, but you don't hear me.
And now you're gone, without even a glance backward.
There's another river flowing now, with its current stronger than ever.
Tracing a pathway down my cheeks.
I stop moving, and am taken away by the current.
My heart resigned, my soul empty.