Beneath This Façade

Shit just keeps piling but I suppose that's how my life rolls

2011-10-31T11:19:00.002Z

Well, to be fair, this one, I brought it upon myself.

I dug a hole, and now I must go lie in it.

Or in Nancy Botwin's words "You made a bed, now go fuck in it"

This is my time to shine.

2011-08-09T11:43:00.002+01:00

I have never done anything fantastic in my life. Never won a competition, never really did well in school, am not extraordinarily good looking, was always on the heavy side.... was always mediocre.

I never tried hard enough or allowed myself to dream; always thinking that I must accept my mediocrity... because I was so afraid of failing. So afraid of feeling disheartened. But I now understand that not doing anything in itself, is failure. Perhaps one even bigger than actually trying and failing.

My 21st year. The hardest so far. My year to finally prove my worth.

Until your guilt goes up in flames

2011-06-24T14:05:00.004+01:00

Ok these are one of the things in life I hate the most; fixing mistakes.

Making mistakes are so easy, you don't even notice when you make them. But then you realise that there are some mistakes which you need to make right, and making things right can be so difficult.

How do you do it? Why is it so hard, even if you are the one who wants it? You know it needs to be done, but yet here you are, writing about it cos you feel this queasiness just thinking about what you have to say (and do) later on it's like you're about to sit for an exam that you know you're not going to do well in.

But though I know I won't do well in this exam... I know I am not going to fail.

Ok. Deep breaths now.

I got bruises on my knees for you

2011-04-30T12:46:00.001+01:00

You know you're not in love when you look at other couples' pictures and feel envious for not having what they have.

Then why am I still doing this?

Innocence is what I've got

2011-02-14T10:33:00.002Z

Stacey's right, you'll get angry at me for anything and everything, because you're just angry at me in general.

Sam's right, I should go completely cold turkey. No more communication for a stretched period of time.

This needs to stop, crying over you. Crying over you on my birthday, on Valentine's Day.

We need to hurt separately, because we can't hurt together anymore. As sad as that sounds, it's true.

I'm going to move on now. You should too.

I have nothing left to say

2011-02-12T22:37:00.002Z

I know I've said this so many times before; but I sometimes wish things didn't turn out the way they did.

I sometimes wish my parents didn't have enough money to send me overseas, that way I would've not went away.

I sometimes wish you had come with me when you said you would, but you couldn't... and deep inside, I know that. It was just easier to put the blame on you rather than admitting that I'm not strong enough.

I sometimes wish I were stupid enough to choose love and not.... not what I chose instead.

I want to scream and cry at the same time and I miss you I miss you I MISS YOU and we're not talking and I know it's for the best heck I even encouraged it SO WHY AM I FEELING THIS WAY I

The Scientist

2011-02-12T22:26:00.002Z

I need to write something down.

There are so many thoughts going around in my head... nobody said it was easy

I think about you all the time. No, not when I'm with this other guy.... but when he's gone, I sometimes find myself here all alone. Alone with you.

He fills my days... and even fills my heart a little. He takes care of me, he's.... here.

I am happy. I am.

Or at least I'd like to think that I am.

I said "hey, girl with one eye"

2010-09-21T18:03:00.002+01:00

Currently in the midst of packing up my stuff to go back to Kingston. I can say that this is when I feel most lost.

You are the only exception

2010-08-30T12:40:00.003+01:00

I'll never forget how you smell today. It's not the way you usually smell... but better.

Goodbyes are difficult.

And we'll be together; this time it's forever

2010-08-11T20:07:00.002+01:00

Ok so I decided to finally start editting this new (I suppose after I've abandoned this blog for so long the skin has kinda become old) blogskin. When I first found it I could picture exactly what I would add in and take out, then told myself that when I had time I'd do it.... and yeah haha that was probably about 4 months ago. Nevertheless, I have time now!

So I changed some stuff around and then looked at the clock and realized that it is 4am. So I am going to sleep. I have this thing where I have to sleep before the sun starts to rise, and if I take an afternoon nap, it has to be at a time that when I wake up, the sun is still up.

Right so I was thinking of staying up another hour or so to catch Grace online, but nah... another day.

Til then. :)

Wow... I am really uninteresting.

A spoon of sugar, sweetens up

2010-08-10T15:57:00.002+01:00

While I was in the shower just a while ago, I had this paranoid thought that I would not be let back into the country (UK) because I overworked one month. And now I'm freaking out HAHA. Ok like Im seriously freaking out.

It would really suck if that happened... like, REALLY suck.

Feels like Im caught in the middle

2010-07-27T05:20:00.002+01:00

I miss Kingston so much. I miss my independence so much. I miss being able to go anywhere at whatever time I want. I miss taking care of myself. I miss feeling like I have my whole life in my own hands. I miss people at work.

But actually... I don't really know what I want right now. BOGGLED

Holy cow.

2010-06-20T23:46:00.003+01:00

It's been a full month since I last posted. I have really become a lazy bitch.

To be fair, nothing's been going on. Well... not nothing, exactly. But nothing I care to speak of anymore.

I am also one sad motherfucker. One really sad motherfucker, I tell you.

Maybe there's nothing more to say

2010-05-17T21:35:00.002+01:00

Only the sky (and that nice old lady with the trolley) knows how I sat and cried my heart out at the bus stop when I read that message.

And only I will know how much weight it added to my already heavy heart.

I miss you.

2010-04-23T00:20:00.000+01:00

"Falling in love with you was like eating chocolate ice cream when I'm having a sore throat - I know I'll feel like shit for a few days after that; but right at that moment, when I'm tasting that bitter-sweetness on my tongue, closing my eyes as I feel the cold ice cream become warm in my chest and feeding spoonful after spoonful into my mouth until there's none left... I know that it was completely worth the shit I am feeling right now."

Maybe if my heart stopped beating, it won't hurt this much.

2010-04-17T19:45:00.002+01:00

Have you ever felt so emotionally hurt that you feel hurt physically as well?

I've fallen down.

2010-04-04T23:47:00.001+01:00

And I can't seem to get back up.

What would I do without you?

2010-03-30T20:32:00.002+01:00

I feel like the lying slut he's singing about in this song.

Random thought

2010-03-20T23:15:00.002Z

You know that email/blog posts about a research done by this person, where s/he asked a bunch of little kids what they thought love was, and they came up with all kinds of cute answers?

After I read that post (a few times) I always asked myself the same question: What do I think is love?

And whilst watching this Jap drama, which was completely unrelated to what suddenly popped into my head, I suddenly remembered something that had happened maybe two or three years ago.

So... I now know what my answer would be; what I think love is.

Love is when a man steps into a pool of urine on the bathroom floor, picks up his wife who has passed out into his arms and carries her out the bathroom to the doctor's.

Haha fuck.

2010-03-09T11:12:00.002Z

Ok it's only 11.14am and I have managed to get irritated at 2 people as well as say a few really mean things.

I hate that I get annoyed so easily. But really, can't you SENSE that someone does not like you?

Can a person be THAT daft???

You'll be my Chris and I'll be your Gwyneth

2010-03-01T22:45:00.002Z

I love Lady Gaga's covers, especially when she changes the lyrics to the songs (which is all the time), she makes them so funny.

Got so much work coming up, and a test this Thursday. So fucking lazy haha.

I haven't yet gotten my results for the assignments I handed up in January, I get so nervous when I think about it. I thought I did alright whilst I was writing them.... but when I reread them, I realised that my English was horrid! Well, what do you expect from something that was written in the wee hours of the morning with not much sleep or rest prior?

AAHHHHHH I hope everything turns out alright.... =/

And I've run out of cooking ideas. I'm so clueless about what groceries to buy every week now because I've no idea what I want to make! Because of that I've been buying salmon and cous cous and rocket salad for the past three weeks. Not that I'm complaining... it's a healthy and yummy dish, but I need some variety!

I tried baking pork chops, and it didn't turn out so well. They aren't too bad... just not as fantastic as I had hoped they would be.

I've been wanting to make lamb mince lasagne for the past two weeks but by the time I get to Sainsbury's at 7pm on a Saturday evening, the lamb mince are all sold out. =.= BAH ANNOYED.

Work has been tiring. Because one of my coworker's girlfriend had just given birth, I had to take over some of his shifts. Not that I'm complaining really, it's just this stupid company has a (strong) tendency to underpay their workers. They forgot to pay me for the hours I worked in December! I was so cheesed when I saw my paycheck =.=

It's around another 4 months til I step foot on Malaysian soil again, and I'm missing Aiman and my parents more and more. Yes, I'm saying 'parents' now and not just mum. As annoying as Daddy is... I think I quite miss him as well. I always feel like sending him a text or something... but don't, because I think it'll be weird. Haha. I know... stupid, right. But I will send him a text... soon.

I kind of don't miss the food anymore. It's like... when you miss someone/something so much it hurts so bad (yes, missing food hurts me) you kind of become numb after awhile.

And I should take better care of my Purpleberry. It looks like I've had it for years now... full of scratches and constantly hanging on me...

Have to stop dropping it and throwing it around haha... then again, I always say that.

Miss having a flip phone... unfortunately I don't like the keypad on the Pearl Flip.

Dear Blackberry company,

Please design a nice Blackberry flip/clamshell phone by April 2011, please.

Yours sincerely,

Hwee Ching Lim

(One of those customers' whose life cannot function properly without the existence of her purpleberry)

Right enough crap in one post... good night.

Oh and baby, you'll be my Chris and I'll be your Gwyneth (a fatter version :p), owhkay?

I can hear my lover call, "Come to me"

2010-02-21T03:03:00.001Z

I'm lying in bed wide awake.

The song "River of No Return" by Marilyn Monroe is playing over and over in my head.

When I close my eyes and try to sleepp, I feel even more awake.

"Oh, there's a river, called The River of No Return... Gone, gone, forever... To be lost in the stormy sea."

There was this CNY thing in the market place outside where I work today. They were playing CNY songs (the irritating kind) and old chinese songs; like the Wong Fei Hong theme song (which reminded me of daddy) and Teresa Teng's 'The Moon Represents My Heart' (which reminded me of mum) and they also had lion dances (which reminded me of my grandma - I felt tears prickling.

Funny how you never know that the last time is the last.

"You'll never return to me..."

Is you big enough?

2010-02-08T01:20:00.003Z

I got this song stuck in my head and I can't stop listening to it.

I'm not a big fan of Rihanna, as many of you well know... But this one is really addictive. Try it out if you haven't already: Rihanna - Rude Boy.

The temperature here in London has been increasing, telling me that Spring is on its way... I have already experienced 2 seasons here and am about to experience the next one. Can't wait to not have to wear a coat when I go out!

I've been eating in massive amounts... I had 4 pots of yoghurt, 3 eggs, a garlic baguette, salmon cous cous salad, 4 pieces of fried chicken with a side of wedges... oh, and a lot of elderflower juice. But no worries, I will lose the weight as summer comes along. Because my money would have run out (from too much shopping) by then. HA! Just nice.

K Im here typing out crap again because I am shit bored and you know your life sucks when the only things you look forward to are classes and work. Actually looking forward to work isn't such a loser thing because when you work you're earning so it kind of is something to look forward to unless you're one of those people who's obsessed with money then you'd just be a loser yes I am digressing...

Right so I spent the whole day eating and watching Cougar Town. How wonderfully unproductive. I really cherish and appreciate days like these because I'm pretty sure I won't be having many days like this in the future.

Which brings me to my next topic. Last night I was bored (haha when am I NEVER bored???) and decided to research a little on summer internships; check out requirements, how to apply, application processes... etc. And then I realised (yes, yet another realisation) that I don't fucking know what I want to do! I know I know, everyone my age is more or less in the same position. But seriously, how does one go about picking a department to intern in when one has no bloody idea what s/he wants to do as a career?

I think it'd be cool and interesting to be an economics journalist, but I think I would end up hating the job. Then I thought since I'm so into trivial things like celeb gossip and clothes and stuff, maybe I should become a journalist in that area. Then again, there are SO many other people aspiring to be one of those and the industry is really quite hard to break in to - but that's just it, what ISN'T hard?

Which brings me to the question: what in the world do I want to do????

I know adults who already have a career path will tell you "Don't worry too much... you'll figure it out as time goes by."

But you see, I need to decide NOW. I want to start working towards something NOW, I need to know NOW!

I really need to see a career counselor.

On that note, I shall end this post abruptly. Goodnight world.

One true love

2010-01-31T23:47:00.002Z

I've been inlove with you since I was 9.
You have been a part of my soul since the first time I saw you dance.

And no one will ever take your place.

Britney.

This is one love I know is forever.

Aiman and I

2010-01-22T23:13:00.006Z

We went and got a tumblr.

He says he'll update consistently. Well I sure hope so :p

Hatchoo!

I'm gona love you anyway

2010-01-21T23:03:00.003Z

I am updating for the sake of updating.

Can't wait for classes to start. I am SO fucking bored. My social life is close to zero, not that I'm complaining actually... I am starting to turn into my father - I can't stand most people around me, and my ego is bigger than the sky... sometimes I think I deserve to be alone. Haha.

Not to mention free time = $$$$.

When the sun comes up (if you've lived in London, you'd have noticed that the sun doesn't come up often) I decide to go to the town center for a walk, soak in some sunshine. Then I happen on TopShop, H&M, River Island, Warehouse, Jane Norman... you get the idea.

And John Lewis. Ah... I go in there just for the home section. Pots, pans, plates, cutlery.... I want to buy them all. But I'll start with a large casserole pot haha. Need something proper to make my lamb stew.

I was just counting the months I've been here and it has only been 4 months. I just finished my first semester of university. Everything seems to have passed by in a flash. This has officially been the longest since I have not slept in my bed in Mutiara Damansara. But when I think of Aiman... the past 4 months suddenly feel like an eternity has passed. I haven't smelled him, held his hand, hugged him, kissed him, played with his curly hair or buttoned his shirt for him in 4 months. 4 very long months.

Oleksandra (my Ukrainian/Czech friend) and I went museum hopping just two days ago, and it so great. I LOVE classical art. Tate Britain and the National History Museum was THE best. I definitely have to go back to Tate Britain again...

And I got more hours at work this week so YAY FOR ME! It's about time that moolah started coming in (from my mommy doesn't count) aahhhh....

Right here's a picture of me in front of Tate Britain:

Feeling so bloody restless...

So let me tell you again and again and again

2010-01-10T23:34:00.002Z

Right so my 20th birthday came and went. I am not no longer a teenager, and for those of you who have me on msn will know that I have changed my nickname.

No more b l i n d e d b y t h e l i g h t * f o x y | HAHAHAH

But my msn email is still sweet n sexy GAHAHHAHA so um yeah will change that in due time. I still feel like a child. Perhaps next year... when I really enter adulthood.

I spent the last week with Jade.... the days passed by so quickly. Time in general has been passing quickly. I know I've been saying that over and over in each post... but it has!

Assignment update: I have managed to complete 2 and a half essays and an online assessment and a short 10 question workbook. Heh. Not much I know... only 5 and a half more essays to go! Everything is due on Wednesday and Thursday, so I need to give it my best til then.

I WILL FINISH ALL THOSE ESSAYS AND HAND THEM UP ON TIME! I SWEAR ON MY... new camera. Yes. I swear on my new camera that they will be done and handed up by the stipulated time.

And Grace came back three days ago I now have my boil porridge person (po tim wa chuk) back WEEEEE~

Owhkay I don't even know why I feel so light I still have 5 and a half fucking more essays to write in the short span of 4 days and here I am typing away a post for my blog when I should be typing away for my essays heh okok so er BYE!

I am too goddamned lazy to post up pictures so just go to my facebook if you reaaallyyy wana see my pictures haha haha ha ha ha I make myself sound like Im so famous HAHA!

P.s.: I miss my Babykins.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck

2010-01-01T21:55:00.002Z

New Year's Eve is so overrated. It is just a landmark in time to show just how long time has gone by; nothing happy about it. So I don't understand why people go "Happy 2010!" or "Have a good 2010" and acting like it's a huge deal when it really isn't. Most of the time, nothing actually changes.

And why "Happy 2010"? How sure are you that 2010 is going to be happy? As well as "Have a good 2010" how sure are you that 2010 will actually be good?

Oh new year's resolutions... _|_ I don't see why people even bother making new year's resolutions when 90% of it doesn't happen anyway. Just a way to assuage a person's guilt for not doing things they were supposed to; with a promise that they will do it in the coming year, when as I've said, probably doesn't happen after that.

Alright fine, some argue that they get all psyched about new years because it's a time to change oneself, to start anew, to adopt better habits and etc well if we go along those lines why don't we celebrate every fuggin day, then? Well as they say, every day is a new day. So why do we choose this one day, the 31st of December to lie to ourselves and make pretense on supposedly future efforts to be better people? Why the hell do we even bother?

I don't know when I became such a cynic.

I have got 8 essays to write, one Library workbook thing, a Micro test and I have not started on even one. I have 14days to finish them, but in actuality I only have 6 days because Jade's coming and we'll be hanging out a lot and yeah I could do it even but honestly, I just can't be arsed. Like right now, I could be using the time to write my essays but here I am, writing crap that's on my mind. As per usual.

I am only beginning to feel the I-may-not-get-them-done-on-time pressure, but it's not big enough to actually make me get down to anything right now. Which sucks... because I do want to, I just... don't want to. I am making sense.

Right, so goodbye, 2009. Goodbye, teenage years and all the rights to irresponsibility. Goodbye, carefree days. Goodbye, childhood.

Hello, Big Bad World. I am ready.

Driving away from the wreck of the day

2009-12-16T01:00:00.002Z

This the ultimate emo song. I suppose the wreck of MY day was the lamb stew which I burnt after almost 3 hours of stewing.

Oh, and all the other shit which I leave unaddressed because I just can't be bothered. And then when I look back and think of all the things I could've and should've done but didn't do I ask myself: Why? When the reason is clear really. I just couldn't be arsed. So now I have to live with the memory of what could have been.

I miss Grace. I am ashamed to say that I am feeling lost and alone without her. I have got no one to ping when Im feeling annoyed or when I've discovered some good food, no one to ping when I'm bored, no one to tell me not to do things I shouldn't be doing.

And as usual, I am losing touch with the people who matter. Happened with May when I went to college, and now with Leysha. I will make more effort, I promise.

It's 1.05am, and I don't feel like sleeping. My mind is on a roll tonight, whole bunch of random things going around in my head. I am feeling strangely numb, and a little empty.

I know I should stop feeling like this, because it brings Aiman down. I need to stop feeling so shitty. I need to start looking forward, and stop faltering.

Since I got here, I've just been trudging ahead. Looking straight, lifting one foot forward and then the other and not stopping to look around, because I know if I do I'll notice that I'm actually really quite lost. So I just keep walking.

Even this blog, which has become deserted. Feels like you were once in a room telling the many people gathered to listen, but now the room is empty, and only your voice echos off the walls.

Then you sit there, by yourself.

Listening to the sound of your own voice. Reverberating, loud and clear.

What do you do now?

Why the hell does my hot chocoffee taste SALTY?

2009-12-10T22:00:00.002Z

Owhkay Grace and Wei Kit are going home this weekend, and coming back on the 7th and 8th. Siang, Jade and Joe are coming down on the 22nd but going traveling on the 23rd and only coming back on the 2nd of Jan. So that's pretty much all the friends I would want to spend Christmas and New Year's with.

And that also leaves me, alone. So I'm going to Reading to stay with my cousins and not be alone :(
Also since Jon is in Portsmouth (and I assume it's near to Reading HAHA) maybe I'll go hang with him a day or two.

Other news; my hair is falling off my head in bunches. No shitz.
It's like the tress in autumn, where the leaves are falling off, particularly when the wind blows. In this case, when I run my fingers through my hair a few strands come off without fail. If this keeps up I'm going to bald.

No shitz.

Then I go on facebook and see all my friends at home; clubbing, hanging out, doing shit- and I feel crappy. I wanna go back to those times where I felt safe... where I felt like I belonged.

But I suppose this is what I am supposed to feel, right? Being out on my own in a different place. Far, far away from all that I know.

But somehow I think that these feelings began some time ago, probably in the middle of form 4.

I had moved to a class where none of my clique was in and I had to sort of make close friends all over again. It was then that I lost some friends, confidence, assertion, determination and some of what used to be my huge self esteem.

Suddenly, I was in the middle.

But of course, I gained a lot as well. I made friends with my classmates (May Yi I still love you x 100) and I saw the different social circles in a whole different way- but still, I felt like I didn't belong. May Yi made everything better those two years, but when I went to college I felt the same way again.

After that I just got used to being on my own. Sitting on my own staring into space without even pretending to be texting or surfing the net on my phone, eating on my own, shopping on my own, swimming on my own- with my thoughts as company.

Even when Leyshani and I became bestfriends, I could not and would rather not hang out with anyone else other than her, May Yi and of course, Aiman.

I've become such a hermit without even noticing it- in my little shell, reluctant to come out for anything.

I miss being sure about myself, about knowing where Im supposed to go and what Im supposed to do.

Bah well enough of this self expository shit I should change my blog layout and I should go for my 9am lecture tomorrow haha I've been skipping it for the past 3 weeks because 9am is just too friggin early.

Oh right, hot chocoffee = Hot chocolate + coffee.

I wonder how is it that I don't look like I'm balding when this much of hair is falling off my head every day.

I'll be cutting my hair this weekend. Adeline once told me that when she felt like she needed to get rid of bad juju, she'd cut her hair. Made her feel liberated, she said. So that's what I'll do. Feel liberated.

No, I won't be cutting my hair.

Grace will.

You're the one thing I got right, the only one I let it inside

2009-12-01T10:54:00.002Z

Today is the 1st of December, and in about a month and 2 days I will be 20 years old. I would have completed the 2nd decade of my life.

Every time my mum scolded me because I did something irresponsible, whether on purpose or by accident, I would tell her: "Mummy, I'll be responsible when I'm no longer a teenager. Currently, I still have the right to be irresponsible."

And in a month and 2 days, I will be losing this right to irresponsibility.

No more excuses when I fuck something up. Nobody can brush off my mistakes anymore, especially me, with the reason "she's just a child".

Because I am no longer a child. The time is here.

It's time to grow up.

Imagine all the people, sharing all the way

2009-11-28T23:26:00.000Z

So my period has been coming frequently and I was really freaked out the morning two days ago when I woke up and found blood on my panties because I thought my period had just come like 2 weeks ago??? But apparently not after properly recalling it has already been 28 days so yes my period is just on time which means TIME IS PASSING SO GODDAMNED FAST but it's good in a way now it's only 6 months and one week until the day I will hold my Aiman again and fall asleep in my mother's lap and annoy and fight with my dad and eat yummy cheap food and watch movies with my Aiman so yay for time passing quickly wooooo!

Today I went to Camden market with Jon and Wei Kit and Jasmine and May Ee and we walked around looking at things I wanted to buy this cute warm woolen beanie but I didn't because it was £10 and I couldn't bear to spend £10 so I didn't buy it and then on the way to dinner I dropped the £10 =.= fuck me laaaa should've just bought the bloody thing AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH dkaldksdlkj;AKD;LEKPOWTLSKVML [;lk;sljpojaelksdl pissed at myself and life and then we were supposed to go to the fair in Hyde Park it's call Winter Wonderland but it fucking started RAINING and I practically walked under the rain to get to places and tube stations mahai EVEN MORE pissed at myself because I decided to wear my coat which didn't have a hood that could shield me a little from the rain and EVEN MORE pissed with life for being so shitty and no one has called me back about the job applications DIU knnccbaswdjklasdjklasdjklasdjkl BAH.

They looked so cute huddled together on the steps

Failed picture. Just shows how long I have not went out and had an outing worthy of picture-taking.

Little boy :)

HA! I still got it in meeeee

Do you see two couples?

Hint: There's one on the bed.

Jon so henskem ^^

For you, Babykins. I miss you.

Right so Im going to go sleep now and pray that life gets better tomorrow.

A domesticated girl, that's all you ask of me

2009-11-19T21:03:00.002Z

I am eating cereal.

Frosties with cold fresh milk (well not really fresh, can smell that it's a bit sour already; can't taste the sourness because frosties are sweeet)

I am eating Frosties because I wanted something cold and sweet. Like ice cream.

Or a butter pecan cream pie. Or a piece of cold cheese cake.

But I can't have any of those. Because I have no money.

And also because Im so lazy to walk out at this hour to look for food like that.

But mainly because I have no money.

So I'm eating frosties. Yay.

Hands, biceps, penis

2009-11-10T17:53:00.003Z

Hehe my stupid Aiman kena marah.

He was telling me about how much he wants this game Left 4 Dead or whatever (he plays CS and ~~DotA~~ (apparently he doesn't play this anymore, which makes him even more lifeless as he spends so much of his waking time on the same game =.=) every minute of his waking life when he's not in class, sleeping, eating or talking to me) and as usual, jokingly asks me to buy it for him. The game is USD39.99 or something.

We were on Skype when this conversation happened.

[5:49:33 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: eat my shit
[5:49:41 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: Boxing day
[5:49:48 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: Ima buy new duvet cover
[5:49:51 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: and new bed sheets
[5:49:55 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: a pot set
[5:49:57 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: a knife set
[5:49:59 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: a blender
[5:50:06 PM] aimanyusra: wa
[5:50:06 PM] aimanyusra: lol
[5:50:07 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: and maybe one or two new clothes
[5:50:13 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: I miss having good cooking utensils
[5:50:13 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: k
[5:50:13 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: k
[5:50:19 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: you and your GAMES ISH
[5:50:21 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: OH
[5:50:21 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: BUT
[5:50:23 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: I HAVE A GOOD IDEA
[5:50:29 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: You come here for Christmas la...
[5:50:33 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: THEN YOU BUY YOURSELF
[5:50:34 PM] Lim Hwee Ching: DIU

You know, when I read this conversation again it reminds me of how a mother tells her son off when he asks for things. Hehehe.

Love youuuuu bububuubububub!

Hello, don't tell me you know? Yeah, you've figured me out. Something gave it away.

2009-11-09T18:02:00.002Z

I'll find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me, if it kills me

I lay on my bed looking at the clothes stand I bought from Wilkinson's for £7.99.

It's been wobbly for awhile now, in fact it fell over a couple of times already.

I looked at the legs, where a screw is supposed to be screwed in tight there. but because I was lazy and I didn't have a screwdriver I didn't bother.

So every time I take a piece of clothing off the rack, I have to steady it, so it wouldn't fall over. It's slanting to the side now, and the slightest movement will make it tip over.

There's a plastic joint holding two pieces of the metal together, and even that is cracking already because of the whole thing constantly slanted to the left side.

I think I could fix it if I got a screwdriver and screwed in the screws properly... before it really falls apart for good.

I think it might kill me

I need to go get a screwdriver.

All I really wana do is to love you...

It's 6 degrees outside, but so much colder inside.

2009-11-09T11:49:00.002Z

I brow-beated Leysha into making cupcakes with me, because the ones she made were so so good.

<3

They all oozed out of the thin paper cups, just as Leysha said they would, but I insisted they wouldn't.

BLOOOOD...

haha no, colouring.

Packing to leave was the hardest thing I had ever done.

But later on I had found the answer to the question, How Do You Pack 19 years of Your Life into A Suitcase?

Answer: You don't. You just take what's important, and leave the rest.

Which was exactly what I did.

Haha I know I look ugly here.

We were at Pavilion that day.

Before I left, Leysha came over to help me clean out my room. And I found this!

Hahah yes right Eryn Lim Hwee Ching how lame :p

KAMPUNG NAKED BEACH!

I found my diary from when I was Form 3, and inside I found a note a friend had passed me during class.

I hung the blue keychain Sabrina had given me for Christmas 2004. It was supposed to drive away bad spirits haha.

I thought I was artsy fartsy. haha.

The good ol' days. When I was reading my old diary I felt like the carefree child I was then.

Moving on is sad, but it has to be done.

I spent a lot of time with this book.

The highest mark I'd ever achieved in Terry's tests.

"Why won't my clothes dry? :( "

It gets so hard I just want to give up

2009-10-30T17:22:00.002Z

I want to scream and pull the hair out of my head.

It hurts so bad; I wish you would man up a bit. Just a bit.

It's time to grow up.

I don't know you at all

2009-10-28T22:21:00.002Z

I was reading up a bit on my econs just now and got bored so I went blog hopping! I do that a lot when I'm bored. Or facebook profile hopping. It's entertaining to see what people write in the profiles, on their statuses, the pictures they put up, their take on all kinds of issues, or just simply talking about how their day went or how smelly their fart was (Wei Kit).

Owhkay I have just revealed to the world that I am actually very lifeless. Nevertheless!

Hahahaha and just as I typed out "I am actually very lifeless" I got a ping from Grace saying "-.- get a life ching". :(

But yeah there was a point to this post. Owhkay what the fuck I can't remember.

Right yeah nevermind I got loads indifference curve shit to read bah!

Uncertainty

2009-10-25T20:45:00.007Z

I was feeling bored, so I thought I'd blog. By 'blog', I mean posting up pretty pictures of myself haha!

Well not just pictures of myself, they're actually pictures taken from some Malaysian event thing held at TigerTiger. Right so first I logged in to my photobucket, and it was being bitchy (has been since God knows how long ago aahhh sheez man photobucket, what happened? You used to be so reliable!) it would say upload complete, but my pictures would be nowhere to be found =.=. So I thought I'd use flickr instead but then I'd forgotten my yahoo ID and it was too troublesome to sign up for a new one so I resorted to using blogger to upload my pictures instead.

That night at TigerTiger was pretty alright for me, the DJ played all the mainstream songs which I like (yes, I am part of the masses) so I had a good time with the music.
Had some pre-party drinking in Grace's room with Sainsbury's vodka with Wei Kit and May and Grace so we wouldn't have to spend obscene money buying drinks in the club (yes, we are cheap that way) it was fuuun I was all happy and May Ee and Wei Kit kept eating frosties haha after we were done I had to do my makeup in a tipsy stupor, kept drawing eyeliner too thick on the bottom lid of my right eye =.= but all turned out well and off we went!

May Ee knows how to have a good time

Someone was handing out glow sticks

Wei Kit has a good time, eh? hehe. Hehehehehe.

Don't ask me, I don't know what's up with the hand signs.

Yes, it got a bit sien after awhile.
We're sorry , Hui Sien from Imperial College, for abusing your table sign.

Wore my new eyeshadow by BarryM; I have to say I am likinggg it.

And my face is becoming too round. =.=

Then again, my boyfriend calls me 'fattykins'. I may as well live up to the name.
I mish you Mr. Skinners. :(

Right so Ima go eat cereal now. Yummy frosties!

x

Oh, how I love Joe Hisaishi and the way he loves music.

I want my mommy.

2009-10-24T23:09:00.000+01:00

It's at times like these when you really wish you had not left home.

Am currently wearing my NS pj clothes and another thick hoodie over and huddled underneath my thick duvet and am still cold.
Stupid paracetamol tablets don't seem to be working I keep feeling cold then hot then cold then hot and my head is throbbing I WANT MY MOMMY :( :( :(
I want Aiman to usap-usap my hair and kiss me on the temples of my head and tell me I'll be alright I want my dad to fuss over me and force me to go to the doctor's-

I want to go home :(

Oh and this week's Grey's episode was good on a totally different level.

Money, money, money.

2009-10-18T22:00:00.004+01:00

Owhkay I know I keep saying that I need to get a job but I never get around to it.

SO, at the top of my to-do list tomorrow is:

WRITE A CV followed by START DROPPING THEM AT EVERY FREAKING COMPANY I CAN FIND.

Ok. I MUST do these things tomorrow.

Im going to go buy stuff to make lasagna as well hehe. YES, GRACE? :D

And today I was so bored I had decided to walk to Iceland (as in the grocery store, sort of like Tesco, but they have the CHEAPEST packed food ever LOVE IT- I'm starting to pick up Grace's taglines). I decided to walk there because after google-mapping the directions, it seemed fairly simple.

So off I went! Google maps said it'd take 30 minutes; I left at 2.45pm and arrive at 4.15pm.
Well I have no sense of direction (Aiman and Leysha can vouch for this, I've been the cause of much frustration and wasted time and fuel in the past) so I think that was why I took so long haha.

Then after I was done buying my yummy packed frozen food (all for only £1 each!) I walked to the opposite side of the road to walk back, then saw a bus stop. And on the bus route poster I saw the code for the bus that would take me to almost directly in front of my place. Haha. As Wei Kit would put it: Epic fail.

Well, it was not allll time wasted, I found out that the buses did travel in so deep, and I exercised by brisk walking! (I tell myself this so that I won't feel so bloody stupid haha =.=)

Yes so enough of wasting time, I must hit the books now. No, I know it's only been 3 weeks since uni started, 2 weeks since classes started (1st week was induction) but no, I am not being a geek. My micro 1 lecturer (as hot as he is) sent us all an email saying "In-class test on Wednesday morning, please be at (venue) at 11am sharp. Bring along with you a pencil, ruler and a non-programmable calculator."

Right and I was thinking of clubbing on Tuesday night haha!
Hence, why I need to hit the books now.

x

Edit (10.44pm)

I just reread the email my lecturer sent out and it said:

The in class test will take place on Wednesday 11th November. Please come to room JG0003, at 11.00 sharp. You are allowed to bring along a ruler, pencil, eraser and a basic calculator (only models allowed are Casio; FX83 or FX85 variant (with or without suffix).

Wednesday, 11th November.

11th November.

FUCK ME PLS.

I WANT TO EAAAT

2009-10-15T17:18:00.003+01:00

I have this sudden urge to go to Lidl and Sainsbury's and Wilkinson's to buy lasagna ingredients (Lidl for the ground beef and tomato chunks in puree and carrots and mushrooms, Sainsbury's for the flour and unsalted butter and ground nutmeg, Wilkinson's for a baking tray =.=) and make lasagna aaahhhh I am THIS close to doing that right now but I've already overspent on grocoeries this week :(

I shall make Bangers and Mash and Lasagna next week! Yes yes I shalllllll omg excited.
Quite bored today, Babykins has went out for Jeremy's birthday so no skypy skypy, Leysha has fallen asleep (I think, she hasn't been replying me or answering skype) and everyone in my flat is out (not that I hung out with them anyway) all that's left to do is... eat. Owhkay fine I still got stuff to study but screw that I'd rather eat and catch up on Gossip Girl.

Should I go get lasagna stuff now? Should I sshooooouulllddd I?
SO TEMPTED OMGOMGOMG aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Ok I shall make lasagna during the weekend. Now, I will do my laundry. And watch Gossip Girl. And ping Grace. Oh, and finish my reading, of course.

Now which should I do first :(

AAAHHHH SHOOT ME PLS

2009-10-15T01:20:00.002+01:00

What a freaking unproductive day. I want to kill myself aaahhhhhhhh

I PROMISE I WILL BE LESS OF A PROCRASTINATOR AND MORE OF A HARD WORKER TOMORROW IF NOT I WILL STARVE MYSELF!

No wait, starving myself isn't good enough cos then I'll be slim and that isn't exactly a punishment so umm...

I PROMISE I WILL BE LESS OF A PROCRASTINATOR AND MORE OF A HARD WORKER FOR IF NOT I WILL BE CURSED TO... I can't think of anything. =.=

Suggestions please?

If you be my boat, I'll be your sea

2009-10-14T16:33:00.001+01:00

Hey baby.. this is a reply to your long sms to me this afternoon.

Dear Babykins,

When I found out that I actually had the chance to go to the UK to study, I called you up right away and asked you if I should do it. And the exact words you said to me were, "Do it la, you want it so much.". When I called you I was half wishing you'd tell me not to go. Wishing you'd have told me to go to Aussie instead, just so we could have a few more months together. But you told me to do what I wanted to. You supported me like I knew you would.

Well, the next few months are going to be hard, but nothing we can't handle. Every time I talk to someone from back home and they say things like, "it's gna be so long more til we get to see each other againnn" I always tell them that time will fly past really quickly, and before you know it, I'll be home already. But I won't say that to you, because every time I think of you, and seeing you and holding you again; 8 months feels like forever. And I'm sure you think the same way too.

But I know it will work out, I know that WE will work out; because first and foremost (I've probably told you this a thousand times before) you are my best friend. You are one of the people whom I hold closest to my heart, one of the very few people I actually cannot bear to lose, and cannot bear to live without. And I know that right now, you see me in the same light.

Though we may be 7800miles away from each other physically, I feel that spiritually we have never left each others side. Not even for a moment.

So on this day, the day you first kissed me in my car a year ago, I want to thank you for loving me the way you have, and for continuing to love me in the many years to come.

I won't give up; I love you.

Happy 1 year to you, too.

Fairy tales don't always have a happy ending, do they

2009-10-14T14:27:00.003+01:00

Well, it's been a month since I got here.

It feels like I just left home yesterday. Maybe it's because I don't have any friends yet HAHA :( But yeah I've become such a hermit I've not been trying to make friends either heh.

I've been going to Central London to hang with Grace (and May Ee) during the weekends; we've been shopping (well Grace and I have been window shopping haha) and eating yummy food.

All of which has made me very poor and which is why I won't be going again this weekend haha!

Well last week Jon came from Portsmouth for the weekend and so the few of us (Wei Kit, May, Grace and I) went around shopping eating shopping eating and talking cock.

Oooh and Jon belanja-ed May and I Angus Steakhouse heeeeeee I didn't take any pictures of food or anything whilst we were there cos I was too busy stuffing myself haha.

K random pictures I'm skyping with Aiman right now and I can't talk to him and write at the same time my multi tasking skills (or rather lack thereof) are no good.

My eyebags are huge man wtf

The guys shopped more than the girls ok they even tried on skinny jeans and apparently they look really good in them HAHA

What I love most about England: The architecture of the buildings.

Chinatown! Best place haha

In the tube on the way to somewhere

In the tube coming back from somewhere

Jon looks so cutteee righttt

Omg... Jon is TALL? I know the last time you saw him he was short as ever but he had a sudden growth spurt and now he is tall!

Oh haha he's not tall! He's just getting in touch with his foxy feminine side by wearing May Ee's 7 inch heels haha.

May Ee was going to wear her heels out but decided against it since she would be towering over him. I was like "aiyaaa nothing one laaa" but after she put them on and stood beside him, I finally understood what she meant. Hahahahhaa poor Jon :)

Trafalgar Square

Double decker bus

Duno what building this is haha

Balloons in the sky!

ORGASMIC DUCK RICE. SRSLY.

If you people are in malaysia pls go to Tmn Paramount and eat Sunrise duck rice pls it is TEH BOMB and is only about RM12 each ok I paid £5 that's like RM30 for this dish. But money well spent, I don't regret it at all.
Grace said I ate with such relish that even she, a non-meat person, wanted to try it too. She then commenced taking ugly pictures of me while I was eating hahaha.

Ahhhhhhh thinking about it makes my mouth fill with saliva...

The best part of the duck, the skiiinnn oooooommmgggggg

AAHHHH k you know what I am going to Grace's place again this weekend I must have this duck rice agaaiiin. Also cos Im craving for nasi lemak sigh.

Ah right that's all for this post I need to go catch up on some reading now before I get reaaallllyyy left behind. =/

Mmmm potatoes.

I like Taylor Swift.

2009-10-12T16:35:00.003+01:00

I am sleepy. I don't know why I'm sleepy.

I don't know why the right side of my jaw is sore. I have not been kissing anybody or chewing anything tough, but right now I can't open my mouth to it's usual width and it is annoying. =.=

I am blogging because I am bored waiting for Aiman to finish playing stupid CS and for my PurpleBerry desktop application to finish installing.

I have what I think is a muscle ache at the back of my left knee.

I think it's because of shopping for hours on both Saturday and Sunday on Oxford and Regent Street. The muscle ache is even crappier than it would be because I spent hours window shopping, not actually shopping.

I bought myself a coat from Zara, because I need a coat. I really wanted that lace top from H&M, that pair of faded grey skinnies from Zara, and sheer hosiery from TopShop.

My writing skills suck, I start each sentence with an "I". But right now I'm just too sleepy to even try and improve my writing skills. Or rather, lack thereof.

Oh, and all the shoes in Zara as well.

DID YOU KNOW that those pretty pretty Zara shoes you see in 1U or Midvalley or BV or whatever mall in Malaysia are only £30????

In Ringgit that's like RM180 ONLY OK?

The usual pair of Zara Woman shoes cost RM400+. I wanted to cry. I wanted to spend my entire years allowance and just buying every freaking pair in my size from both the Zara stores in Oxford St.

But I didn't even buy one pair, because I know how hard my parents have worked for me to come here- so I promised myself that with my first part time job salary, I will buy myself a pair of those shoes. And a printer.

Wait a sec I need to restart my pc.

BIG HUGGEERSS

2009-10-08T10:57:00.002+01:00

I think you should know by now how much I love you-

I saw you for the first time in three weeks, and I cried.

I love you.

What would my momma do? Uh oh, uh oh.

2009-09-18T19:49:00.002+01:00

Mmm Im liking Pixie Lott. Grace has weird songs on her Mac and I'm liking them.
Im also starting to like the Mac. It's pretty cooollll and the keyboard is so much nicer to type.
Actually I can't say if it's nicer to type or not because I have not actually typed much with my own laptop.

I took so many tourist-y pictures of places Grace has taken me to in London, but I can't seem to remember where my usb cable is. Haha. Hahahaha.

I've had a little home sickness, but not much yet, I think it's cos Im still staying with Grace and not completely on my own... yet.

At least I'm on the way to fully settling down, still have a few more things to do and I'm allll set.
Can't wait for that to happen.

Actually, I don't miss home. I just miss the people. Mommy, Daddy, Leysha.... Aiman.

Right pray everything else goes smoothly. Till the next post, take care people.

As will I.

I suppose the RM50 I spent on a new tube of mascara was entirely worth it.

2009-09-10T15:28:00.002+01:00

I just hate it when I go to a place to buy something, but end up not getting it because it isn't there/doesn't fit/wrong colour and I end up buying something else which I don't need.

So this time I went to Tesco to look for the camera shop cos my old camera had finally spoiled. I went there, and it wasn't there. Instead, Shins took its place.

Shins is a shop which sells beauty products (like Sasa), they have a few different brands of make up.

So I went in anyway (cos I like makeup haha) and saw this tube of mascara which I had tried on like years ago but never bought cos it's 50 bucks.

The mascara I've been using this whole while has been Majorlica Majorca. May Ee bought me one tube, and Lynn gave me another. So I've been using this brand for the past 3 years, and I've just finish one tube. Meaning, I have yet to finish another.

I am usually reluctant to take out an RM50 note toi pay for a tube of mascara, because I am a cheapo.
But I bought that tube of Loreal mascara anyway. Because I was pissed that the camera shop wasn't opened. It said on the tube; Waterproof and Volume Constructing.

So tonight I had a reunion with my 5 Merbau classmates, so I put on some makeup, that mascara included.

Then I spoke to you on the phone.

Now I am crying so hard, it is difficult to type. But I can see my reflection in the glass in front of me, and my mascara isn't smudging.

I am also wearing quite a thick layer of Shu Uemura black eyeliner and it isn't smudging either (this I discovered 3 years ago when I went swimming with it and it didn't smudge even a little) so there is only clear tears running down my cheeks onto my Shit Happens t-shirt, not black streaks.

RM50 well spent, I would say.

Oh, and RM65 (Shu Uemura eyeliner, I highly recommend) also well spent. As usual.

Staying up late makes me hungry

2009-09-09T18:20:00.002+01:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

DON'T SPEAAAKKK I KNOWW JUST WHAT YOU'RE SAYIINGGGG

2009-09-07T03:54:00.004+01:00

SO PLEASE STOP EXPLAINING, DON'T TELL ME COS IT HUUURRTTTSSSS NOOO NOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Im singing (no, make it trying to sing) to No Doubt's 1997 hit 'Don't Speak' at the top of my lungs because I like to do that when Im alone.

Like the other time when I was at work and I was singing (what song was that again?) at the top of my lungs and aunty Kian Huat came up to see if anything was wrong. Haha!

I just got my wisdom tooth taken out yesterday morning. Aiman kindly drove me to the dentist and waited there for me while I got my WISDOM extracted and then kindly took me to the grocery store to buy some straws (so I could drink stuff) and campbell's soup to drink so I could take my meds.

Then he lovingly let me lie on his lap while he usap-usap-ed my hair (I love it when he does that, calms me down so much... I'd usually fall asleep when he does that, but this time the pain was quite excruciating so his usap-usap-ing merely calmed me down) mmmm and I so love to smell him!

Haha ok I know this is the most PDA post I've written here so far but I can't help it :( I'll be gone for 9 months (or more) and then back for 2 to 3 months and then gone again...

But we'll make it, won't we, Babykins?

Right so I have a treat for you, oh dear Blog! PICTURES!

Ok photobucket is bitchy.
But nvm it's only a few pictures so I'll go one by one!

Aiman getting his curls trimmed

Final Destination is one of the stupidest, money wasting movies, EVER.

Aiman patiently waiting for me at the Dental Clinic. HAHA.

I was going to upload a few more until I realised that I had cut and pasted my entire picture folder into my laptop (yes, one of the fun parts about going overseas to study, you get a new laptop!) cos you know, don't want parents snooping around my (private) pictures while Im gone haha.

So yes, that's it for today! I'm going to go gargle oral wash now, don't want my gaping wisdom tooth hole (hahaha I like how I just retardedly described that!) to get all bacteria-infested. Oh crap... maybe that's why I had a fever when I woke up this morning. @@

Excruciating pain

2009-09-05T03:30:00.001+01:00

"Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever."- Lance Armstrong

Im infected by the sound

2009-09-04T08:50:00.003+01:00

I am loving Cascada's Evacuate the Dance Floor. I'd better stop listening to it lest I get sick of it in a few days (as usual =.=). I expected the video to be filled with some good dancing but it wasn't... well it was, but, it wasn't. Get what I mean?

Watch it pls.

Mmmm feel like dancing.

It's been a really stressful few days. Make that the past two weeks.
I need to de-stress... but I've a feeling it's going to take some time before it goes away. After all, change does cause stress.

And stress makes me lose my appetite.

I am just so tired.

P/s: will be leaving for London in 11 days.

Great.

2009-08-30T17:20:00.002+01:00

My wisdom tooth has decided to grow.

It's like I don't have enough other things to worry about. Like getting my visa approved on time, missing Aiman, packing, finding accommodation, finding a job there.

Now my wisdom tooth is growing. Yay. Just... yay.

Fickle Pickle!

2009-08-26T07:25:00.003+01:00

I am confirmed.

My mom's so stressed all she talks about now are preparations for me to go study in another country.

And I've been trying to stop feeling homesick (I know, I'm feeling homesick even BEFORE I've fuggin left home) but then again, I'd rather feel homesick now and feel less homesick when I get there.

Life is gay. The reason why I wanted to go to the UK is also now the reason why I want to stay.

Fucking fickle pickle.

I was in between sleep and wakefulness the whole 6 hours last night after I'd gotten that confirmation e-mail. Then just now I was trying to take a short nap just now, but the same thing happened. I need to put my mind at ease...

I've to keep reminding myself that this is inevitable. I have to leave the nest some day at some point... and I wanted this. I really wanted this. But now that I have it, I kind of don't want it anymore.

I suppose one of the reasons I feel like this is cos it all came as a shock to me. I thought with my crap results for A lvls I wouldn't be able to go anywhere till next year or a few years down the road and hence wasn't mentally and emotionally prepared.

And then there's the people I have to leave behind... Mummy, Daddy... Leysha...

Aiman.

My current circumstances have made me glad that I had turned into a hermit during the last 3 years. I am so glad I don't have any other can't-live-without friends besides Leysha and Aiman. It would make leaving here so much harder...

Looks like I'll be spending yet another birthday alone.

How apt, I always told my mum I'd become responsible and start taking responsibility seriously when I left my teen years.

And what better way to embrace responsibility than to turn 20 in a very culturally different country with only me to fend for myself.

Well then, goodbyes dinners/lunch/suppers/yumcha sessions/shopping trips are in order.

I want to see MAY YIII, Ashley, Mag, Caryn, Ying Xian, Steph, Syafiq (cute fat boy, now cute SLIM boy), Ken and all my other favorite people whom I grew up with.

K Terry's here so BYE!

GET IT TOGETHER, WOMAN

2009-08-21T13:28:00.002+01:00

It's time. Every one needs to grow up some time.

And my time is now. I may not want to leave my home, Aiman, Leysha and all that are important behind, but this is just how life works.

To open another door, I have to close the one behind me first.

I am so scared. So, so afraid. In fact, for a while I couldn't even remember why I wanted to leave in the first place.

But I remember now. And as much as I don't want to... it's time to spread my wings and leave the nest.

Wish me luck, everyone! For I am already homesick, even before I have left.

I NEED SOME FUCKING CLOSURE

2009-08-20T01:56:00.003+01:00

K I am pissed. Pissed with anxiety.

Honestly, I don't even know why I'm so anxious.
I know how much I studied (or rather lack thereof), I know how well I did the papers (or rather how badly done), I know every damned thing!

Which means I roughly know what I got. So why am I still so nervous when I know my results are going to be crap?

Isn't nervousness because of the unknown that has yet to be known?

Maybe... maybe it's because I hope, wish and pray to be proven wrong. And when the page finally loads, and I see just what I thought I would see I know that the disappointment isn't going to be any less; even though I pretty much know what Im going to get.

And now I pray. I pray for the strength to cope with disappointment once more, the strength to go forward, despite my fucking up.

I pray for peace within my soul, for sleep to be calm and easy. I pray that my parents would be strong as well, and not too disappointed with me...

Bah. Time to clean, then take a nap. I think 6am GMT meant 2pm local time.

Reminders

2009-08-19T02:38:00.002+01:00

1. Call up the stationery supplier and order stationery
(a) Files
(b) Paper Clips
(c) Marker ink refills

2. Take out the trash

3. Stop fretting about my results. I didn't start studying early enough, and I ain't that smart. SO STOP FRETTING.

4. If my results are crappy, don't be too disappointed. It was to be expected.

5. Start planning after getting results. No time to lose.

Sigh.

=/

2009-08-16T06:48:00.001+01:00

I am aching inside...

and I don't know what to do.

TIRED BALLS

2009-08-15T06:54:00.003+01:00

Shit I need rest.

I miss staying home and doing nothing all day.

Went to Tesco with Mummykins the other day and bought ingredients to bake Potato Dauphinois but I think I won't have the time till Tuesday evening but by then my potatoes would have already germinated. =.=

Bah! Im so bad at organizing time. No, make that organizing in general. =/

My room is a pig sty, my office desk is better than that but pretty much the same (I keep losing receipts UURRGGHHH but there's sweet, helpful Kelly who always finds them for me <3) and Terry keeps telling me I need to start organizing but HOWWW? :(

And there's this fucking annoying fella on facebook who keeps suggesting I become a fan of himself =.= note that I do not even know this annoying motherfucker! Which is why I've been filtering my friends requests; if you do not know me personally and you add me on facebook resulting in my declining, no hard feelings ok.

Btw, that guy's name is Terri K.wei. First I thought he added me cos he was interested (haha k I know I am quite full of myself) but then after looking at his profile a bit I realize that he has a girlfriend whom he loves very much! (Apparently la, according to his facebook statuses, etc.)

SO WHY THE FUCK YOU ADD ME? Trying to accumulate like 1000 over friends is it? Trying to get popular? BAH SO ANNOYED.

What annoys me the most is that after adding me, he keeps sending me those suggestion thingies to 'become a fan of Terri Woon'.

I've declined 5 times. And he just keeps sending it again!

I mean, when someone declines, TAKE A HINT YOU FOOL!

Alright I know this does not really affect my daily life and I'm quite blowing things out of proportion again, but nevertheless I am SO irked.

Maybe it's because I am quite exhausted... all this working and then going to the mall and then working and then clubbing and etc etc is wearing me out.

I should go clean now if I want to get back for a few hours of sleep before the next partying session.

I am angry with you.

2009-08-12T17:15:00.001+01:00

Post removed.

For I am a coward.

I miss my mommykins.

2009-08-05T05:37:00.002+01:00

I am at work, waiting for Leysha to come pick me up so we can go and eat at McD's.

She is late. As usual. But it's owhkay Leysha baby I still love you!

I have realized lately that I do not like being so independent. I really don't.

I can't even remember why I wanted my driver's license so much, because most of the time I hate driving myself.

I don't like driving to college, there's no fucking parking.
I don't like driving to work, because parking is cut throat.
I don't like driving to 1U, it's jammed balls and parking is a bitch (owh Aiman baby I appreciate you so much more now!).

DIU it's all about the parking la.

And stupid people who drive so bloody slow and a lot of other factors which piss me off.
If you've met me and think that I am an angry person you should see me behind the wheel. You have not seen rage yet.

I also like driving fast. I notice that I like rushing around, even if I have all the time in the world. Which is weird... cos usually people don't like to rush hahaha hmmm.

So anyway last night I was driving home from Huey Wei's house in DJ. It was around 10.45pm and the roads were pretty clear so I happy happy speeding away la.
Then this guy was in my way on the fast lane so I flashed him.
Off I went happily driving at 130km/h. Then I had to slow down cos I needed to keep left to exit the highway onto Mutiara Damansara.
Just after I turned, I looked in my right side mirror and STUNNED a fucking police car behind me so I thought 'HOLY SHIT SHIT SHIT' and he was quite near sort of like tailgating me so I thought he wanted me to pull over so I slowed down a bit then he overtook me and I was like 'aaahhhhhh fuuuucccckkkkkk' but he didn't stop in front. He just went on.

Wa I damned relieved I tell you. I don't think my dad will take it nicely again this time if I tell him I got myself another speeding ticket :(

But no, I did not, and all is well.

I went home and told Curlykins and he was like "Sore la kind of wish you got pulled over you drive damn fast la"

MeanBean!

My tummy just spoke. It said "I WANT MY FUGGIN MCD'S"
WHERE ARE YOU LEYYYSH :(:(

It must have been love

2009-08-02T14:26:00.003+01:00

There are 2 things in life right now, that I know for a fact.

1. I am never going to get slimmer, or lighter.
2. My results are not going to be good.

About no. 1, I admit. I'm starting to feel insecure about my weight. I've never felt that way before, really. Never bothered about what people said or thought about my weight, never bothered imagining being one of those girls who fit into every damned thing and who look good in almost every damned thing.

But for the past few months... mostly today, I've been imagining myself with one of those skinny little figures. Imagine all the clothes I could wear!

And we'd also have one less thing to argue about.

If just for one day I wish I could disappear.

2009-08-02T05:48:00.002+01:00

A good read.

Sunday August 2, 2009
SHARING THE NATION WITH ZAINAH ANWAR

Brothers, be just to your sisters

Islam itself means submission to the will of God, but the submission of the self to faith and belief must be attained through conviction and reason, not through coercion and duress.

SO, Malaysia makes international news again. And for the wrong reason again. This time for the Kuantan Syariah Court’s decision to flog Kartika Sari Dewi Shukarno with six strokes of the rotan for drinking a glass of beer with her husband in a hotel in Cherating two years ago.

Sudan is in the news too with the arrest of a journalist, Lubna Ahmad Hussein, and 12 other women for wearing trousers, deemed to be “inappropriate dress and conduct” under that country’s Islamic criminal law. Ten of the women were already found guilty and flogged with 10 lashes each.

Then there is the news from the Maldives that almost 150 women face public flogging after being convicted for indulging in extramarital sex. Interestingly, only 50 men face the same punishment.

What is it about men who want to implement Islamic law that they pick on women to shame and defame?

As Kartika surrenders herself to her fate, I wonder how the Pahang religious authorities are planning to execute the six lashes. Will the Prime Minister who comes from Pahang and the Cabinet yet again intervene in the enforcement of the draconian Syariah Criminal Offences law in this country?

There is much public debate now along the usual divide. Islamists who support the punishment in the name of Islam and others who are outraged on several different grounds:

> That the punishment does not reflect the gravity of the offence;

> That as a first-time offender who also pleaded guilty as charged, Kartika should not have been punished with the maximum sentence;

> Flogging is a violation of human rights as it constitutes a cruel, degrading and inhuman treatment;

> Flogging women under Syariah law constitutes yet another form of discrimination against Muslim women in this country as women are exempted from flogging under civil law;

> Neither the Qur’an nor the Hadith prescribes any form of punishment for drinking alcohol;

> There is no consensus on flogging of women or for alcohol consumption. Only three states –Pahang, Perlis and Kelantan – provide for such punishment;

> Islamic teachings emphasise forgiveness, compassion and positive personal transformation. So why punish in the first instance?

What is distressing about all these stories of women being flogged for alleged transgressions of Islamic teachings is the seeming determination of those who rule in the name of Islam to project a misogynistic, punitive and vindictive God.

And yet, more than any other religion, Muslims invoke the name of God, the compassionate and the merciful, numerous times a day as we say our daily prayers, read verses of the Quran, and before we start any action. Alas, all too often, this invocation of God’s name has become meaningless and has no relation to how we live our lives and treat others in the name of religion.

As Karen Armstrong said in her public lecture here two years ago, we have become so obsessed about being right in our doctrine, instead of being just in our practice.

No amount of explaining – that Syariah caning is not supposed to cause injury, it is moderate, the caning officer is not supposed to lift his arm above his shoulder – is going to take away the pain and humiliation of such a cruel and degrading treatment.

In many Muslim countries, this flogging is done in public. The Indonesian National Commission on Violence Against Women submitted a report to the UN Committee Against Torture listing the abuses that occurred in Aceh and other districts in Indonesia which implement Syariah law where women were arrested and flogged for their dressing, for being out at night, for being with men not related to them.

The victimisation of women and the absence of rule of law are common trends in countries that implement moral policing laws.

That the prisons in the Maldives hold more women than men waiting to be flogged is no surprise. Men get away simply by denying they had sex with the women. But women could get pregnant and this is used as evidence of illicit sex, or the patriarchs in their family would have turned them in; while boys get away by just being boys.

The situation is similar in Pakistan, too, when the hudud law on zina was enforced. Over a thousand women are in prison for illicit sex and hardly any men. Even women who reported rape were detained as their police report was seen as confession of illicit sex because they were not able to produce four pious males who witnessed the rape.

Women’s groups in Malaysia, Indonesia and Singapore are jointly mobilising against Kartika’s sentencing, fearful of a precedent set that will have wide impact not just on Malaysian Muslim women, but also on the hundreds of thousands of Muslim women from neighbouring countries who travel, work or reside in Malaysia.

Once again, the questions arise. What kind of Malaysia do we want to live in, and project to the rest of the world? What kind of Islam do we want to practise? What kind of God do we want to envision? A God of kindness, compassion, beauty and goodness or a cruel, punitive and misogynistic God?

Does 1Malaysia include equality between men and women and equality between Muslim women and women of other faith?

The ever-so-often public outcry over arrests and abuses under the Syariah Criminal Offences laws show a clear disconnect between how the state views its role in controlling the lives of Muslims and how the citizens perceive their entitlements to privacy and personal choices.

If the Syariah Criminal Offences laws are implemented in full, Malaysia’s prisons would collapse. The vast list of crimes range from holding an opinion contrary to a fatwa, to possessing a book contrary to Hukum Syarak, and behaving in an indecent manner in a public place.

As religion is a state matter, different states have also added different offences. In Selangor, smoking is a crime. In Terengganu, it is a crime for a woman to reveal any part of her aurat that arouses passion in the public space or for a virgin woman to abscond from the guardianship of her parents without a reasonable justification valid under Hukum Syarak.

Is it the duty of the state – in order to bring about a moral society – to turn all “sins” into “crimes against the state”? Should the state extend the long arm of the law to what should be best left to the religious conscience of the individual?

We all know that faith comes from the heart. Islam itself means submission to the will of God, but the submission of the self to faith and belief must be attained through conviction and reason, not through coercion and duress.

Compelling obedience to God in this manner could suggest a failure in the way Islam is taught in this country. Is the solution then to turn to politicians to legislate on our lives and compel our obedience? Or is it for us to search for more effective ways to teach Islam, to imbibe Islamic values so that obedience to God comes from a genuine act of faith, belief and submission? Is it beyond our ability to lead the ummah to God’s way by love, beauty, kindness and compassion rather than through fear, coercion and punishment?

Original article can be found here: http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/8/2/focus/4434576&sec=focus

If you've got pain in your heart... why don't you share it with me..

2009-07-27T16:28:00.003+01:00

Thank you, Aimankins.

x

I <3 COW

BAHAHAHAHHA love you laaa kawan India!

CAN YOU PUT THE PAST AWAY WISH YOU WOULD STEP BACK FROM THAT LEDGE MY FRIEND

2009-07-27T05:43:00.002+01:00

The title is in caps because I am singing this song at the top of my lungs at Terry's place.
I think the Kian Huat aunty is going to come upstairs and ask me what's going on soon HAHA.

Hmmm I should blog. Since there is now wi-fi at Terry's place, and at certain hours I do have some free time. Just SOME. You know? Like a little. (just in case, Terry - who is the boss of me, finds my blog hahaha though I doubt so hehe)

Alright, soon! And I shall change this blogskin as well getting a bit boring. Actually no Im not bored of it cos I haven't come to my own blog in a long long while HAHAHA it's like I've been evading life working 2 jobs and trying to have a social life (I use the word 'try' because right now I'm kind of like a hermit) really doesn't give you much time to sit down and think because all the other free time I have when Im not working or going out with friends or hanging out with Aiman is used for sleeping and I suppose when I say I'm 'evading life' I suppose I've been putting off thinking about the more important things like the future I've just been focusing on right now like getting a new phone cos I lost my old one =.= and my camera has finally spoiled so I have nothing to take pictures with anymore and I suppose it's time I sat down and thought about what Im going to do with my life instead of typing out all this crap when I should be working haha.

I shall blog tomorrow. And go on a diet. And exercise more. And stop complaining.

Fate intervenes

2009-07-18T14:14:00.002+01:00

I have noticed that I seem to have lost the need to constantly update my blog.

The past few months, I have been finding it difficult to describe what I've been feeling in words.... Every time I click 'Create Post', more often than not I always press the X button on the top right hand corner after typing out a few lines.

Maybe it's because I'm growing up. This blog is a part of my young naivete, a part of me which I had just left behind recently.

So I suppose... the time has come to really let go.

Goodbye, dear blog. I have enjoyed recording my memories with you.

Perhaps the occasional post, once in awhile.

BAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA Owhkay fine that was crap. The only reason I'm not updating is because I work 2 jobs now and that I am fucking LAZY.

I wish you would step off from that ledge, my friend

2009-07-16T19:01:00.001+01:00

I am so thankful for cough mixture.

I will always love you

2009-07-12T01:35:00.003+01:00

Dear Aiman 'Bubukins/Bestie' Yusra,

I am sorry for all the fights we've been having the past few days, and I want to thank you for coming back each and every time, even if the last one took you longer to return.

I keep getting sensitive about small things, I think, because at the back of my mind I keep thinking about how I may have to leave soon. Leave my home behind, leave the rest of my childhood behind, but mostly leave you behind.

But I believe, that after being best friends for 2 years, and then a couple which shares everything with each other for the past 9 months; we'll hold on throughout the 9 months a year when we are apart. We'll hold on even with the distance separating us.

So... with this, I'm REALLY going to stop doubting whether we'll be able to do this, or whether I want to do this.

Because I'm going to screw the odds and go for it, for better or for worse.

Because right now, you are everything to me as well.

I love you.

x

Now a little ranting:

I've been feeling like fucking jealous for fucks man the past few days WHAT THE FUCK I mean I was never really jealous of her at all before and now I am I now feel really stupid for being jealous of the other person when this person whom I'm jealous of now has had a real long history with him and I know so do I but I I I I I don't know why I feel like that all of a sudden and no it's not like Im going to do anything I just feel like... like he may just... What the fuck. Jealousy is an evil, evil thing.

Routine

2009-07-06T01:48:00.001+01:00

AAAHHHHHHH I'M SOOOOO LAZZZYYY TOOOO GO TOOOO WOOOOOORRRRKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Proper updates soon enough.

I am a lala mui!

2009-06-16T12:35:00.002+01:00

I just got my hair trimmed today after 2390483592 years of thinking about doing it haha!
And now I look like a lala mui. Well, my closest people know that deep inside, I really am a lala mui so I may as well 'fess up right now!

I AM A LALA MUI AND I LOVEE IT!

Heeeee excuse the slight hyper-ness as it has just sunk in that my exams have ended and I no longer need to feel guilty when Im (re)watching Blood+ or Boys Over Flowers or playing Parking Dash or Wedding Dash or Diaper Dash or Fitness Dash!

Yes, I have ALL the Dash games. Yes, I am also a LOSER! AND LOVING IT!

Owhkay my hyper-ness has just reached another level, but please, BEAR WITH ME!

Today I spent the whole afternoon going into every bridal shop in SS2 looking for a prom dress to rent, and it was SO tiring. And the hot hot weather only made me sticky and smelly as well as tired. =.=

I didn't exactly find something that I fell in love with, just something that looked rather alright on me. So I went and borrowed a dress from a friend, I won't say who; you just wait for the pictures and then you'll know whose dress I'm wearing haha, cos she wore that during her form 5 prom.

Anyway, I'm so sleepy but I can't sleep cos I've got a personal statement to write, again =.=, since I decided to switch courses. (yes that was what the post below this one was about haha)

I shall leave you with an old act-cool picture of Leysha and I, because I think you've probably forgotten how I look like!

Also cos I like my eye makeup in this one hehe.

Lala mui, out!

PEACE ^.^v

Owh one more thing, I'm starting work tomorrow, pray that I don't embarrass myself or let Terry (yes, I'm working for TTTT) down with my dungu-ness =.=

Not really, I suppose.

2009-06-08T06:20:00.003+01:00

You know how people always say that life is like a drive from on destination to another?

You start with the small roads, experiencing the little bumps as you drive across it.
Then you move to the bigger roads, to get where you need to go; the highways.

I have this habit of jumping headfirst into things. I always think to myself, 'just get in the car and after a bit you'll figure out where and how to get there.' I do get where I need to go... but it usually takes more time than it's supposed to, and also usually after a series of u-turns; all because I never actually plan my journey... never actually think it through properly.

And some times I don't even get to my destination because there isn't anymore time and I had to get somewhere else or the place was already closed.

There are also those times when you're driving really fast towards one destination, and then suddenly you have an epiphany that that place is not where you're supposed to go, and then you quickly signal right to take a u-turn (much to others' dismay. Especially in Malaysia, since no one ever gives way on the roads =.=) and at the very end you squeeze your way through the other cars, u-turn, and go back to where you came from so you could head back out to a different highway.

Last night I changed my mind about studying Economics during my tertiary education.
Daddy was the one who put the idea in my head... telling me that I should do something I'd actually enjoy. That got me thinking....

And now, I've turned on my right signal.

Because I need to make a u-turn.

1, 2, 3, 4?

2009-05-29T08:31:00.002+01:00

My first paper is Stats 2, on the 1st of June.

This final exam will pretty much determine which country I'll go to.

It's either Aus or UK or.... here for another year. Haha.

Every time I tell someone I don't think my final grade is going to be good enough for the UK, they tell me "Can one laaa... don't worry!"

Seriously, these people.

I don't know if they're just being nice or they actually think that I "can one laaa".

And I am sort of stressed... but sort of not. Like I know I've still got fuckin shit loads to study but I just spent the last hour an a half on wedding dash.

Owh and while I'm practicing writing out my answers for Econs Unit 3 and 5 (I have not started on 6 HAHAHHA plan on cramming that whole unit in my few days of break), I tend to just stone there in the middle of writing and just... admire my own handwriting.

I am mesmerized by my own handwriting sometimes. It's so pretty and curlllyyyy. And so professional looking. HAHAHHAHAHA yes I know I'm going on about how fantastic my handwriting is... but really. Look for yourself:

My mom doesn't like it though. She said she prefers my std 1 writing when it was all fat and round, "like you!" she also added. =.=

That was some notes I scribbled down during one of Ms. Leong's econs classes so it isn't exactly my best handwriting, as Ms. Leong tends to explain stuff really fast and I had to keep up.

Right I should go study something now.

games

2009-05-25T18:55:00.003+01:00

I was watching the first ep of the 3rd season of Ugly Betty just now.

"Listen, things between us.. they're not always going to be great. But I'm your father. You are my son. And we're in this together. So even when I have to say no.... I still love you." Daniel to DJ, Ugly Betty Season 3 ep1.

Tonight's events made me realize what a child I am around you.
I never cry at something someone says. I hardly cry when people treat me bad. And I NEVER cry when I fight with my dad.

But with you... at the slightest annoyance of your voice, immediately I feel hurt. At the smallest reprimand, I feel my throat choking up.

I am always in control of myself. When I am angry, or when I am arguing with someone, I know my points. I know how to put them in their place.

But with you... I lose all senses. I lose all defenses. With you I am like the crocodile without the scaly skin, without protection.

With you, I am a child. And you, the parent.

I was alright the whole time, until that scene in Ugly Betty. I cried while watching that scene...

and have not stopped.

I won't be the one to go to you. Because I need to know that you will come for me.

I will wait... and wait.

Even though I get the feeling that tonight there will be no more calls, no more messages.

I will wait.

With my heart in my hands;

I will wait.

They say bad things happen for a reason

2009-05-21T04:05:00.002+01:00

I've been reading this blog of a friend of mine from college.

She's the same age as I, 19, but she's been keeping this blog since she was 14. She said goodbye to it mid of last year, which was her last post.

I've been reading every post she wrote since she started off the blog till the last one. Haha I know, damn stalker. But the things she wrote in each post... The blog was like a book, one which I couldn't stop reading till it was finished.

She wrote about the things she felt about the world around her, about the way people treated her, about her mother's supposed favoritism towards her brother... her obsession with Buffy the Vampire Slayer haha.

While I was reading it I felt like I could really relate to the loneliness she felt... like when her best friend wanted to move away, and she felt really sad about it but she showed no emotion because her bestfriend didn't seem to think that she'd be sad about her moving away.

And a whole load of other stuff which I felt but didn't know how to write it out in words.... I will not mention this person's name here though, although I don't think anyone who reads my blog knows her... but yeah.

x

I got all my offers through ucas already; Bath, Manchester and York.
Bristol unsuccessful-ed me haha. Ah well.

So right now... I'm in between Bath and Manchester. I don't know why but I'm just not feeling York.... if you get what I mean haha. And after speaking to Ying over msn last night, she said something to this effect: "Some times gut feelings hold quite some weightage... so just go with your instinct, you know?" Yeah something like that haha.

But then again, whether I go to UK or not depends on my results later on. =.=
And by the looks of it I think the chances of me achieving the required scores are quite slim... so after all this talk think I'll probably just end up in Melboune.

Which.... isn't a bad thing. Not a bad thing at all.

Jade would be there, I could just hope on the train and go all the way back to Glen Waverly to see my JadoWado for Aud$5.80 whenever I'm feeling down or need someone familiar.

Speaking of someone familiar, I saw a whole bunch of familiar faces while I was there, so no problem with that ha ha. =.= I wasn't really culture-shocked at all. Or maybe it's because I was only there for a few days....

And I have so much family over there. When Mummykins and Dad come to visit they can stay with my uncle and aunt and they can go fishing and golf-ing. Haha.

But some part of me wants to go somewhere and be on my own. With nobody I know, start anew... see how I'll fair on my own in the world.

Eager to spread my wings... is that how people put it?

Ah well. None of it is going to happen if I don't get studying like, right now.

Food first though. Hehe.

With just one wink of an eye.. like magic

2009-05-20T09:50:00.003+01:00

May told me about this song and it's been stuck in my head since last night.

I don't know how these people keep studying for long periods of time.
My attention span just dies after 20mins max.

I'm doing a little of everything... which is good, if I'd started like 2 and a half months ago or something.

But the study plan recommended right now is hardcore stuffing things into my brain (only less than 2 weeks left) but I am still doing things as I please....

So yes, I do understand that whatever happens to my tertiary education is of my own doing.

In other words, I am digging my own grave. Bahaha!

I don't know how I find humour in these kinds of situations really.

When I lost interest just awhile ago I had nowhere to doodle so I drew on my pointer finger with my blue g1. Then my fringe fell out of my pin and tickled my nose so I rubbed it with the finger I just drew on. Now my nose is blue.

I think I'll go take a nap.

and I don't want you to go to bed mad at me, and I don't wanna go to bed mad at you

2009-05-16T19:57:00.003+01:00

I know how much you hate that song... but right now, the words mean more than you can imagine.

It's the 3rd night I'm going to bed with tears... and soon a third morning I wake up with my eyes swollen.

But I meant what I said.

And if you never come back... then I'll know that what we had was never real in the first place.

And I wonder if you notice that every time I don't get to say this to you over the phone, I'll either text it or write it here.

Tonight, once again, I'll write it here. Because you probably put my contact on your phone black list.

Goodnight, baby. And regardless of what you're thinking or feeling right now, of what I'M thinking and feeling right now;

I love you.

... I really do.

I stunned x 100 HAHA

2009-05-16T19:22:00.002+01:00

While waiting for Aiman to come home I was surfing facebook and I saw this and stunned HAHA

Go add her pls hehe k bye

If I was a flower growing wild and free, all I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee.

2009-05-15T18:20:00.003+01:00

"In my opinion, the best thing you can do is.. find a person who loves you, for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome; what have you. The right person's still gonna think the sun shines out your ass." - Mr. McGuff, Juno's dad.

You know that I'll always think that the sun shines right out your ass... and I hope that right now, you still think that the sun shines out my ass.

But tonight you got me sad and blue

2009-05-12T18:42:00.003+01:00

It's hard to sleep when this bloody stabbing feeling doesn't go away.

You said you didn't want to leave your baby alone; but here I am right now... alone.

I'm glad that I don't have to be anywhere tomorrow...

Damn regret?

2009-05-10T14:44:00.002+01:00

So my A2 exams are in 21 days; and needless to say, I am fucked.

Haha what else is new right LOL.

Right so on April 14th, Aiman and I turned half a year! Yeah I know that was like almost a month ago and I'm only blogging about it now lol. I really don't know what I do with my time these days.
I don't blog, I don't really go out late at night much and I sure as hell haven't been studying so... what happens to all that time?

Owh hmm. Now that I think about it, I've been spending most of the free time on my hands sleeping (extra) and playing stupid dash games (diner dash, cooking dash, wedding dash) BAH.

And a few days ago I think God was sending me his last warning through that tag I did on facebook. You know, the one where you put your playlist on shuffle and then after reading a question you press 'next' on your player?

Yeah so after reading the question, "What is the story of your life?", I pressed next, and the song that came up with Damn Regret by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. HAHA.

Yes... 3 more weeks. I can still make a difference.

x

Anyway, I digressed. We celebrated our 6months as a couple in Chili's, our fav place to eat!

We know that 6 months together isn't that great... but we just like to find reasons to set aside money to go have yummy food!

WET 1023 hehe.

Hello Mr. Henskem :)

Don't know why my hair was so flat that day =.=

Act cute?

Triple Play

They used to use potato skin as the base for this

Buffalo wings!

Lamb Shoulder Steak

Beef Bacon Burger

Best mashed potato ever

Yummy FAT!

It'll be 7 months in a few days.... I love you, Bubuu!

x

Dad just came in and asked me whether I've got classes tomorrow.

And it hit me. I'm done with college. I'm all done with college.

The last leg of the race is here, yet again. This is the last 100m where you sprint as hard as you can in an 800m race.

I'm just afraid that like in running... I'll end up 3rd place, at most.

Because I didn't sprint hard enough the last 100m.

Longing and yearning

2009-04-30T15:33:00.003+01:00

Such a fine line between love and hate.

I don't even know why I bothered.

Wait... I do. I just wish he did too.

Goodnight.... And I love you.

My boyfriend has sexy sexy hair

2009-04-22T15:02:00.003+01:00

Right so I couldn't think of a title and thus I wrote what was foremost on my mind.

The foremost thing on my mind should be studying and salvaging my A levels, but no.

Instead, I am thinking of my boyfriend's hair.

It may be very very sexy hair, curling all over his face and all, but I SHOULD BE THINKING OF MY FUTURE!

Was talking to May just now and I told her that I need my motivation to study.

And she replied me simply, "er your future depends on it?"

Yes. These grades determine which uni I'll get into. The start of my future.

SO WHY AREN'T I MOTIVATED?

Can someone correct that sentence for me? It sounds wrong...

x

Staying in denial for a long time and having it blow up in my face at the end is what I am most good at, besides making a total fool of myself in public areas (omg.... so many bad memories), and this is the being-in-denial part. So I shall push it to the back of my mind and blog about something fun!

But first, May's moral class is having this Charity Walk thing, which you all should attend!

This Charity Walk is for Harvest Center Underprivileged Children. Each participant donates RM10 (come on laaaaa what's RM10!) and gets a free shirt.

They are targetting 1000 participants, so HELP OUT PLS THANKS.

I'm not attending because it's a few days to my exam =.= So I have a valid excuse.

But yes, details are as follows:

Host:
Moral Studies student of Sunway University College

Type:
Sports - Sporting Event

Network:
Malaysia

Date:
Saturday, May 30, 2009

Time:
7:00am - 1:00pm

Location:
Field of Sunway University College

Street:
No.5, Jalan University, Bandar Sunway
City/Town:
Petaling Jaya, Malaysia

Phone:
0176633076
Email:
anilim@hotmail.com

I got that from facebook, check it out HERE.

Coincidentally, my mom sent me an email with this video that is somewhat related to this.... watch it.

x

Now back to my boring life. Haha.
There's this place in college where I like to sit when I'm emo or bored and where my Indian friends like to go and smoke we call it The Benches because it's this small place with a few benches almost hidden behind the tall trees and plants places there it's sort of like a little shaded area with wind constantly blowing a place to get away from the chaos of Jalan Dungun.

Jas was carrying The Sun, and when he left for class Ley started making paper hats... and a sword and a gun. HAHA.

Mastermind doing her thing

Then came Jayesh!

I... did take pictures in the hat and bearing the sword, but the pictures were obscene and so to avoid Aiman biting my head off, I shan't post it up.

Right owhkay I have delayed studying much too long.... too long indeed.

Til the next time I find the need to blog; au revoir.

Owh right,

One of the simple things in life I love the most- the sky, at twilight.

LIFE SUCKS

2009-04-21T00:34:00.001+01:00

Life suck fact 1:

Life sucks because it is drizzling lightly outside, the perfect weather for sleeping in and relaxing.... and I have to fucking go to college because I have class at 8am.

So yes, life sucks.

All I wanna do is find a way back into love...

2009-04-19T13:44:00.002+01:00

My chest feels as if I have 4 sandbags attached to each corner.

I walk around feeling like I'm 7300kgs, and not just 73kgs.

You are the reason that I breathe, you are the reason that I still believe

I was eating chicken rice with siu yoke and I don't know if it was just in my mind or what, but it was tasteless.

Every song on the radio made me sad. I kept changing the channels, from 1 to 2 to 3 to 4 to 5 to 6.
And then back again. Finally I gave up and just turned it off.

Oh my beloved...

I just banged my keyboard again because the 'n' wasn't working. I hit it so hard my hand hurts like balls.

But the stabbing feeling in my stomach and chest hurts so much more.

I painted my nails olive green today, and I wanted to tell you how pretty it was.

I'm not going to say I'm sorry anymore, because I know the word has become a bit stale.

Being with you, is so dysfunctional. I really shouldn't miss you, but I can't let you go....

I don't know what to do, I don't want the next time we talk to end up like that again.

But then again, I don't think I even want to talk, because I'm so afraid we'll end up fighting again. I don't even know which one of us instigated the last one...

I don't live on the moon, drink martinis in the afternoon

Felt like just yesterday we were dancing to this song in each others arms in my room.

I know you tried really hard to make things better, and I know that I wasn't exactly helping.... every thing I said just made things worst.

But... I love you, and I hope we work this out soon. This bloody ache is killing me.

Oh my beloved.

love glue gun

2009-04-15T15:36:00.002+01:00

I was at the Cyberfusion 2009 event thing at Cyberjaya last weekend.

Pictures, now!

They decided to extend it to 40 hours

Me, waiting for Aiman

I went and bought him the shirt which says "I survived the longest lan party ever"
Hehe damn good girlfriend right hehe

Spot the Aiman!

Pssst. Right in the middle, with the grey hoodie and white Siberia whatever headset haha.

The 40th hour finally came

Altogether 219 people played for 40 hours, I think.

I helped him carry his stuff out to the caarr

This is how a person looks like after gaming for 40hours straight with no sleep.

And today my baby is sick :(

Poor boy had diarrhea, headache and a feveeerrr.

Think it's the 40 hours of non-stop gaming coupled with unhealthy food and minimal water =/

I on the other hand woke up sneezing today and continued sneezing till the evening =.=

Oooh ooh and I watched the movie He's Just Not That Into You today and I LOVED it.
So cliche, but I totally bought it HAHA.

I think that's what being in love (see, another cliche tagline) does to you.
Or does it happen to every girl?

I'm hungry.

2009-04-12T07:30:00.002+01:00

So I took a cab to 1U, then took a bus to putrajaya sentral where I had to take another bus to MMU.

Once at MMU, I had to walk up a freaking long hill.

For that, I don't feel bad for skipping gym this morning. =.=

Then when I got here, Bubu tells me they're extending the thing to 40 hours instead of us 38 hours.

So... Here I am, with 2 hours to fill.

And I'm sulking. Because I hate waiting.

Blah fine. I'll stop sulking. Later. :p

Cyberfusion 2009

2009-04-12T03:00:00.002+01:00

I drove all the way to Cyberjaya yesterday to see my babykins.

The fella insisted on joining the longest lan party (in the world, I think; since there's Guiness World Book of Records involved) where 250 participants would have to stay up for 38hours playing games.

I didn't know how he was going to tahan 38hours, but last I spoke to him (a few minutes ago) he is still holding on. Only 4 more hours to go!

So yes, I prepared a care-pack and brought it there for him. ^^

We (Leysha and I) got lost inside Cyberjaya for a bit, but no worries! We found our way haha.

Btw, google maps is almost completely useless when used in Malaysia, because sign boards here are so fucking confusing. =.=

Will be heading there again to take him home later. I can't wait :( I know my poor baby is really really tired :(

Will post up pictures soon ^^

Woke up at 8.30am today... and yes, I should've went to the gym. But I couldn't get my lazy arse up and so here I am, having bacon and eggs with toast and tea for breakfast HAHA.

Ooooh pie!

I go a'walkin' after midnight, out in moonlight just like we used to do

2009-04-08T15:27:00.004+01:00

Yes hello it has been a million years.

I know I've been MIA, but then again, there was no action. Well none besides college and Aiman lah.
Which means there has been none. HAHA.

But I shall update for the sake of updating, before I completely lose the whole blogging thing.

So er.... today I went to the gym?

Right. Today I had to apply the saying 'we must learn to laugh at ourselves'. Because I have very bad body coordination.

Right so this morning I thought to myself, 'let's not waste mummy's money and make full use of that gym.'
I use a lot of the equipment and the steam room (omg LOVE that place) and the sauna, but have never actually attended any of the classes, so I thought 'hmmm why not go join one today, since working out by myself using the equipment with only my thoughts for company gets kinda boring and every time I walk pass that place the people inside look like their having so much fun jumping around to the loud music and stuff.' wow what a long thought HAHA!

So I went to join the Body Step class. I chose that one because my coworker told me that was her favorite class.

Well... I shall not say much about how it went because I do not want to relive that partially horrible and partially embarrassing memory.

Let's just say that the teacher (is that what you call the guy who guides the class?) kept saying "The girl in the I<3NY shirt, watch the lady in the front and follow her" (this lady was like 50+ and she was doing the moves like a fucking pro whilst I was fumbling the whole way through =.= and she looks like May Ee's aunty)

and "I<3NY look here look here LISTEN TO ME HEY HERE HERE" (I can't fucking watch the lady in front, listen to you and try to get the moves right all at once laaaa OK??)

and "I<3NY you're making me dislike New York... get the next one right and I may just like New York again" (at this point I was just covering my face)

The only good thing I got out of the whole class was that it was a good workout. Sweat balls. Damn 7 tired also.

But I think I shall just try something that doesn't require much body coordination the next time ha ha...

Err... k I shall post on Valentine's Day.
Yes I know Valentine's Day was like 2 months ago, but I like la ok.

K photobucket doesn't wanna upload my photos so we'll just skip that. I'll back track if I remember to later on.

Owh yes, I followed Aiman to go play CS.
Wanted to act good girlfriend, which I did.
But I was fucking bored weiiy.

Hence the pictures:

AHAHAH

Eih bubu your iPhoen camera quite suck right? HEHEHEHEHE

Does anyone wanna guess how much those headphones cost?
The brand is.. er... siberia something something. HAHAHA.

GeeruFf <3 Chingy

Baby in action

Owhkay another reason why the iPhone sucks: I have tried rotating those pictures like 2394823 times, and after I'm done it just goes back to the way it was.
Which answers your question of why the pictures are all not upright.

And the main reason why the iPhone sucks: I do not own one. HAHAHAHHA.

Mmm k now let's fast forward to errr 4 days ago. Went to watch this Malaysian Production (a Yasmin Ahmad film) called Talentime.
If I'm not wrong this fellar who's in our school now acts in it.

The main actor is very cute ^^.

Well, my take on the movie is that there's too many story lines jumbled into one movie, and some of the lines came off as trying hard to be funny (e.g. Did she say 'arse'? Well that used to be my favorite word. My favorite word now is 'dick' -- wtf la?) and some of the acting is quite bad. Haha.

But I enjoyed the music, Bubu likes the song 'Ore Piya' (kept singing it in the car on the way home) and my favorite line was 'life is like a black man's left ball (testicle); it's not right and it's not fair.' BAHAHA!

He grabbed my phone and took these pictures of himself. I SWEAR!

Mushroom Chicken cheese baked rice.
Of course, Kimgary's is better hehe.

Now let's rewiiiinndd to Valentine's Day.

We had dinner in Sakae Sushi, went to KLIA to see Patrick off, and then went to see planes land!
It was quite cool haha. Took a lot of videos, but I'm lazy to upload.

What's Valentine's Day without flowers, yes?

and yummy foood?

Cuppacakes!

My Mr. Henskem

Yes I have a super big hamtaro on my bed.

And yesterday we went to Malacca!
Aiman had some translating thing to do there so we went on a road trip.

It got quite stressful at some parts because I'm not good with directions, and he is an impatient person.

But hmm.. I would say I quite enjoyed myself.
I want to go baccckkkk I wanna see museums and eat more chicken rice balls and asam pedas!

Been very lazy to put on make up these days.

omg my finger ==

I love looking at old architecture..

BUBUKINNSSS!

He kept walking in front of the camera when I was trying to take pictures =.=

On the way to MMU!

I was so hyped up over chicken rice balls cos everytime I mentioned that I was going to Malacca the person listening would always say something like "to do what? eat chicken rice balls?" or "chicken rice balls?" or "buy chicken rice balls for me?"

So I damn excited over the chicken rice balls la.

Then when we went to yumcha with Nick he said "chicken rice balls SUCK la I go chicken rice balls shop I order normal chicken rice"

I was quite sore la haha. :(

But Ihad them for breakfast this morning and they were YUMMYY!
I loike la. I want eat again, Bubuuuuuu!

Ah k I think that's enough for a proper update.
Time to talk to my baby on the phone heeee TATA!

And if y'all are thinking "what the fuck damn fucking boring weiy all she EVER talks about it Aiman Aiman Aiman bubukins babykins curlykins BLAH"

Well, I did warm you waaayyyy at the top of the post that quote, "I know I've been MIA, but then again, there was no action. Well none besides college and Aiman lah."

See, college and Aiman. And as I've mentioned before, all I ever do in college is go for class, eat, and talk nonsense to Leysha.

So I've only Aiman to talk about.

Which to me... isn't sad at all. <3

Owhkay this is crap.

2009-03-23T05:56:00.003Z

I've been in this bloody library for 3 hours, and have not done much studying.

I need help with stats 2, and I can't stop thinking of mashed potatoes.

Can you imagine? Constantly thinking of mashed potatoes? It's KILLING ME.

Mmm declining terms of trade... more imports to buy the same amount of exports... maybe I should go down and have some mashed potatoes... nono it's more exports to buy the same amount of imports... due to low income elasticity... mashed potatoes... wtf? owhkay owhkay errr... right, fluctuating prices of primary products... are the instant mashed potatoes unhealthy? owh right barriers to trade... most countries have significant barriers to trade for their own agricultural products so even exporting is difficult... what happened if I press button 3 on the instant mashed potato machine? BLAH WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

It's like my mind is another person. I just keep thinking of bloody mashed potatoes!

This is NOT going well. Econs mocks are on friday, and I can't seem to practice writing out my answers properly without some sort of distraction whether external or internal (HAH!).

Think I'm just going to screw this and go have some mashed potatoes.

WORD CHALLENGE!

2009-03-16T03:43:00.001Z

I'M SO ADDICTED TO THIS SHIT.

I actually went to 3 com labs just to find a computer that had the flash player so I could play this stupid game.

Supposed to be doing homework. Babykins is going to be annoying when he finds out =P=P=P

Dear Ms/Mrs/Mr I-love-to-interfere-because-I'm-too-bloody-free-at-home

2009-03-10T01:55:00.006Z

I'm sure those of you who have been reading this blog, my blog, would have noticed that I post on my personal life 99.9% of the time. And I even write about some of my intimate personal details.

I don't care if you judge me or comment on the pictures I post up or what I write about or how I write about it.
I won't even tell you to mind your own business.

Because I understand fully well that I had given you readers the right to judge and comment when I had posted all those personal things about myself.

As you can see above: screw what all of you think. I don't care.

I have something to ask of all of you though, and that is to not tell me what to do.

Don't tell me things, or tell other people knowing that it would come back to me such as:

"You shouldn't post up such pictures" or "You should not reveal so much about your personal life".

Everything I have posted up on this blog, my personal blog, I have thought twice about the consequences and the outcome of my doing.

So, what I've been trying to say is, I'd appreciate it very much if you would refrain from encroaching on my right to write whatever I want on this blog; MY blog.

In other words, don't tell me what to do.

I'm sure YOU don't like to be told what to do, yes?

For this reason, I have taken out the links to my archives.
I'm just too lazy to deal with you interfering (intrusive in a meddling or offensive manner; "an interfering old woman"; - taken from Dictionary.com, 1st result) idiots. I will not be stifled.

Dududu.

2009-03-09T02:07:00.002Z

I'm supposed to be at the gym now haha...

As usual I will be late. But I'll go! Promise!

I woke up with a sore throat. Must be from Uncle Bob and the lousy takoyaki I had last night. =/=/

Mmm... need something soupy to have for lunch before going to work later. :(
Blah I HATE sore throats.

And I've got SO much stats homework to complete by Wednesday. Damn 7 lazy dog. =.=

And I'm hungry! :( I've been thinking of food so much the past few days... OMG JAP BUFFET THIS WEDNESDAY!

Going with my Mr. Skinners hee hee. I hope they have ikura sushi. :( And good takoyaki. And fresh oysters. And omg UNLIMITED SALMON SASHIMI!

Now I'm SUPER hungry.

CW!

Although things haven't been all smooth lately, I'm sure we'll get pass it.
I love you... and I won't stop trying.

YUM

2009-03-07T02:34:00.001Z

Have I ever mentioned how much I LOVE jelly cola candy?

Those little bottle shaped cola flavoured chewy jelly candy?

AHHHHH I need to go get summore before going to work later.

And have I also mentioned how much I love to dilly dally?

Right. I shall go now. =P

Sigh gym gym gym...

If you steal my sunshine

2009-03-06T13:59:00.002Z

Why, hello everyone!

Today I shall revive my dying blog which has been devoid of proper updates and pictures to illustrate.

I still haven't found a software that resizes pictures, so those pictures which need resizing shall be posted up later.

*Yin Yee, thanks for your suggestion! I downloaded Nero Photoshow Express 4, but I don't think they have that resizing function I need so badly. =/

And for some shit reason I can't install Java on my com, which means I can't upload pictures to facebook either.

Yes yes there is the Simple Uploader but that thing only uploads 6 pics at once and I just can't be half arsed uploading 6 pictures by 6 pictures.
So Dillion, please be patient owhkay. Your poser pics will be up on facebook soon enough. ;)

Anyway, it was my deca-friend's birthday on the last day of Febuary, and his Audrey planned a birthday thing for him at Long Bar in OneWorld Hotel on that day.

My deca-friend has really grown up; downing black label and all... hehehe.

:D

Dillion damn act cute =P

I likey this picture

Yam senngg!

Hong and I

Steph and Audrey

Steph and I

Pretty Yiennyy

Today (March 6th) is Wei Kit's birthday actually haha!

So er, HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEI KIT! (I sent you an sms ok)

I got Dillion to pse on the pool table for me

After that he wouldn't leave me alone (yes, more than usual) kept asking me to take his poser pictures for him hahaha.

And then my camera disappeared for some time as Dillion went around showing everyone pictures of him posing.

When I got it back I found this pic and the next two below:

Pretty couple ^^

Yes, another one =.=

Dillion kept asking me to take a picture of him posing as a pro darter (is that what professional dart players are called? HAHAHA!)
And Wei Kit was telling him how it should be done and all but none of the shots taken turned out very nice so Wei Kit got frustrated and decided to show us all exactly how it's done:

The look he was going for was the 'turn and walk away after a great shot' I think it quite worked, yes?

Happy Birthday, Ken. ^^

Yes I have more stuff to post up, but that will be for another day. ^^

I'll be working the entire weekend, just thinking about it makes me tired already. =.=

I want new slippers

2009-03-02T23:31:00.003Z

I can't find a stupid picture editting software which has that resizing function. =.=

Previously, before reformatting my pc I used Microsoft Photo Editor, but right now I don't have it anymore. =.=

And I don't think Picasa has that function. BLAH.

So um, due to excessively large sized photos which take FOREVER to upload, I have not been posting up any.

Donkeeys.

Blah. Need to get my big arse to college.

I've got a bubu on my pinky :(

2009-02-27T16:50:00.004Z

My finger hurts like a bitch.

My last finger on my right hand.

I hurt my last finger slamming my closet door.

It is now bruised and I can feel it thumping.

There's so much pain.

I slammed the closet door because I was so frustrated.

And angry. And hurt.

With what, whom?

That, I sort of know. But I don't really know. Just sort of. You know?

I opened my closet to put three stupid Toys R Us flowers in there so I didn't have to look at them.

Stupid, stupid things.

I looked at the Nokia 8310 lying on my desk.

I picked it up and threw it to the floor, hard.

It still works. I laughed. Haha.

My pinky is still thumping because it still hurts a lot.

I sat on the floor, in the middle of my room.

And I started to cry.

Why did I cry? Because my pinky hurts.

Because I hurt it against the handle when I slammed my closet door.

Because I had to put those stupid pretty red flowers out of my sight.

Because I had to stop shaking.

Because I had to stop thinking.

But now... I need to stop crying.

Is she in the bathroom or is she smoking up outside?

2009-02-25T06:00:00.002Z

My computer at home is fucked up and so I cannot blog.

But I shall get it fixed soon, and then I'll post on quite a number of stuff.

Need to go get my UCAS applications finished right now.

I miss Jade. And my Babykins. Sigh.

But here's something for you people to read:

Wednesday February 25, 2009

Malaysians not so hot in bedroom

KUALA LUMPUR: A surprisingly high number of Malaysians are not sexually satisfied, a survey by pharmaceutical company Pfizer has revealed.

Two out of three Malaysian men and three out of four women are not satisfied with their sex lives, the Asia-Pacific Sexual Health and Overall Wellness survey stated. Malaysians are ranked sixth among 13 countries but, if it’s any consolation, Singaporeans fared worse. They are in eighth spot.

India topped the list with 70% of the respondents saying they were satisfied with their sex lives while Japan reported the lowest sexual satisfaction rate at 10%. “The Malaysian figure is higher than the overall Asia Pacific results where 57% of men and 64% of women reported being not very satisfied with sex,” said Dr Rosie King, who led the study in the Asia Pacific region from May to July 2008.

“The survey links the level of erection hardness to sexual satisfaction for men.” said Dr King during a roundtable discussion at a hotel here yesterday.

The level of erection hardness is measured in a scale of one to four using the Erection Hardness Score (EHS) developed by the European Association of Urology.

“Level one is like tofu where the male organ is large but not hard, level two is similar to a peeled banana where it’s not hard enough for penetration, level three is like an unpeeled banana where it’s hard enough for penetration but not completely, and level four is similar to a cucumber where it’s completely hard and fully rigid,” explained Dr King.

The men were required to evaluate themselves using the EHS during the survey and 40% of Malaysian men reported that they experienced erection below grade four.

Compared to their EHS grade four counterparts, these men have sex less often, are less sexually satisfied, and may suffer from lack of self confidence, or worse, depression.

“We found that greater sexual satisfaction is strongly associated with greater satisfaction with life overall. Generally, men and women who are highly satisfied with their sex life have a more positive outlook on their relationships and life.

In Malaysia, 102 men and 100 women were selected nationwide based onage, marital status, education level, and income to participate in the survey.

mmmoooooooo

2009-02-18T12:41:00.003Z

This morning, Leysha taught me a song called "I Am Cow".

I am Cow

So the first two lines of the song goes;

I am cow, hear me moo, I weigh twice as much as you.
And I look good on the barbeque!

I've been singing the bloody song the entire day haha.

So at 9.30am this morning, I texted Aiman this:

I'm a cow, hear me moo, I weigh twice as much as you!

He replied me a short while later:

Wtf baby. Haha.

Just as I was about to reply to that, he sent me another reply:

I am cat, hear me meow, I love you my big fat cow!

I laughed, teared (just a little!), and then felt offended.

Big fat cow? SERIOUSLY? =P

Silly babykins. :-*

Huggeerrsss!

2009-02-15T08:52:00.001Z

Omg omg omg PASAR MALAM!