I have nothing left to say

I know I've said this so many times before; but I sometimes wish things didn't turn out the way they did.

I sometimes wish my parents didn't have enough money to send me overseas, that way I would've not went away.

I sometimes wish you had come with me when you said you would, but you couldn't... and deep inside, I know that. It was just easier to put the blame on you rather than admitting that I'm not strong enough.

I sometimes wish I were stupid enough to choose love and not.... not what I chose instead.

I want to scream and cry at the same time and I miss you I miss you I MISS YOU and we're not talking and I know it's for the best heck I even encouraged it SO WHY AM I FEELING THIS WAY I