This House Would Ban Violent Video Games.

OMFGOMFGOMFGOMFGOMFGOMFGOMFGOMFGOMFG.
ITS TOMORROW.
First round of the HELP University College 4th Annual Debate.
I'M SO NERVOUS.
I just KNOW that Ima screw up somehow.
I just hope that I won't screw up too bad.

I'm against St. Micheal's Institution aka Bryan's school tomorrow.
I don't wanna lose in the first rouuunnddddd. :(
I'm so nervous!

What if I forget my speech?
What if I can't answer the POI's?
What if I don't rebutt appropriately?
What if I say something like "Shit" or "fuck" into the microphone like I did last year?
What if I.. what if.. what if.. omfg WHAT IF??

Freaking out freeakin out.

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So anyway,
the last two days have been the epitome of the word "stress".
I've been sooo busy with my debate dicussion sessions and I.U. practices,
I've barely had anytime to think about anything else.

And yeaa, I didn't get a post in the new BOD for DJ's Leo club,
so please, stop asking me if I did, or what post did I get.
My ego is bruised. :(
But at least Joanne P. got president.
I'm reaaaalllyyyy proud of herrr!
From now one, she will be known as Joanne Connolisa Rice Pereirra.
Owh well, I'll still come for Leo meetings. :)

Yesterday morning, as I was on the way to school,
I saw a rainbow. A very pretty one, too.
My mum then said to me, "Girl, today is gonna be a good day for you."
HELL. She was SO wrong.
Yesterday was probably the worst day in the whole year so far.
I just cracked under all the stress and pressure.

First I was so anxious to hear the new BOD announcement,
and a lil dissapointed when I didn't get anything;
then I went back to the library for debate discussions again,
and when I asked to leave for I.U. practice,
I got scolded by Pn. Koh, and she gave me the whole commitment speech.
Then finally when I was allowed to leave,
I went to look for May Ee to tell her I was sorry I skipped the practice.
When I finally found her,
She gave me her why-didn't-you-come-for-practice look,
and after I told her that I had to go home,
she gave me her WHAY?? look.
And got scolded by MayMay also. :(

Then after waiting a couple of minuts which felt like a couple of hours for my transporter to come,
I finally reached my home sweet home.
Then just as I open the door,
my dad come and asks me to sit down so that we could have the about-my-future talk.

When it all finally ended, I went upstairs and cried.
I don't know for what really, I just needed to cry.
Release abit of stress.
I was still pretty wrecked afterthat, but forced myself to tuition.

I notice that I naturally put on a facade when I'm in crouds.
My smiley face and whacky attitude just naturally come out,
even when I'm feeling like a whole load of SHIT inside.
And yesterday, when I smiled, it really really hurt.
I came home exhausted as ever, spiritually.
I msged OldMan, cos he normally understands me and will listen to me.
But instead, this time all he did was chide me for complaining so much.
Thats all he seems to do nowadays.
Chide me for complaining.
Do I really complain that much?

Well, to cut it all short,
I told him how angry and hurt I was that he wouldn't listen to me anymore.

And that was that.
I cried again before I slept,
resulting in swollen eyes this morning.
Sigh.
I sure hope and pray things will get better.